Roman Catholic Cop

My One Thing--Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time

2012-02-14T06:08:00.001-06:00

Again, I've been slacking posting my ONE thing that I took from mass, so, I'll add what I have from the last couple of weeks. Alas--for the 3rd Sunday in Ordinary time I didn't write anything down. And I went to mass TWICE that weekend!! Slacker I know

6th Sunday in Ordinary Time @ St Andrew the Apostle by Fr. Rogers: "What leprosy does to the body, so sin does to the soul."

5th Sunday in Ordinary Time @ Holy Family by Fr. Matthew: "We all need people in our lives to comfort us and to challenge us."

Aunt Joy's Funeral at St Peter the Apostle in Joplin, MO by Fr. Jay: "We should live life right up to the edge but to be careful not to go over."

2nd Sunday of Ordinary Time, 5:00 Saturday Evening mass at Holy Family: "We are running out of time so the time for change is now--the time for grace is now."

Epiphany--6:30 Sunday evening mass at St. Andrew's the Apostle: "If we are truly living out our Catholic identity then we should expect to be a little weird."

Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, 5:00 Saturday Evening mass at Holy Family: "God calls us to peace in the midst of chaos."

My One Thing---Special Funeral Edition

2012-01-26T09:33:00.001-06:00

In Matthew Kelly's talk, "The Seven Pillars of Catholic Spirituality" he suggests taking ONE thing from father's homily on Sunday and to write it down in a journal. He says after one year of going to mass you will have an amazing guide to spirtuality.

Every week, I'm going to add the ONE thing I learned from that Sunday's mass. What ONE thing did you hear this week end.

I've been slacking the last couple of weeks. I already forgot my ONE thing from the first week of ordanry time but here is my one thing from last Sunday plus a special one from my Aunt Joy's funeral yesterday:

Aunt Joy's Funeral at St Peter the Apostle in Joplin, MO by Fr. Jay: "We should live life right up to the edge but to be careful not to go over."

2nd Sunday of Ordinary Time, 5:00 Saturday Evening mass at Holy Family: "We are running out of time so the time for change is now--the time for grace is now."

Epiphany--6:30 Sunday evening mass at St. Andrew's the Apostle: "If we are truly living out our Catholic identity then we should expect to be a little weird."

Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, 5:00 Saturday Evening mass at Holy Family: "God calls us to peace in the midst of chaos."

Santo Subito, Aunt Joy

2012-01-24T09:06:00.000-06:00

I'm leaving town for Joplin today to attend the funeral of my Aunt Joy who passed away on Friday night at 70 years old. And then I'm driving across the state to Tarkio for the burial on Thursday. For a great piece on my Aunt Joy read my sisters post, "Rest In Peace, Aunt Joy." I have to admit, that I have some mixed emotions about the upcoming days.

I'm very sad for my Uncle Alan who has lost his spouse--the love of his life and soul mate. I'm sad for my cousins who have lost their mom and grandma. I can't imagine losing my mom and I've realized over the last couple of weeks how fortunate I am that my mom had me when she was so young. Yeah, I know it sucked for her being 18 years old and having a baby but I'm blessed because I will grow old still having my mom in my life.

I'm sad because I will miss Aunt Joy. She was a truly amazing woman. She was funny, wacky, loving and holy woman. She is one of those people that was a window for us to see Jesus through. She was someone we should model our lives by.

I'm sad because it's a passing of time and I'm losing another part of my childhood. All of my aunts and uncles were a great part of my childhood. They all had impacts on me. I have so many memories of all of them and it saddens me to lose these memories.

I have to admit though, Joy's passing also brings a sense of happiness and---well, a sense of joy to me, if you'll excuse the pun.

First of all, and I'll admit it---I get excited for funerals because the McAdams family does funerals right. We makes funerals a true celebration of life. Yeah, there will be a lot of tears shed over the next few days but I know there will be a lot of laughs too. Funerals are like unexpected family reunions for us and our family reunions are a sight to behold. Granted, we won't be able to sit around the camp fire drinking beer (although my daughter did point out that my mom has a fire pit in her back yard) but we will still have lots of bonding opportunities.

I'm happy because Aunt Joy has ended her pilgrimage and face to face with God now. I'll be honest with you, I don't say this lightly. I'm not one of these people who go to funerals and flippantly say that the dearly departed is now in Heaven. Yeah, we have hope that they are on their way but let's pray for their souls so that they are released from purgatory soon. Certainly, when I die---don't assume I'm in Heaven. Pray for me!!! In fact, I want that etched on my tombstone--"PRAY FOR ME!" I'm pretty sure I'll make it to Heaven eventually, but I may be turning off the lights in purgatory. But Aunt Joy, if she had to spend any time in purgatory, it was for a light dusting not the full blown purification that I will need.

Finally, and this is me being selfish again. Aunt Joy was my son Max's Godmother. He asked the morning after she died--a couple of weeks after seeing his sister, Emma, being confirmed with her Godmother at her side as her sponser, "Does this mean I can't be confirmed??" I told him later on, "Max, this just means that your Godmother is in heaven praying for you." Yeah, I'm happy because I can go to Aunt Joy and ask for her intercessions. I have someone in Heaven praying for Max---and both Max and I need lots of prayers, I tell you what.

Sadness and happiness. Happiness and Sadness. It will be an emotional roller coaster week for me and my family. So, please pray for us. And I'm sure that Joy doesn't need our prayers but she was a humble woman and I'm sure she would be aghast if I was telling people she doesn't need our prayers so please, remember Aunt Joy in your prayers tonight.

My One Thing

2012-01-09T05:25:00.000-06:00

An Absence of Love

2012-01-09T05:11:00.000-06:00

Every once in a while, one of my kids will come up to me because they are having a bad day. Something has gone wrong in their day and they and are in need of daddy cuddles. [Which have been proven in studies to be better than mommy cuddles] So, we'll snuggle up and watch some television and after awhile they feel better. I have to admit that sometimes I feel the same way. I'll be in the dog house with the wife. I feel like I'm up against the world at work. None of my friends will return my texts. I'm just feeling unloved. My wife calls it a "pity party."

Call it a pity party. Call it feeling sorry for yourself. Call it whatever you will. I think we all feel unloved at some point or another. It may be accurate but it's a feeling none the less. We see it all around us. Everyone is looking for love. They are looking for happiness in one thing or another. In my job, I see a cross section of society and I see people doing it all wrong. On a Friday or Saturday night, I see men and women in my city's entertainment district out looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right--or at the very least Mr. or Mrs. Right Now. I go on calls and see people looking for happiness in a crack pipe or a bottle of gin. I see guys and gals looking for happiness by selling themselves on the street corner. I see the business man looking for happiness by going to the seedy hotel and picking up a prostitute and getting crack. I see it in my fellow officers who work second jobs so they can afford a bigger house or a boat. Or the officers who are putting their spouse and children through divorce because of their search for happiness and love.

