Saturday, May 29, 2010

Remembering on Memorial Day

Today we celebrate Memorial Day--a day started after the Civil War and then made into Federal Law in the 1960's to remember those soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines who gave their lives in defense of our country. Too often, it simply turns into a 3-day weekend where we sit around and have a cook-out instead of a time of remembrance.

Make sure you take time this week-end to remember those who have given their lives in service to their country.

Attached is a video of servicemen coming home and surprising their families to help us recall the sacrifices that they make. I couldn't help to picture these images happening over the centuries, whether or not it was today, after World War II or the even the Civil War. These men, while are survivors, have given their lives to the country.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

You'll Go Blind If You Keep That Up!!

Isn't it interesting how a generation looks at things differently. A few decades ago, masturbation was looked at as something dirty. Parents threatened their kids that they would go blind or that hair would grow on their palms if they masturbated. But, over time, we were told that people shouldn't repress their sexual desires and that it was perfectly natural to masturbate. So, I would have to say that the typical consensus in today's society is that it's perfectly natural to masturbate and that parents shouldn't discourage it in anyway or else their child may grow up with some sort of disorder. It probably doesn't shock anyone to be told that the Catholic Church still teaches that masturbation is a sin. Of course it's not shocking--after all--the Church is so "old fashioned" and "behind the times." It's just another reason not to listen to the church. Here is an idea. How about we explore the reasons as to WHY the church teaches it instead of just thinking of it as old fashioned. Why? Put it bluntly--people would rather pleasure themselves than to be told that they can't.

I don't think it is any secret that the Catholic Church has done a cruddy job explaining her teaching about sexuality much less masturbation. It wasn't until Pope John Paul II started talking about the "theology of the body" early on in his pontificate that people really understood the church's teaching. Before then, it appeared that sex was dirty and cheap and to be done solely in the missionary position in bed with the lights turned off. It wasn't until John Paul's helped us see sex in the way that it was intended and that sex is beautiful. Sex became a total, free, fruitful and faithful exchange of love between a husband and a wife. It's a symbol of God's love and any sexual act that isn't free, fruitful, total and faithful actually tears down the beauty of sex and how sex was supposed to be. There is so much more about the theology of the body than I can explain. I encourage everyone to become more educated about the theology of the body.

Masturbation, obviously, is not a free, fruitful, faithful and total exchange of love between a man and a woman. First of all, it's not even an exchange between husband and wife. And it's certainly not fruitful and definitely not faithful. In fact, I would venture to say that most people think of people other than their spouse when they masturbate. And-if they are thinking of their spouse then they are seeing their spouse as an object to be used and not as a person to be loved. I suppose that would go for anyone you are thinking about--you are imagining them as someone to use and not to be loved.

Put simply--masturbation makes it more difficult to be chaste and pure of heart. Chaste does not mean abstinence-it means the ordering of our sexual desires into an act of self-giving love instead of self gratification. By masturbating, you are giving into that self-gratification and instead of a release of sexual tension you become a slave to that self gratification and idea of using others for that gratification. If you break the chains of that slavery you don't repress the sexual desires but you put them in order and you actually become more free.

I've seen what those chains of slavery to masturbation do to people. I've done car checks on people in parks where they couldn't even wait to get home to pleasure themselves. I've had to do building checks on stores that sell pornography where they have private booths to show videos to their patrons. I don't think I need to explain what they do in the private booth. I don't think anyone can say that having to masturbate in public places is healthy or normal.

Repression is not the way to go because well. . . it doesn't get rid of the feelings. But you don't have to masturbate to get rid of lustful feelings. Too often, we rely on ourselves to take care of our problems but we can quite simply turn to God for assistance. Say a quick prayer when we face temptation. Ask God to help you see the person you are thinking about as someone made in the image and likeness of God and not to be looked up as an object for your self gratification.

I'm not saying it's easy at all. Many people are addicted to pornography and addicted to masturbation but with the grace of God you can overcome the temptation and be free. And if you do give it you don't have to freak out. You've succumbed to sin. Go to confession, be freed of your sins and receive the grace to help you not do it again.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Arizona: Not a Racist as You Might Think

I recently wrote about about how the Arizona Immigration Law Affects Law Enforcement. It's a month later and the law in Arizona is still causing a lot of debate and discussion. There are people wanting to boycott Arizona and who believe that Arizona is full of racists. To watch television, a person would think that the law has police officers doing massive sweeps and grabbing anyone with brown skin and sending them to Mexico. It brings up visions of the Japanese internment camps during World War II, when whole Japanese families were placed confined and kept in camps just because of their ethnicity.

