I am a pain in the rear. I'll admit it. I would hate to be my mom, my sister, my wife, my kids or my friend. I tend to put them all on a pedestal. The problem is when you put someone on a pedestal you start to expect a lot from them. And then when they aren't what you expect from them you become frustrated. You wonder to yourself how they could have messed up. You wonder how they could have let you down.
Yeah, I realize they are human. I know they have faults. I realize they are human. But I still tend to ponder why they didn't say what you needed to hear, do what I wanted them to do, call when I need them to call or be there when I needed them to be there. They know me so well and I'm so easy to please, why couldn't they do that? (Right now, my mom, my sister, my wife, kids and friends are laughing out loud) After all, I only expect perfection out of them and expect them to do whatever makes me happy. Alas, as I've been told, "It's not all about me."
Here is how much of an idiot I am. I've gotten so frustrates lately and God hit me with a 2x4 in prayer one night. He made me realize that only one person is there for me whenever I want them to be. Only one person is ready to hear my problems whenever I want to vent on them. Only one person can give me the love that I truly strive for. And I keep turning away from Him. Yeah. Only God can fill that perfect relationship that I am searching for in life and I keep turning Him down.
You see, just as I ask too much of my friends, spouse, kids, mom and sister, He asks too much of me. Just like I'm looking for perfection out of them, He is asking for perfection out of me and I'm just not really sure I want to give Him what He is asking for. Why? Well, frankly because it scares the tar out of me. I can't do that. I can't be perfect and more importantly--I can't do whatever I want.
In reality though, He doesn't ask too much. If I step back and realize that everything I have is a gift from him then I should offer Him everything I have in return. If I realize that he wants perfection from me so that I can be closer to Him then I should strive for it too. If I realize that he is inviting me to make these sacrifices so He can work through me so that I can draw my mother, my sister, my wife, my kids and my friends to Him then I should be anything and everything I can to be what He wants me to be.
Yeah, the closest people in my life are not perfect. But neither am I. Through it all, I know that Jesus is right next to me, helping me to succeed, helping to pull me up and being the friend that I strive to be.
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