It doesn't take a lot of common sense to realize that love and happiness doesn't come in getting high or drunk. It doesn't come is hooking up for a night or paying for a good time. It doesn't come in material things. And it certainly doesn't come in abandoning your family for someone who you think will give you a better life.

No. Love and happiness only comes from one place. Pope John Paul II said it best when he said at World Youth Day, "It is Jesus you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you.... It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be grounded down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humble and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal."

Yeah--It's Jesus we seek when we are seeking happiness. Nothing else will make us truly happy. St. Augustine said, "My heart is restless until it rests in you." Stop looking. He is right there waiting on you. Find a quiet place today and pray. Listen for Him. If you can't find him? Keep praying. He's there. The only time we are really truly absent from love is when we are absent from God. The only way that is going to happen is when we've turned away from Him. So turn around and go back to Him. Feel His love burning inside of you. It was there all along.

Mary, Mother of God--and Teenager?

2011-12-30T05:08:00.000-06:00

As Catholics we have a strong devotion to Mary. We believe that she was an amazing woman. As the mother of Jesus--who is God--she is in turn the "Mother of God." And as adopted brothers and sisters of Jesus, she is also our mother.

God must have also thought that Mary was an amazing woman. Of all the women in the world over the centuries, He gave Mary the task of being the mother of Jesus. I'm not sure we really appreciate what an amazing woman she must have been. I was sitting contemplating Mary and wondering that. What was Mary like? Loving? Compassionate? Funny? But I know lots of people like that. Why was she so special? We are taught she was without sin. That had to be interesting right? But . . . why Mary? And then I started to think.

I have been a catechist for teenagers for over ten years now. I've helped teach hundreds of teens and I really enjoy it. I also have a daughter who is a sophomore and a niece who is a junior in high school. This all means that I have been around a whole lot of teens in my life. Have you ever walked around a high school filled with a bunch of teens?? I think they can be compared to aliens. They are a unique bunch. Remember the bus scenes in great teen age like "Sixteen Candles" or "Ferris Bueler's Day Off." Teen agers are goofy! I love being involved in youth ministry. I love teaching teens. But. . . they are goofy. Maybe that's why I enjoy it because I'm pretty goofy myself.

Now think of this. Bible scholars think Mary was about 15 or 16 years old when she gave birth to Jesus. Mary was the same age as my daughter. Now I love my daughter. I'm not biased at all and I feel it's safe to say that my daughter, Emma, is one of the smartest, prettiest girls, funniest girls alive on the face of the Earth. I trust her to babysit. But to be made the Mother of God? Oh heck no! No way, I would trust her to hold God in her arms and to raise Him. It would seems like some sort of weird sit-com. And that's my daughter, who I love and adore and think the world of.

But two thousand years ago, a little girl, the same age as Emma, was picked by God to be the God Bearer. She was asked to bring God incarnate into the world. And to raise Him. To feed him. To change His diapers. To teach Him. This scared little girl--was asked to flee into another land in order to keep her son safe. And chose to do so. She chose to stay by His side when His friends didn't. She was at the foot of the cross when her son was persecuted and died.

It was through Mary that Jesus entered the world. Jesus entered the world through Mary and He saved us. Yeah. She must have been an amazing woman. I wish I had a devotion to Mary. I wished I honored her like I should. What about you? Do you have a devotion to her?

Well Done, Good Job

2011-12-29T04:11:00.001-06:00

I just read a report of two officers who, while on routine patrol, observed a guy breaking into a car. They pulled him out of the car and then located the owner who was grateful that nothing had been taken. There have been a lot of car break-ins in this part of town and I'm sure that not only did the officers prevent this car owner from being a victim but they probably prevented several other people from being victims. I thought the officers did a great job so I wrote them up for a "Supervisory Notice." It's nothing big. It's just a piece of paper from a supervisor that goes into their personnel jacket. It's not like they are getting a medal or a certificate or anything like that.

I really don't know who will appreciate the Supervisory Notice more--the officers or me. It was really nice to give the officers a pat on the back---an atta boy. Sometimes, I feel as a supervisor that I spend too much time being negative, despite my best efforts to be positive. It gets tiresome to be critical of someone because they aren't doing what they are supposed to be doing or not working hard enough. It's much more fun to be complimentary.

I have to wonder if that is what God feels like when we do what is right and pleasing to Him. When we DON'T sin. I wonder if he feels the joy and adulation that I do when I see my people working hard and making good arrests.

I can see several parallels. For instance, I can see how it is easier to sin and not to be pleasing to God. After all, it's easy to sin. Sin is fun. Many times there doesn't seem be any punishment for not sinning. It's difficult to see the rewards.

In the same way, I can see how it's easier not to work hard. Officers who work hard are more likely to get hurt and more likely to get complained on. You are less likely to get in trouble if you just do the minimum. You don't get paid more for working hard. It's difficult to see any rewards.

I think in both circumstances, you have go beyond physical rewards and punishments. In order for us to want to be pleasing to God and in order for us NOT to want to sin we have to have a lot of faith. We have to develop a relationship with God and break the chains of sin. In order for us to want to be good workers and develop a nature of working hard, we have to take pride in what we do for a living. We have to enjoy what we do and really see the big picture.

I know for me, I like to get atta-boys. I like it when people acknowledge that I've done a good job. But, lets face it--no award or certificate is going to compare to hearing the words from my Father, "well done, my good and faithful servant."

Three Prongs for Confession

2011-12-28T02:43:00.001-06:00

Here's the deal. I'm just a guy in the pews. Most of what I know about Catholicism is self taught. I have no degrees in theology so everything I have learned has been from books, CD's or retreats for the most part. So, I'm no expert by any means. But, I think I'm right when I say the sacrament of reconciliation is fabulous and is too under used and unappreciated--in my little opinion. Furthermore, I think one of the reasons that it is under used is because Catholics don't understand it and they don't understand it because it's not taught like it should be in most parishes. I get frustrated because I know what it means and I know what it can do for a person. I have a passion for the sacrament of reconciliation. Yet, I see parishes that get more excited about a parking lot than they are about a reconciliation service.