I did something crazy. I went to the source. I went to the Arizona State Legislature website and read the bill myself. The first paragraph describes what the intent of the bill is "compelling interest in the cooperative enforcement of federal immigration laws throughout all of Arizona. "

The rest of the bill is divided into 12 different sections.

The first one is "cooperation and assistance in enforcement of immigration laws." It basically forbids any official or agency from limiting or restricting the enforcement of Federal immigration laws.

Section 2 makes it a state law to violate Federal Immigration Laws. It states that immigration status shall be determined by either a law enforcement officers authorized by the federal government or one communicating with the federal government.

The next section makes it illegal to smuggle humans.

Section five makes it illegal for a vehicle to stop in the road to stop and pick up someone in order to hire them and for anyone to get into a vehicle for employment.

Next, we see where it's illegal for anyone to transport, harbor, conceal, move, transport or shield any illegal alien. This section also allows for vehicles used to transport illegals to be impounded.

The next two sections of the law makes it illegal for employers to hire unauthorized aliens and puts in place procedures for complaints to be investigated and allows for the suspension of business licenses to companies that do hire illegal aliens.

Section eight requires employers to verify the eligibility of employees through an e-verify system.

The next section requires an officer to tow a vehicle that is driven by someone's who driving privilege is suspended, revoked or had never had a driver's license unless it's an employers vehicle, it's an emergency or the person's spouse, who is legally licensed, is present and can drive the vehicle.

Section 10 establishes a fund for Gang and Immigration Intelligence team and one after that basically says that if one section of the law is found invalid the rest of the law is not invalid. The final section simply gives a name to the act.

I encourage you to read the law for yourself. But it seems to me that most of these sections are things that people expect from law enforcement. I'm still a believer that there is a need for immigration reform in the United States but after reading this bill, I don't think I can criticize it, especially, not living in Arizona and not seeing for myself what law enforcement has to deal with.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Abortion and Excommunication

Last week, it was revealed that a nun, Sr. Margaret McBride, who is was a hospital administrator at St. Joseph's Hospital in Phoenix had allowed an abortion. According to the Catholic News Agency, the woman was 11-weeks pregnant and suffering from pulmonary hypertension that could possible be fatal. The Diocese of Phoenix announced that by assisting someone to get an abortion Sr. McBride automatically excommunicated herself and that she had since been reassigned from her position.

I'm not going to pretend to know the details of what when on behind the scenes, the woman's actual medical condition or the Catholic identity of St. Joseph's hospital. I do know that the basic story--that a nun was excommunicated for helping obtain an abortion for a woman who's pregnancy was going to kill her--has sparked controversy. As I said, I do not know if that is the full story or not. I don't know if the child could have been carried to a viable state and lived or not but that is the way the story is out there so that's the way I'm going to address it.

One of my Facebook friends addressed it that way and it caused anger and attacks against the church as well as discussion. I've never taken any moral theology classes but I've read enough that I know that the church does not allow direct abortions ever--even when life of the mother is at stake. It does allow what is called "in-direct abortions" which are medical procedures that are necessary and cannot wait until the end of the pregnancy that may cause the death of the child but where that is not the intended result. I explained to my friend, right from the Catechism of the Catholic Church where it states that abortion is always a moral evil and to assist in abortion will result in automatic excommunication. I also explained that excommunication is not permanent nor is it done so lightly. It's done to express to the person that the crime they have committed has be so grievous and to encourage them to reconcile with the Church. It doesn't necessarily mean that person is going to Hell and in fact that no one can say that another is going to Hell--only God can do that.

On the other hand, the incident sparked controversy and scandal because of the very act--a nun allowed an abortion--and intrinsic evil--to occur at a Catholic hospital. It's all black and white and simply not allowed. It is very easy to condemn the nun for her actions.

The situation raises two dilemmas for me. The first, in dealing with my Facebook friends, who for the most part aren't just not Catholic but not really religious either. They, as well as many other Americans who are against abortion on demand, believe that abortion is okay in cases of rape, incest or to save the life of the mother. It was difficult to explain the situation from a purely pro-life point of view. Sure, I could more easily defend why it abortion is wrong in case of rape or incest (the baby is an innocent victim also) and even why it's wrong in order to save the life of the mother (point them in the direction of St Gianna-a modern day saint who died shortly after giving birth her her child instead of aborting it.)

