Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Not the Past, Not the Future, but in the Now

Several months ago, Fr. Matthew, my parish priest, said in one of his homilies that the saints have a tendency to not dwell on the past and to not look towards the future. They live in the present. I find this to be wonderful advice to follow on our own path to sainthood.
I personally have a tendency to think too much about the past. I'm good as far as not wanting to change the past. I fully believe that I am right where I need to be in life and all of my mistakes and failures in the past have led me to where I am right no. But still, I tend to get frustrated because of my failings in the recent past. I get ticked off about the sins I've committed because I know better. I know what I need to do but for some reason I don't do it. I feel like I'm not making any progress in my interior life because I allow myself to fail. Fortunately, God is full of mercy and forgives us for our sins. I fully realize that but I get down on myself for my failings because I don't want to hurt God.
We need to trust where God takes us in the future. Fr. Mike, my spiritual director, gave me a poem today that compares our life with Christ to a ride on a tandem bicycle. We want to be the one in front steering but we have to let Jesus have the front seat and trust Him to steer. Trust that He will take us where He wants us to be. That He will introduce us to people that we need to meet. Make us kick off that unnecessary baggage.
If we live in the present we will not worry about things in the past that we cannot change and we will allow ourselves to be led by the Holy Spirit and allow ourselves to go where He wants us to go. We need to focus on the now and love in the now. If we love in the now we will live our lives the way that God wants us to be and that will lead us to our eternal reward in Heaven.

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