I firmly believe that reconciliation should be used by everyone and used often. So, here is a three pronged plan on how to expand the use of confession.

Teach/Preach Sin--I don't think we really understand what sin is and what it does to our soul. I wouldn't be surprised if many people don't think the sin at all. I don't think that people know what mortal sin is and what it means to be in a state of mortal sin. I think if people knew that being in mortal sin means death and separation from God they would do whatever they need to do to get into a state of grace. But, to teach about sin is scary and we don't want to scare the kids. Preaching about life and death and the possibility of Hell seems to be frowned upon. There is a way to preach about sin and Hell and eternal damnation though, without preaching fire and brimstone. After all, through Jesus, we can break the chains of sin and escape the fires of Hell. But, if we aren't taught we don't know that. It is much more loving to teach truth and about sin and Hell than it is to cover it up so we don't know about it.
Teach/Preach Confession--I believe another reason people don't go to reconciliation is because they don't understand it. They think that they can just go to God in prayer and be forgiven for their sins. They don't understand that we are only fooling ourselves when we do that. Jesus gave us the sacrament because He understands that we are human and that we need to humble ourselves, and get our sins off our chests. It is through reconciliation that we are given the grace to not sin. People don't understand that we should go to confession at least once a year and definitely when we are in a state of mortal sin. I heard a story a while back of a youth minister who sent out emails reminding the teens that confirmation was soon and they should go to confession. She was contacted by a parent who told her that her teen had already gone to their first reconciliation. (The key word is "first"--which means there should be a second, and a third etc etc) We need to teach how to go to confession so that people will be more comfortable. Heck, just go to where I posted how to go right here. It should be preached to us in the homilies how important confession is.
Have reconciliation--I heard someone say once that if you are only offering confessions once a month then you are not really offering confession and I find that very true. If a parish only has a confessions once a month then I feel they are telling their parishoners that confession isn't that important. I have seen with my own eyes that parishes that offer confession often have lines to the confessional. Once a week is good but even more often than that is better. I think it would be fantastic if parishes would have daily confession like they have daily mass. I've seen lines to confession with people of all ages, young and old, men and women at parishes that have daily confession. I think daily confession is a blessing to any parish that has it.

I don't think these things would be very difficult to do. I think the most difficult thing to do is to change the mindset. No, every homily should not be fire and brimstone. Every class should not have confession shoved down their throats. And I understand that priests aren't able to always have daily confession. But let's start somewhere. We are to spread the Good News and part of that is to spread the word of God's mercy. We receive that mercy through reconciliation. We are supposed to be saving souls. We don't do that if we downplay sin and the need for confession.

So, any priest who is reading this---please--start somewhere. I'll start by offering my prayers.

My Faith and My Family

2011-12-26T05:14:00.003-06:00

Last week, my wife and I went out to dinner and to see a movie. It was our first date night in awhile. Sadly, I had almost ruined it by being a butthead earlier that morning. But we had a great time and later that night on Facebook I posted, "Great date night with my beautiful bride. I don't show my appreciation as much as I should. I love you, Abby. Im nothing without you. :-P."

I got a few favorable responses about it but I got a couple of smart alec comments from some guys. That probably shouldn't come as too much of a shock. After all, when you make as many smart alec comments as I do, you tend to invite them back towards you. Secondly, guys also tend to give other guys grief when they openly display affection. So calls of man-card revocation should be expected, especially after posting something like that on Facebook, huh?

I realize that comments like I made that are frowned upon in public displays. Some people may thing that telling my wife that I love her is something that should be reserved to quiet times between her and I, when we are alone. Abby is kind of shy, so she may actually agree with that statement. But I am one who tends to be open about what I like. I wear my identity on my chest. I have a ton of t-shirts with my favorite sports teams on them. I have another ton of shirts with "Police" on them and a half ton with "Catholic" slogans on them. If I can wear a Kansas City Royals shirt with pride, I can certainly feel comfortable telling my wife that I love her on Facebook, can't I?

Here is the problem. My faith and my family should be the most important things in my life. And they are. And it's easy to say I love God in a blog post or that "my wife is beautiful" in a Facebook status. But I do not always treat them like they are the most important things in my life. At the top of my list any time I go to confession is, "I've failed to keep God first in my life." I've also put less important things, such as work and friendship, as priorities over my responsibility of being a good husband and father.

This is dumb, I know. I am fully aware that God and my family will still stick with me when everyone else has abandoned me. I know that I can't be wrong if I always put God first and my wife and kids next. Granted, I have to leave home to go to work so that I can take care of my family. But there are too many times when I pull extra off duty shifts so I can buy me something I want or there have been times I haven't prayed so I can spend time with friends. Those are examples of putting myself in front of God and in front of family.

Priorites . . . will I ever have them in the right order? Nothing should come before God. My vocation is being a husband and a father. They should always come before work and friends.

How do you keep your priorities straight? Is there something you try to do every day? Do you have people to keep you in check? Will your wife smack you upside the head when you aren't spending time in prayer or paying attention to her? Or, ironically, do you have a friend that is a role model who keeps you straight?

A Manger Scene

2011-12-22T04:03:00.000-06:00

Every year about this time we start hearing about the "war on Christmas" and we complain about how commercialization is taking "Christ" out of Christmas. I read an interesting article over at Aggie Catholics and it made me think of about the real war that is occuring at Christmas time--spiritual warfare. In their post titled, "Christmas and the Drumbeat of War," they talk about:

When we view a nativity scene, we generally think of a baby born to a virgin in a manger. We think of peaceful animals, a humble St. Joseph, and of a bright star. But, something is missing.
It is the drumbeat of war. It is the spiritual battle that rages in places we cannot see with our eyes or hear with our ears. It rages in our hearts.
Even in the peaceful image of Jesus being born, we need to see God warning His people to prepare for war. The victorious king has entered the fray and he calls us to take up our weapon.

I encourage you to read more here.

I think even as Christians, who are trying to focus on Jesus, it is difficult to imagine what is going on . . . what we are trying to remember. We focus to much on the simple story of Mary giving birth to Jesus in a feedbox but something so much more than that is going on. We are remembering that the God of the universe. The God who created everything---from the tiniest atoms and molecules to the biggest galaxies--became man. God, who is everyone, became incarnate. He decided to humble Himself and became the created. He became that tiny baby in the manger.