But this case is more difficult--what about when both the mother and child where going to die and an abortion would save one of them. For my Facebook friends, it seemed like a no-brainer. You save the life of at least one of them. From the purely theological aspect--the abortion would still be wrong. I asked myself, "What if I was in that position and had to make that decision purely on my own in order to save the life of my wife?" Would I choose the Abby's life over that of my unborn child? I think I would--especially if not doing so would kill them both. I think that if I was at a Catholic hospital, I would get her to a hospital that would do it somehow. Even if it meant condemning myself? Yeah, I think I would jump on that theological grenade in order to save my wife's life. I'm not saying it would be an easy decision but I think that would be the one I would make.

The second thing that bothers me is what seems to be the automatic condemnation of Sr. McBride by many in the pro-life community. I don't think you should judge anyone and most definitely not when you don't know the person or what they went through in order to make that decision. And most certainly not when that person is in need for our prayers instead of our condemnation. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand the Bishop's statement and the reassignment. Abortion is evil and wrong. I would like to think that it was a most difficult decision for Sr. McBride to come to and to allow. Unfortunately, I think Sr. McBride's statement that she believed the statement was "a morally good and allowable act according to church teaching" disproves this theory and was ultimately her downfall.

In the end though, I think, instead of condemning anyone, we should pray for everyone involved. The mother, the child, the family and for Sr. McBride.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Fear of God

Last night during night prayers, , I happened on verse that kind of caught my eye. It's from the 111th Psalm and says, "To fear the Lord is the first stage of wisdom; all who do so prove themselves wise." Fearing the Lord? Do we do that anymore? I mean, "fear of the Lord" is SO pre-Vatican II when we seemed to be look at God through the eyes of the Old Testament--vengeful, angry . . . wrathful. Doesn't the Psalter know that this is 2010 and being afraid of God was taken out of the church in the 1960's? Why are we still praying this psalm. Now we see God as some sort of weak hippie, sitting around and singing "Kum-by-ya" and pondering the mysteries of the universe.

Don't we? Maybe we don't. Here is the deal. God didn't change forty years ago. Our way of looking at Him may have though. I'm not saying that is a bad thing. It isn't right to see God only as being angry and vengeful. God is love. He is merciful. He is abba-father. He is the one that is always there for us and will never leave us. He doesn't want us to serve him out of fear. He gave us free-will so that our love is given to him freely just as his love is given to us freely.

So what is all this "to fear the Lord is the first stage of wisdom" stuff? Well, I'm certainly not wise. I'm obviously no Thomas Aquinas. I'm no great theologian so take this with a grain of salt. It seems to me that it is good to have a healthy fear of God. After all--everything that we have is given to us from God. Everything we own. Every breath we take. Every beat of our heart. They are all gifts from God and could be taken away from us at his whim. But a God of mercy wouldn't do that, right?

Why be afraid of God? I think we should be afraid of God giving us what we ask. When we sin, we choose to remove God from our lives. As I said before, God wants us to love him freely so He allows us to sin. The more we sin the further removed we are from God. Our fear should be in being without God. We need God in our lives. All of the joy in our life comes from him and the thought of not having God around should share the crud out of us. Life without God is literally Hell.

So fear of God is good. Fear of the fact that he will allow us to go away from him but he will never push us away as long as we want to come back. God IS love. God IS mercy. God gave himself up to die on a cross so that we can be with him. We are able to be reconciled with him in the sacrament of confession. For that we should rejoice and be glad.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

CrossFit and Prayer is the Prescription

I do a horrible job at taking care of myself--both physically and spiritually. This isn't a new thing. I've been this way for all of my life. I don't really have anyone to blame for it except myself. I suppose that if I think about it, one of my major vices is sloth. Here I am, approaching middle age and finally starting to attempt to get over my laziness and treat my body and soul as God wants me to treat it.

I've never really been the physically active type of person. I would say that the only time that I've ever really been in shape is after Marine Corps boot camp and the police academy. Two places where I HAD to be physically active. But left to my own devices, I'd rather sit on the couch than go for a run. If I had a choice, I would rather get an extra value meal from McDonald's than to cook. Because of this, I am a physical mess. I'm overweight and out of shape. Which is sad because, I have a good foundation. I am relatively healthy. My heart isn't diseased as far as I can tell and I've never had any major injuries. I have no excuse for my physical condition except for the fact that I'm lazy.

