Nineteen years ago, Abby and I were married at the Platte County Courthouse. (We had our marriage blessed by the church several years later so it IS indeed valid) Two years ago, I wrote a post titled "Happy Anniversary, Mrs. McAdams" in which I compared our marriage like two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly even though they appear opposite. Well, I have to say that in these two years, I have certainly done my best to mess up that puzzle.
You see, I had gotten my priorities messed up for awhile. I had placed a friendship ahead of my marriage and allowed it to consume my time and energy and neglected my family. I treasured this friendship and thought it was the friendship I had always wanted. Interestingly enough--I've always said that Abby wasn't my best friend like a lot of husbands and wives say about their spouse because, in my mind, a spouse was much, much more than just a friend. Yet, here I was---allowing this friendship to take priority. It took a swift kick in the back side by Abby and a lot of pain to walk away from this friendship, but it had to be done.
Today, I think our marriage is stronger than ever. We spend a ton of time together and enjoy every moment. We make our children shudder in disgust at our intimacy and I've never been happier. I went through a dark, dark time where I feel like I turned away from God and away from my family for a friendship. I cannot tell you the embarrassment and the shame I feel for acting like such a fool. I know that it is because of the grace of God, many prayers, Abby's love for me and that swift kick in the butt that we are as happy as we are today.
I've learned a lot in the last two years. I've learned that you always need to keep your priorities in order----God and family come before anything else. If you keep your priorities in check then happiness will follow. I've learned that friendships don't have to consume your time. I've learned that the friends I do have will be there when I need them and will lean on me when they need help. But they won't consume you. I've learned that true friends will always support you and lead you towards God. I am blessed for the true friends I have.
Abby, I'm sorry for allowing anyone to come between me and you. You may have better butt kicking skills--but I STILL love you more.
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