When we think of "the shot heard around the world" we think of shots fired at Concord during the American Revolution or of Bobby Thompson's game winning home run that clinched the pennant for the 1951 New York Giants. But the ORIGINAL shot heard around the world was the birth of the Messiah in Bethlehem. Because it was through the birth of Jesus and his eventual sacrifice on Calvary that Satan loses the spiritual war. It rages on today as the Devil continues to try to ruin souls and it is up for us to pick the correct side and to take up arms against the Devil. As Marcel says in Aggie Catholics, "Pick up your cross - it is your weapon against the enemy - and follow The King of All into battle. He is about to be born as a poor babe to a virgin.

Working on Christmas Eve

2011-12-22T03:24:00.003-06:00

This was passed on to me from another sergeant in an email:

Working on Christmas Eve On Christmas Eve in 1977, I learned that blessings can come disguised as misfortune, and honor is more than just a word. I was riding one-man patrol on the 4-12 shift. The night was cold. Everywhere I looked I saw reminders of the holiday: families packing their cars with presents, beautifully decorated trees in living room windows and roofs adorned with tiny sleighs. It all added to my holiday funk.

The evening had been relatively quiet; there were calls for barking dogs and a residential false burglar alarm. There was nothing to make the night pass any quicker. I thought of my own family and sunk further into depression.

Shortly after 2200 hours I got a radio call to the home of an elderly, terminally ill man. I parked my patrol car in front of a simple Cape Cod style home. First aid kit in hand, I walked up the short path to the front door. As I approached, a woman who seemed to be about 80 years old opened the door. He's in here she said, leading me to a back bedroom.

We passed through a living room that was furnished in a style I had come to associate with older people. The sofa has an afghan blanket draped over its back and a dark, solid, Queen Anne chair sat next to an unused fireplace. The mantle was cluttered with an eccentric mix of several photos, some ceramic figurines and an antique clock. A floor lamp provided soft lighting.

We entered a small bedroom where a frail looking man lay in bed with a blanket pulled up to his chin. He wore a blank stare on his ashen, skeletal face. His breathing was shallow and labored. He was barely alive. The trappings of illness lay all around his bed. The nightstand was littered with a large number of pill vials. An oxygen bottle stood nearby. Its plastic hose, with facemask attached rested on the blanket.

I asked the old woman why she called the police. She simply shrugged and nodded sadly toward her husband, indicating it was his request. I looked at him and he stared intently into my eyes. He seemed relaxed now. I didn't understand the suddenly calm expression on his face. I looked around the room again. A dresser stood along the wall to the left of the bed. On it was the usual memorabilia: ornate perfume bottles, white porcelain pin case, and a wooden jewelry case. There were also several photos in simple frames. One caught my eye and I walked closer to the dresser for a closer look. The picture showed a young man dressed in a police uniform. It was unmistakably a photo of the man in bed. I knew then why I was there.

I looked at the old man and he motioned with his hand toward the side of the bed. I walked over and stood beside him. He slid a thin arm from under the covers and took my hand. Soon, I felt his hand go limp. I looked at his face. There was no fear there. I saw only peace.

He knew he was dying; he was aware his time was very near. I know now that he was afraid of what was about to happen and he wanted the protection of a fellow cop on his journey. A caring God had seen to it that his child would be delivered safely to him. The honor of being his escort fell to me.

When I left at the end of my tour that night, the temperature had seemed to have risen considerably, and all the holiday displays I saw on the way home made me smile. I no longer feel sorry for myself for having to work on Christmas Eve. I have chosen an honorable profession. I pray that when it's my turn to leave this world here will be a cop there to hold my hand and remind me that I have nothing to fear.

I wish all my brother's and sister's who have to work this Christmas Eve all the Joy and warmth of the Season. Working on Christmas Eve for the cops or former cops and the members of their families, you will understand the memories. For those of you that haven't spent Thanksgiving or Christmas working the streets this will give you some insight to the life of a cop.

Richard Valdemar, Sergeant LASD (Retired)

The Four Theresas

2011-12-20T19:25:00.002-06:00

One of the things I love about the Catholic Church is it's diversity. If you don't like a particular devotion then then you can keep looking looking for a devotion that works for you. You are sure to find one out there for you. And saints--boy do we have them. There is a saint out there for anything and everything that you can think of---police officers to bee keepers. And there are a bunch of books about saints out there too. They usually have half a page to a full page talking about each saint. They give you just enough to want to explore more. I read "The Four Teresas" by Gina Loehr and published by St. Anthony Messenger Press that gives an interesting took into four saints.

In "The Four Theresas," Ms. Loehr lets us look into the lives of St. Teresa of Avila, St. Therese of Lisieux, Blessed Teresa of Calcutta and St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross. The four women are as different and as diverse as four people can be but are similar in their love for Jesus and the ways that they can all be models for us. Maybe Therese of Lisieux doesn't touch you Teresa of Avila calls you to deepen your spiritual life. Maybe thinking philisophically like Teresa Benedicta of the Cross did isn't for you but giving aid to the poor and less fortunate is something you are passionate about. We can explore each of their lives and learn from it.

Each of the Teresas is given a whole chapter in the book. The chapter explores their biography and then talks about each of their lessons. Finally, it delves into how we can each live each of the lessons. I find this is a good layout. We are able to understand why each one teaches what they do because of their personal history and background. We then are able to look at what each Teresa teaches and finally, how to apply that in our personal life.

Overall, I liked the book. I like reading about spirituality and I find it very interesting how each of these saintly women got to where they were in life. We are all called to be saints and if I can get some tips and tricks of the trade from actual saints, you can bet I'm going to take it.

This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on The Four Teresas . They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.

Keep It Simple, Stupid

2011-12-19T03:44:00.000-06:00

I went to mass on Sunday at one of my favorite places and at one point it struck me why I enjoy going to mass there. Now, I don't profess to be any type of liturgist but you'll excuse me if I give a little bit of advice to all of the liturgist out there (I realize that probably none are reading this but, oh well) I feel like too often the mass becomes more about the liturgist that the liturgy. I don't know if they feel like they have to prove their worth but they spend so much time decorating the church or preparing the music that they forget where the focus should be. They forget that the mass is very beautiful because of what it is and not because of any floral or musical arrangements. When the mass is focused on Jesus and the Eucharist and we are allowed to recall that He is truly present then the glory of the mass is more likely to shine through.

My humble advice as a person in the pew is K.I.S.S.----just Keep It Simple Stupid (I stole that---I didn't make it up) Yesterday was the first time in advent that I was some place that had said the new confetior (that prayer that starts off with "I confess, to all mighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters) and the first time that I had said the new Nicene Creed in all of it's consubstantial beauty. But it just flowed easily. Although, I was three for five in the "And with your spirit" scoring.