As far as spiritually, there is no doubt I've abused my soul over the last four decades. I went nearly 30 years going to church sporadically at best. It's only been the last seven years ago that I could even say that that I was a weekly mass attendee. It was much easier to stay at home on the weekends than go to church. It was much easier to do what I wanted to instead of what God wanted me to do. Because of this, I am a spiritual mess. I'm a slave to sin, facing all types of temptations and seeming to fail more often than I succeed. Which is sad, because--like my physical body--my soul has a good foundation. Down deep, I am a good person. I know the right things to do. My soul just succumbs to the desires of the flesh causing me to sin instead of living a virtuous life.

I am happy to say that a year shy of turning forty, I have seen the light and think I'm turning the curve in my desires to become physically and spiritually fit.

I was asked to be part of the test group for CrossFit at the police department. For twelve weeks, myself and eleven other "ambassadors" would go to the academy and go through tortuous workouts. Week by week, I started to see improvements though. I could tell I was doing better on the workouts--able to run further and lift more weights. At the end of the program, I had lost weight and inches and transformed some weight to muscle. My clothes fit better and I felt better about myself. I'm eating better and I feel myself becoming healthier every week.

I've been working on my spirtual sense longer and I am seeing strides there also. Sunday mass isn't a chore but a necessity. Confession isn't a task and instead of dreading it I look forward to it. My prayer life still stinks, but I can tell when I've been saying my prayers regularly as opposed when I've gone awhile without. When I'm not praying regularly, tempations seem much stronger and it seems easier to sin. When I do pray regularly, the temptations aren't as strong and it's easier to live a virtuous life. I feel myself becoming closer and opening up to God bit by bit.

It's not easy and while I can see progress I'm still not happy with where I'm at. Yes, I've toned up and lost weight but I recognize that I'm still overweight and still have awhile to go in order to be physically fit. I realize that it's not going to be easy because the weights are only going to get heavier.

Yes, I'm attending the sacraments regularly and trying to pray regularly but I recognize that I'm still a slave to sin and still have awhile to go in order to be spirtually mature. I also realize that the closer I get to God the more Satan is going to attack me and the crosses are only going to get heavier.

I have a good support system in place though. I have some amazing CrossFit trainers there to encourage me, to push me along and offer me any assistance that I need. There are also amazing CrossFitters at the gym that sweat along with me and offer words as encouragement as they do the workout with me. I couldn't be where I am today without them. I also have amazing spiritual "trainers" such as my spiritual director, my parish priest and others to offer me guidance. I have the sacraments to give me God's grace. I have other Christians who are going through the same things I am, lifting me up and encouraging me along.

It's good to know how far we've come and to know how far we have to go. I know I've made grounds physically as well as spiritually. I also know I have a ways to go. Now, I have to get off my butt and do it.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Pure Manhood by Jason Evert

I've heard of Jason Evert for year. Jason is a---wait for it--a "chastity speaker." Wait, wait, wait--don't leave yet! He really knows how to speak to kids in a way that reaches them and makes them listen and not tune out the message. I've taught from his book "Theology of the Body for Teens" and I had the opportunity to see him and his wife, Crystalina, speak last November at NCYC here in Kansas City. It was an amazing sight to see, 20,000 kids listening intently to two speakers tell them why they should go against the cultural norm when it comes to sex.

So, a couple months later, I had an opportunity to pick up one of Jason's books, "Pure Manhood." I use the term "book" loosely because it could really be called a long pamphlet. It's only about 3 inches wide by six inches tall and is only about fifty pages long. It may be small but it really packs a wallop. In short little pieces, it covers a variety of sexual topics in question and answer form. The questions range from:
  • What do girls want
  • If she's willing to do it, why is it wrong
  • How are you supposed to keep your mind pure
  • What's wrong with porn. You aren't hurting anyone
  • What about masterbation
  • What about safe sex
  • How do you know if God wants you to be a priest
  • How do you stay pure (gives ten suggestions)
Now that I think about it, I wouldn't call it a pamphlet. I would call it a "primer book." It covers so many topics and gives simple concise answers that hopefully it will spark someone's interest and want to seek out more knowledge and possibly change their life around.

As I was reading "Pure Manhood," I kept thinking, "This will be a good book for my son Max in a couple of years when he hits puberty. Then I realized, heck--this is a good book for me as a simple reminder not only so I can speak to others about being pure but when I am facing my own purity challenges.

I think this book would be an excellent book to purchase for your son or any young man. Perhaps you can give it as a confirmation present. Perhaps you can use it to spark an intelligent discussion between you and your son---maybe you and your husband. But girls, don't feel left out. Jason's wife, Crystilina, wrote a female version, "Pure Womanhood."

