As Abby's husband, one of my main purposes in my vocation is to help her get to Heaven. One of her responsibilities is to help me to get to Heaven. It goes beyond that though. I have a responsibility to help my children get there, as well as family members and friends. Heck, as members of the Body of Christ, we all have the responsibility of helping each other reach eternity with God.
I believe that my two biggest tasks in life are to do everything I can to help my spouse and my children to Heaven. I could be a great evangelist writing books and giving speeches and bringing thousands to God and to the faith but if I fail to get my wife and kids to Heaven then my mission on Earth has failed. Side note: I should change that--there is someone else I need to get to Heaven. I can't fail to get get myself there either.
There are two realities that I am aware of. The first is that there is NOTHING I can do to in order to get people to Heaven. That is only done because of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus-the ultimate sacrifice that He made on Calvary. I can only hope that God gives me the grace and allows me to guide people to Him.
The second reality is that Abby and the kids each have free will given to them by God. They can do whatever they choose. Again, I can only hope that God gives me the grace and allows me to guide them to Him. And more importantly, that I do not become an OBSTACLE in them finding Jesus.
I understand that life happens. That kids grow up in ways that aren't pleasing to us. Perhaps they do something that you might consider "scandalous." The bottom line though, is that you must ALWAYS let them know that they are loved. They should always know that they can come home to you. We should be models of the father of the prodigal son, who is, of course, a model of our Father in Heaven.
God is always there for us. He is just waiting for us to return to him. We may be frustrated at our kids when they are not acting the way we want them to. Perhaps they just aren't going to mass regularly. Maybe they have left the church. Perhaps they have slipped into criminal activity. There are many reasons we may not be happy with the way they turned out.
The thing we must not do, and this is whether it's a spouse, a child or someone off the street, is to some how take our faith and make it into an obstacle that will keep them away from God. We must be honest with them, yes. We can let them know we are not happy with their behavior or we can show them the error of our ways. But we cannot be so full of pride and anger that they do not feel they can return to us for love and support. If we use our own faith to create an obstacle we will place that obstacle in the way of them and God, and God doesn't want that.
Do you have a loved one who has fallen from the faith?? Look inside of yourself. Did you have something to do with that. Have you created obstacles for them to come home to you and to God. When is the last time you have tried to reach out to them. Do you need to apologize to them? What can you do to help lead your loved one to God?