The music was simple and easy to sing. The Holy Holy Holy and the Lamb of God was in Latin so I was comfortable with it. There weren't all sorts of Christmas decorations up. There are a lot of statues but they help you focus on God. Even though I was not at my own parish nothing was out of the ordinary. Even. though I had to beat my children like twenty times (they were being well behaved) I was able to focus. Heck, even my son was singing along to the music. He did have some choice words and gave me a weird look when the priest said in his homily that Mary was the Mother of God as well as our spiritual mother. I guess we get to have to have a little theological disussion. But that's okay. He heard something in the homily that we can talk about.

taken from wdtprs.com

The second piece of advice is "Say the Black, Do the Red." In the Roman Missal, everything that the priest is supposed to say is in black. Everything the priest is supposed to do is in red. If you do everything the way it is supposed to be and don't feel like you have to add anything then you won't get in the way. True, the focus won't be on you, but you will look like a genius.

Just simple advice---do what you are supposed to do and keep the mass focused on Jesus. Not that anyone is going to listen to me. After all---you know the old joke. Do you know what the difference between a liturgist and a terrorist is?? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Jamie's Yes

2011-12-15T22:49:00.000-06:00

I'm very busy. It doesn't seem like I have a lot of downtime. I work, fit in sleep somewhere, work off-duty jobs, get kids ready for school, do my laundry, load/unload the dishwasher. I have to post witty comments on Facebook, keep up to date on reading what's going on in the blogosphere, read my comics. Oh, yeah, and don't forget playing Sims Social on Facebook. I really don't know where God expects me to find time for prayer, or reading the Bible, or reading and learning about my faith. I'm busy! After all, I have three unwatched episodes of The Office and 2 of "Holmes on Homes" on my DVR! I just can't be expected to do that. AND I'm supposed to go to mass for a whole hour a week? Seriously?

I expect, on average, I tell God "no" to simple tasks about 150 times a day. Not just in the making time for Him category but doing acts that would be pleasing to Him. How am I supposed to not gossip when I've got a juicy tidbit to share about Officer Soandso. How can I not complain about things when my department just . . . well, don't get me started. I think St. Augustine said it best when he said, "Lord, make me chaste. Just not yet." No. No. No. No. Noooooooo. Not now. Maybe later but probably not.

Yet, this weekend at mass, the 4th Sunday of Advent, when the angel Gabriel says to Mary, "Mary, you are so awesome that you are going to have a baby who is going to just knock it out of the park." And you remember that Mary points out the difficulty in that since she hadn't been "intimate" with a guy and Gabriel assures her that the Holy Spirit is going to take care of everything. Mary doesn't chime in and ask what she is going to tell the people in her family, in her village, or to Joseph. She simply says, "Yes. Let it be done to me according to your word."

And we sit back in our seats and think, "Yeah, that sounds about right." It makes perfectly good sense. The fact that she said yes seems as natural as can be when we've told God, "no" several times just since we've walked into church. After all, in my mind, it's okay to be judgmental about the people talking loudly, or peeking at the nice legs of the lady in the short skirt the next pew over or to roll my eyes at the liturgist because he is playing this hokey music.

No. I need to stop. I need to be holy like Mary was holy. I need to say "Yes, Lord! Transform me. Make me pleasing to you. Remove any and all obstacles to you." I need to make time for God--in prayer, in reading, in studies. I need to act in a manner pleasing to God.

Yes, Lord---but if you'll excuse me----I see I have (3) Facebook messages pending.

Priorities and Obstacles

2011-12-12T05:40:00.000-06:00

There are several things that I can nearly always take to confession. Things like gossiping, frustration, pride, lust and not putting God first in my life. Ironically enough, if I did a good enough job at putting God first in my life then I probably wouldn't have to take all of the other sins to the confessional. Wouldn't it be great if I just put God first all of the time and let Him guide me like I should? The problem lies in the fact that I have too many other things I think I need to be doing. Too many obstacles.

I'll give you this, I've never really been a good person at prioritizing things. If I did so I would be plucking those obstacles right out of the way and would be much more efficient. I should probably use those lessons I learned at the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" class that work sent me to. I would probably be better off financially because I'd do a better job at saving money and not have to rely on credit. I would be in better shape because I'd be working out and eating better. And I definitely would be better off spiritually because I'd be praying like I should.

I allow obstacles to be thrown in my way though. Sometimes it looks like Normandy Beach because there are so many obstacles in my way. There is barbed wire, landmines and other beach obstacles. Sure, sometimes they are high priority things that need to be done but too often they are things that just waste time. I'd give examples but my wife reads my blog sometimes and I don't want her throwing things back into my face.

It's difficult to get rid of obstacles and to get your priorities straight. Sometimes it can be painful because they are things you really enjoy doing. Sometimes it's painful because those obstacles are people that you like. But no obstacle is worth you getting stuck on the beach when the goal is Heaven and being with God.

Here is the secret, you don't have to do it on your own. God will help you. Throughout your day, ask God to help you remove any and all obstacles that are getting in your way of getting closer to Him.

Just because I won't share my obstacles doesn't mean you can't. What are things in the day that keep you from prayer. What are sins you can't seems to shake that are obstacles in your spiritual life?

We Are Not Alone

2011-12-05T02:42:00.001-06:00

Why does things that are good for you have to be so difficult? Why can't greasy hamburgers and fries clear out cholesterol instead of cause it? Why does going to the gym have to be so painful? Why does sin have to be so much fun? Yeah, I realize that if these are the horrible problems we have to suffer through in a first world country then we don't have a lot to complain about but it's my blog so I can ponder them if I want.

I don't think life is ever really perfect. It may be stable but we always seem to be facing some sort of tribulation. If we aren't, then are we really pushing ourselves towards perfection? Maybe today it's something small like pushing away a piece of German chocolate cake because you've already had a piece or having to study for a test instead of watching something on Hulu. Maybe it's something bigger like separating yourself from a friend because you know they aren't good for you or maybe it's not knowing if a meeting you are going to is going to change your life. Hopefully, it's not something huge like a death in the family or a painful disease.

Big or small . . . life is never perfect to us in our Earthly state. And it's okay to be concerned. It is important to realize that we are never alone. God loves us and is always with us and as long we long that God's will is done we will reach that perfection. That is God's will---that we reach perfection and are able to be face to face with Him in heaven. So, we suffer through tribulations in order to make sure that we are where God wants us to be in life because we know He will take care of us and if we are blessed, we can help others reach that perfection.