This review was written as part of the Catholic book Reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Pure Manhood.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Vote for Me!!

As I mentioned earlier this week, Roman Catholic Cop has been nominated for Best Spiritual Treat in the 2010 Cannonball Catholic blog awards over at The Crescat. Polling is now open and I'm taking the lead of my friends at Defend Us in Battle and start politicking and asking people to vote for me. (Defend Us in Battle are themselves are nominated for the "Best New Kid on the Block" and "Best Under Appreciated blog" categories so go to their site for the link to vote for them.)

So, click here to go directly to the poll to vote for me. I'm not saying that it will help you get to Heaven or that a vote for me is pleasing to God----but then I'm not saying that it's not. So why take your chances and vote for Roman Catholic Cop!

Jesus' Last Lecture

In 2007, Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon Univeristy, gave a talk to his students. Prof Pausch was dying of pancreatic cancer and in fact, it would take his life in July, 2008. So, he stepped in front of his students and gave a talk called, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams." It would be his "Last Lecture" but it didn't focus on dying as much as it focused on how to live. Prof Pausch's lecture was later turned into a book. It makes me wonder what would Jesus tell us in his "last lecture?" He, like Prof Pausch, knew that he was going to die also. He had that last moment with his apostles. So what did he say?

Jesus' last lecture is better known to us as the Last Supper and what a night it was. If you recall, this is when Jesus instituted the Eucharist--"This is my body" and "this is my blood." He washed the feet of his disciples. He predicted his death and predicted Peter's denial. He reveals himself telling the disciples that he is the "way, the truth, and the life" and that no one goes to the Father except through him. He gets theologically deep telling them that the father and him are one.

Finally, we get to the gospel reading for the this weekend--the sixth weekend of Easter--and Jesus finishes off his last lecture. He gives us some golden nuggets of revelation. They are bite sized statements but they are so theologically deep each one can keep you pondering for a bit. They are so simple but they seem to blow your mind away.

He tells us that whoever loves him will keep his word and the father and him will dwell with them. But whoever does not keep his word does not love him.

He tells us that the Father will send the Holy Spirit to teach us and to remind us of everything that Jesus taught us.

He gives us his peace and tells us that the world cannot give us peace as he does.

He tells us not to let our hearts be troubled or afraid.

He tells us that he is returning to the Father and that if we loved him we would rejoice at his returning because the Father is so great.

He then points out that he is predicting what is going to happen to him so that we might all believe.

Now, how can I possibly blog on that!? There is so much compacted into this "last lecture" yet so simple that a person could write an essay on each tidbit. Maybe we just need to be reminded that here, here are some items to meditate on. Here are some quick things to always remember--to heed what God tells us, that the Holy Spirit is here to guide us, that Christ's peace is better than anything the world can give us, don't be troubled, and when our loved ones pass we should rejoice because they are going someplace greater than where we are.

Maybe, if we are trying to get closer to God, we can take each one of those short, theologically deep subjects and meditate on one. There seems to be one for wherever we are in our lives. I wonder, if after hearing Jesus' last lecture, if the apostles say there as dumbfounded as I am?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Simply Catholic

A nice video I found at Aggie Catholics. It's made by Spirit Juice Studios.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

You Like Me! You REALLY Like Me!

When I first started Roman Catholic Cop a little over a year and a half ago it was for two reasons. The first was to help me learn more about my faith and for it to serve as a form of prayer for me. I figured that a by product of writing about my faith would be that I would learn more about it. It would also be a form of meditation because by sitting thinking about what I was going to blog I would in essence, be asking for the Holy Spirit's guidance and then putting what I felt He was telling me down on paper. The second reason was to share and explain my faith with others. Over the years, I've gotten into heated debates with others on different forums about my faith (the internet is serious business you know) and I felt that a blog would be someplace that I could tell people about my faith instead of having to re-write the same explanation every time I would have a "discussion."

One thing that I've had to remind myself sometimes though is that my blog IS for me and is for me to get closer to God. A by-product is that others can use it to get closer to God also. It's made more difficult because I have a stat counter on the website so I can see how many people come to my site every day and where they are from. It's neat to see that someone from the Philippines or England is reading what you wrote. It's neat to see that someone new is "following" you. I've done well though. I've been excited when the blog has gotten a lot of hits some days and but I don't get upset when it gets below it's average.