Nope. We are never alone. Not only is God always there but as members of the Body of Christ we have others to help us. We have family members to support and help us. We have friends who are there not only to listen and give moral support but to serve as models to strive for. We have the Saints and a giant cloud of witness cheering us on in this crazy race. And we have others that need our help.

It's all about reaching perfection. It's never easy. To do so we have to break the chains of sin that is gluttony and sloth and anger and lust. God is there to give us the grace we need today. Our friends and family are there to support us. We are not alone.

Notes on Mass

2011-11-29T04:01:00.001-06:00

I am not much of a note taker. How I made it through college, I'll never know. Maybe that's why I started in 1992 and finished in 2005. Training sessions at work are the worst. They will give you all this paper so that you can refer back to it at a later time. I hate to tell them that I won't. I will be polite and not throw it away on my way out the door. After all, I am grateful for the paper to doodle on during their lecture. But I'll be honest. It will end up in the floor of my car, get stepped on and muddied. And about six months down the road, I'll clean out the car and throw said paper into the recycling bin. I'm just not the type of person to take notes and definitely not the type of person to take those notes and store them in some place to refer back to at a later time.

An interesting thing has happened though. In September, 2010, I attended a Cursillio weekend. During the sessions of the Cursillio they have you take notes and then you go over your notes with the other people at your table and discuss the session with them. I still have my notes. It's been several months since I've looked at them but I truly treasure them because there are some good nuggets of wisdom in there.

A couple of weeks ago, when I went to the National Catholic Youth Conference, I took a friend's advice, and took a notebook with me and took notes during the key note speeches and break out sessions. The kids looked at me like I was a total nerd. Granted, they normally look at me like I'm a total nerd, but this was on a whole new level. In the last couple of weeks, I'm really glad I did. I've looked back at the notes and recalled what was said.

In his talk, "The Seven Pillars of Catholic Spirituality" the Catholic author, Matthew Kelly recommends taking one item from a weekend homily on something that they took from the homily that will help them become the best person that they can be and recording in a journal. He says that after a year you will have a very powerful book on spirituality. He knows human nature well enough to realize that most people will buy a journal, take his advice for one Sunday and then put the journal in a "safe place" and forget all about it.

So, I've been thinking. Since I've discovered that I enjoy taking notes over spiritual discussions--it helps me focus and recall the information later on, would it be disrespectful or sacrilegious to take a notepad into mass with me and take notes while father is giving his homily? After all, mass isn't a revival or a lecture. It is something higher than that. It is sacred. At the same time, if it helps me retain what father is preaching and helps me take some his sermon outside of the mass is it a bad thing. I'll be honest with you, I don't know. I do know that 95% I don't recall what the homily was about after mass, much less the next day.

What do you think? Have you tried this? Do you think to do so would be wrong? Why?

Five Cool Catholic Apps

2011-11-28T01:14:00.001-06:00

It is no secret to my closest friends and relatives that I am a geek. Granted, I'm not a super smart geek or else I'd be making a lot more money than I am. But I've always enjoyed technology. I've always liked computers. I am a genuine text addict and it is seldom that I don't have my Droid X in my hand. I'm also pretty geeky when it comes to Catholicism. So, I figured, I would combine the two and write about my favorite Catholic apps. There aren't a lot out there but here are five good Catholic apps.

1) Confession---It shouldn't be any surprise to anyone who knows me that a confession app would be my favorite. This one got a lot of publicity when it came out about a year or so ago. For all of you who think it means you don't have to tell your sins to another person then you are going to be disappointed. It does not replace the sacrament. It simply takes who you are, you sex, your age and your vocation and comes up with an examination of conscience for you. You do the examination of conscience and then it walks you through the steps of confession. Then, after confession, all of your sins are erased and it only leaves you with the date of confession for your next time. It is very simple. Very easy to use. The only problem I've had with it is that it keeps logging you off so you have to log back on right before you go in if you wish to use it in the confessional. People may also look at you awkwardly for looking at your phone while in line.

2) iBreviary---You don't have to carry around your breviary with you any longer. This simple app holds all of your daily readings so you have them with you no matter where you are. It's very nice to have but I have to admit---there is something about having the actual book of Christian Prayer there and moving the ribbons around.

3) CatholicOne--I don't think this app had gotten the press that it deserves. I love it! In one little app it has daily readings, the rosary, stations of cross. Dozens of prayers in English and Latin, a link to iCatholicMedia (an app that I havent' gotten a chance to explore yet but looks interesting) and not one--but two on-line Bibles. Yes, it has both the New American Bible and Douay-Rheims Bible. The prayers are even divided into different types such as Eucharistic, Marian, novena etc etc. If you are Catholic then you need this app. It's fantastic.

4) Sirius/XM--I am including this app even though it is not necessarily "Catholic" because I use it to listen to The Catholic Channel when I'm not in my car or away from the computer. It's great for listening to The Catholic Guy Show while I'm driving at work.

5) Ingnio---This app is available for the Android market but after talking to one of the designers at NCYC I downloaded it to my iPod Touch. Sadly, I don't have anyone to light my flame. :-( The basic idea is that we need help from our fellow Christians. Our "candle" is lit by someone and you develop a small circle of friends that help keep you on task. Every time you pray or read scripture you push a button and your candle stays lit. If you go awhile without praying or reading the Bible your candle dwindles and is eventually extinguished. You are only allowed 12 friends which is perfect--because it's not about social networking. It's about having a few great friends who will keep you on the right path. I'm really looking forward to using this app because I need some close friends to keep me on task.

What about you? Do you have any apps that you like? I saw some interesting ones on iTunes that I wish were in the Android Market.

Eyelash to Eyelash With God

2011-11-23T01:54:00.001-06:00

I have a confession. My favorite sacrament, ironically, is the sacrament of reconciliation. I know . . . I know. . . the Eucharist is the top sacrament. It is, after all, the source and summit of our faith. But, I really love going to confession. Well, let me add in a caveat . . . I would much more prefer it if I never ever had to go to confession again but, I know that I am a sinner. I recognize that I sin and that the only way to get rid of that sin is by going to the confessional. I know that "confessing my sins to God directly" doesn't cut it. It's not the way that God intended it to be. It's too easy. It doesn't take any humility. People who do so are fooling themselves and are missing out on the closeness to God that comes with confession.

I was never able to describe how going to confession feels adequately. Not until I heard Mark Hart's keynote speech Friday morning at NCYC in Indianapolis last week. The morning session is below. Mark's keynote starts at about the 54 minute mark and the portion that hit me like a ton of bricks starts at about the 82 minute mark---but watch it all. It is worth it.

I really encourage you to watch the video because I am just going to butcher the explanation. Mark talks about how people walk with their heads down because they are embarrassed. They are ashamed of their sins. He then describes what "cilia" are. They are little hair like things on cells that help them move. He continues saying that God, in His infinite wisdom gave humans cilia also. He says that our eye lashes are like cilia. And when we go to reconCILIAtion we are brought back together with God. It is an eye lash to eye lash encounter with God. He lifts up are chin and makes us new again.

Just that idea--that metaphor sends shivers up and down my spine. To sense the spiritual side of reconciliation and imagining being eye lash to eye last with God during confession stirs something inside of me. It gets me choked up. To think that God, the creator of the universe, not only is willing, but desires for me and all of mankind to be reconciled with him. That He wants that type of intimate encounter with me and is willing to wipe away all of my sin in order to be with me.

I went to confession the day after Mark's speech and that visual image struck me as the words of absolution were spoken by the priest and I could barely say my Act of Contrition because I felt God's love. I felt him lifting the yoke of sin and taking that burden off of me. Words cannot describe it. I'm truly not worthy but it doesn't matter. God loves me and wants to forgive me. He loves you too. And He wants to forgive you too. So, if it's been awhile since you've been to confession find out when the next one is and go. Have that eye lash to eye lash encounter with God.

Fifteen Amazing Things About NCYC 2011

2011-11-21T11:59:00.001-06:00

We got back home from Indianapolis where I participated in the 2011 National Catholic Youth Conference. This was my third NCYC and they have all been simply amazing. After the 2009 NCYC, held at home here in Kansas City, I posted a blog titled, "Fourteen Amazing Things About NCYC." Truth be told, I had difficulty stopping at fourteen so, I figured I would add on this year and rewrite it to make it applicable for this year. So, here is the 2011 edition of amazing things at NCYC. Some of these are taken from last years because there is just no way to leave them off any list but I did try to make new items.

Number 15---Lucas Oil Stadium. This was a fantastic location for the general sessions. I really think that with the large number of people there, you need to have it in a football stadium. When you are in an arena, like it was last year at the Sprint Center in Kansas City, you had to make sure to get to the arena early in order to get good seats or else you would be in the "nose bleed" sections. At Lucas Oil, even if you were late, you could get great seats and feel like you very close to the action. (I would still recommend getting there early so you don't miss out on the warm-up bands.)
Number 14---All of the Religious People Everywhere you looked there were priests and nuns having a good time. Heck, one night I was walking back to my hotel and walking next to me was a bishop--a successor to the apostles standing next to me waiting for the traffic signal to change! This is incredible to me. I think it is great for the teens to see these religious people as people just like them. People who enjoy having a good time. I also think it's good for the priests and the nuns and the bishops to see the young people loving their faith.
Number 13---The Food. Some attendees may be thinking I am crazy to list food considering the lines to some of the food places. Yes, it can be difficult but it can be done. With pre-planning and reservations you can find some great food. Thursday night we had diner at Buca di Beppo before the general session and we were in and out in 45 minutes. Friday night we had great pizza at this hole in the wall pizza shoppe that was so secluded that it was like finding Diagon Alley. (We are going to back in 2013 so I'm not giving up where it is) Finally, our diocese had dinner at Hard Rock Cafe on Friday night. A great opportunity for kids from different parishes to meet and interact.
Number 12---Everything is Just Right. I'm not sure there is room for growth at NCYC. Well, sure, there is, but I don't know how. After all, a million people descended on Madrid, Spain for a week in August. I think that is extreme though. Twenty-three thousand Catholics is a lot of people and there are times when places are cramped. Yet having that many people just intensifies the excitement and adds a sense of awe. Three days is also a long time to be jam-packed with that many people. After that and I think people would start to get testy. Any shorter than that and it's just not the same. I think the size and the length of NCYC is just right.
Number 11---You get to miss school/work. This has two advantages. The first one is---you get to miss school and/or work! I don't think I need to expand and that. The second is that it gives you an opening to share your faith. You've missed two or three days and you come back and people are sure to ask where you've been or what you've been doing. At the same time, you are still all jazzed up and excited. What a perfect opportunity to share Jesus with someone.
Number 10---Positive Attitudes. Imagine 23,000 people in one space for 3 days. You would think that tempers would be flaring. Yeah, there are times when people get frustrated but it's short lived. That type of attitude just doesn't survive in the NCYC environment. So many people being happy and excited for their faith and negativity just doesn't have a chance.
Number 9---The Quotes. There are so many great speakers and so many great things being said. I took some advice from a friend and took a journal and took notes during some of the sessions so I can remember them (great idea for youth ministers---make your kids travel journals so they have a place to put their memories) I'm now able to remember that Mark Hart told me that "Prayer IS our relationship with God." Or Mike Patin telling me, "Be who you are called to be and we will set the world ablaze!" (Okay--he quoted St. Katherine of Sienna---but he still told it to me in a great session) Or Fr. Tony telling me to "Don't be Stupid!"
Number 8---The Expo Center---WOW!! Areas for vocations, areas for eating, people selling Catholic books, jewlery, tee-shirts. Areas for universities. Areas for HUMAN FOOSBALL! Being able to meet your favorite Catholic celebrity. Fun fun place to be.
Number 7---It Just HAS to Bother Satan. The Devil is the big loser in all of this. People who are already in love with Jesus have that love set on fire. Those who have let that fire dwidle get reinvigorated. Those who done really know Jesus, get to know him. Sin is talked about. Hell is talked about. Evil is brought into the light. The Devil hates that.
Number 6--It is pleasing to God. It would have been interesting to be in Heaven when 23000 people are reciting the Hail Mary or when thousands of people receive the sacrament of reconciliation. People singing His praise and offering themselves to Him. Surely He had a smile.
Number 5---Knocking out the cell network two times in one day. At the Saturday morning session, Mike Patin had the kids take out their cell phones and at the same time send someone back home a texts saying, "I care for you. I'm praying with 23,000 other people for you." That night at mass, Bishop Coyne again had everyone take out their phones and send out a text, a tweet or a status update saying, "We are called to glory!" I'm sure that many texts or tweets going out at the same moment just had to wreck the cell network---even if it was just for a second.
Number 4---The universality of the Church and NCYC. Several of the sessions were streamed on the interwebs. So, while there were all these people watching mass from Lucas Oil Stadium there were thousands of others watching on their computers from crazy places like the Vatican and China. This shows that the Catholic Church truly is Universal. It is all around the world.
Number 3---Youth Ministers. This could not have been done if it wasn't for all of the hard work done by youth ministers back home. I know they start recruiting people to go and planning over a year in advance. Travel arrangements, food arrangements. I can't imagine how many hours goes into organizing a group to go. My parish, Holy Family, is blessed to have the best youth minister in the world--Heather Neds. She makes the whole weekend end appear seamless and ensures that everything runs smooth so that the kids have a great time.
Number 2--Reminders from God that it doesn't End. We loaded on the bus Saturday night thinking we were a short sleep filled 10 hour bus ride from home. We thought we'd be getting in Sunday morning as people were filing in for mass. Not so fast. We had a slight mechanical difficulty with the bus and had to sit at a truck stop for a couple hours before limping to a motel in order to get some sleep and a shower while they figured out what to do. About 1pm Sunday afternoon, another bus came and picked us up to take us the rest of the way. Twenty-one hours after we left Indy, we pulled into Holy Family. God granted us a 12 hour extension to NCYC. And the kids kept a great attitude through it all, even though they were tired and had homework to do. I hope they realize, NCYC doesn't end there---they have to take what they learned with them.
Number 1--My Daughter. This is my third NCYC and my 11th year being involved in youth ministry as a catechist. It is my first time my oldest, Emma, has been involved and it was great to spend time with her. We went to one break-out session together. We spent time in line for reconciliation together. Time here, time there. Lots of valuable bonding time and I treasured every minute of it.