Obviously, even though I try to keep it for me and keep it applicable to me it is exciting when I can see the Holy Spirit working through me and reaching other people. It's nice when others tell me they enjoy reading my writings. I understand that my good posts are when He works through me and the bad ones are all mine. I can stay humble--I AM after all, one of the most humble people I know. :-)

It was nice last week when I received a "tweet" from @DanielleBean telling me congratulations for being nominated in the "Best Spiritual Treat" in the 2010 Cannonball Catholic Blog Awards. And then last night, I got an email telling me that Roman Catholic Cop was selected one of the top fifty Catholic blogs by Online Christian Colleges blog.

It's quite the honor to know that other people enjoy reading my blog. Like I said, if my writing reaches you it's the Holy Spirit working through me. He has shown this to me because several times I've written things that seemed easy to write and many people enjoyed and other times the I've worked hard on a blog and it didn't seem to reach anyone. Thank-you all for encouraging me.

Monday, May 3, 2010

A Special Picture

My friend Heather sent me this picture from confirmation at Holy Family in January 2010. It's Bishop Finn giving me the Blessed Sacrament.

How to Please Your Husband

Have you ever been standing in line at the grocery store, checking out the fronts of the magazines and notice the headlines are always the same, "Monkey Boy Escapes Government Enclosure" or "Oprah Loses Weight" or "Oprah Gains Weight" or "Sexiest Man Alive." Then you see the women's magazines such as Cosmopolitan that read, "How to Make Your Man Happy" or "What He Wants In Bed." Well, as a man who has been known to be sarcastic, I've always answered these in my head when I read them in a sarcastic and simplistic thought process. "How to make your man happy?" Give him sex! "What he wants in bed?" A naked woman. Not really too difficult to figure out, huh? Very simplistic I know, but then I tend to have a smart alec comment for everything. I am smart enough to realize that sex and naked women isn't the path to happiness, despite how much some men try. How DO you please your husband? Well, as a husband, I think I can answer that. Here are some tips and advice on how to make your husband happy---of course they all things that my wife does.

  • Compliment him--tell him he looks good, tell him he looks handsome, tell him he's lost weight. Have you ever noticed that if you tell a guy he looks good in something he will probably wear it again?
  • Don't nag--this doesn't mean don't tell him what you would like for him to do, such as repairs, cleaning, picking-up around the house etc etc. Just don't bombard him with it. If you have to nitpick, there is a time/place for everything and the time/place probably isn't right after you have nitpicked about something else. Why shouldn't you nag?? Because a guy only has a certain threshold for nagging and then his hearing just shuts down.
  • Talk to him like he's an adult and not your child. I know you may be thinking--"he certainly acts like my child." Well, he may act like a kid, he is a male after all, but he isn't. He's your husband. Treat him like he's your husband. Ask him to do things and don't demand it. Don't raise your voice automatically.
  • Don't ask him to do things while he's doing something else and expect it to be done right away or that he will remember. When he's sitting down on a Sunday afternoon to watch the game is not the time to ask him to clean the toilets. Don't ask him to do something in three days and expect him to remember to do it! Ask him when he has time to do it, has a clear mind, and is able to do it right then.
  • Touch him--hold his hand, hug him, cuddle with him.
  • Don't complain about him to your friends/co-workers--this is your husband, remember in the Bible it talks about "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." Respect your husband enough not to relegate him to idle chit-chat around the water cooler at work. This isn't to say that you can't talk to other people about them if you are having difficulties and need to vent
  • Don't constantly make him the butt of your jokes--I hate sitcoms where the husband is always made out to be a buffoon or an idiot. Sure, you can joke around but he shouldn't have to constantly suffer people laughing at him.
  • Initiate things--sex is a wonderful and beautiful thing and nothing make a guy feel wanted and loved than when his spouse initiates the "marital embrace."
  • Tell him that you love him--every day, every chance you get. There should be no doubt. This is a crazy, crazy world and you never know what may happen. You don't want a tragic incident to occur and to have the thought haunting you that you failed to let them know you loved them.
  • Thank him for the things that he does do. It's easy to do. It's only two syllables. "Thank-you." Make him feel appreciated.

I realize that not all of these tips are applicable for everyone. Some guys don't like the physical contact and hugging. Some guys won't do anything unless they are nagged. Sometimes he does stuff that if you don't complain about him you are going to explode. But overall, they are easy thing to do. Nice simple steps because guys are simple creatures. And maybe they will learn by example and return the favor.