Well, I thought I would have to repeat things from my last list, such as the mass or reconciliation. I could go on and on and list many other things that are incredible about NCYC. I simply love going there. It's like a great big CatholicCon for a Catholic geek like me. Hopefully, I'll have a repeat after the 2013 NCYC, which will be November 21-23, also in Indy so I'll put them there.

Headed to NCYC

2011-11-16T11:27:00.001-06:00

Tonight, myself and thirty-two other adults and teens are leaving Kansas City and headed to Indianapolis for the 2011 National Catholic Youth Conference. This will be my third one and I am pumped and excited. There isn't much that I look forward to more than NCYC. I'm really hoping to see Fr. Tony this year.

Why do I love it so much? I wrote a post after the one in 2009 titled, "Fourteen Amazing Things About NCYC" that does a pretty good job explaining it.

I'll try to keep you updated of what's going on here or at my Twitter--@JamieMc4525. If you are there tweet me and maybe we can meet up.Or, you can watch along by going to www.ncyc.info (was ncyc.com taken?) The following sessions will be streamed.

Thursday, November 17th
beginning at approximately 8:00 PM EST
General Session

Friday, November 18th
beginning at approximately 9:30 AM EST
Morning Session
beginning at approximately 11:30 AM EST
Parent Mega Workshop, "The Gift of Parenthood"
beginning at approximately 1:30 PM EST
Parent Mega Workshop, "Stories of Faith and Family"
beginning at approximately 3:45 PM EST
Parent Mega Workshop, "Talking with Teens about Taboo Topics"
beginning at approximately 8:00 PM EST
General Session

Saturday, November 19th
beginning at approximately 9:00 AM EST
Morning Session
beginning at approximately 11:30 AM EST
Parent Mega Workshop, "The Family that Prays Together"
beginning at approximately 8:00 PM EST
Closing Liturgy

Don't Let the Devil Win in KC-St. Joseph

2011-11-14T20:49:00.001-06:00

God is in constant battle with the Devil. God wants us to be with Him and He loves us so much that He gave us free will so that we will freely choose Him. The devil wants us to be separated from God and he tempts us so that we will sin--which is separation from God. God snatches victory from the devil when we do sin by forgiving us for that sin and reconciling with us. And we help defeat the devil when we forgive others when they harm us.

The devil has been winning some major battles in the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph. First, the devil caused Fr. Shawn Rattigan to sin by possessing child pornography and possibly taking inappropriate photographs of children. Bishop Finn and the diocese then sinned by not fully protecting the children that they are supposed to protect by not turning over the information promptly to the proper authorities. The Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph is now in turmoil because of those sins.

The people in the diocese are hurting. They feel like they have been betrayed by Bishop Finn. I have heard rumblings of people asking whether or not they can allow their teen to receive the sacrament of confirmation from "that man." Others have asked if the confirmation would even be valid. [it would be--the validity of a sacrament does not rely on the holiness of the priest] People are mad and angry at the man who is supposed to lead them. They do not trust him and having trust is at the core of good leadership.

Bishop Robert Finn

Bishop Finn immediately came out after Fr. Rattigan was arrested and stated that mistakes had been made. He stated, "Things must change. I also have to change." He employed the law firm of Graves, Bartle, Marcus and Garret, LLC to conduct an investigation and to recommend changes to the policies and procedure of the diocese. He apologized for the mistakes that the did make.

For healing to start, it is now up to the community of the diocese to forgive Bishop Finn and the other leaders of the diocese for the mistakes they made. And Bishop Finn does not deny that mistakes were made. I get frustrated reading how some organizations, such as the Catholic League, have tried to down play the mistakes and make it sound as if everything that the diocese was okay. I spent several hours reading the Graves report. [I have several thoughts that I'll bring up in another post] The report comes to the conclusion that the leaders of the diocese erred. So don't down play it. Just like we should not rationalize our sins, we should not rationalize the mistakes of the diocese. Let them admit their errors so that they can learn and grow from them just as we learn and grow from our mistakes.

We must forgive and start to move on. I'm not saying forget. We must ensure that changes are made so that mistakes do not happen again. But don't let the devil win. Don't let him shake your faith. I know forgiveness isn't easy. Especially when you are mad. When you are angry and when you feel betrayed. But we must forgive in order to let go and to heal. We must forgive in order to defeat the devil. Yes, Bishop Finn made big mistakes but so are we when we do not forgive.

The Love of Jesus

2011-11-09T21:52:00.000-06:00

Recently, I went to reconciliation and the priest gave me an odd penance. The priest told me to go to adoration, to sit in front of the blessed sacrament and ask for Jesus to show me the love He has for me. It was definitely an "outside of the box" type of penance. I'm used to throwing out some Hail Mary's or Our Father's and being done with it but this one went a long way with me.

It seemed very weird. Why should I pray for Jesus' love? I know Jesus loves me. It's probably one of the first things I learned in my life. Heck, it's in the children's song, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so." The fact that Jesus loves us and wants to have a personal relationship with us is what our faith is built around. He gave His life for us. If there is anything I'm sure of in life it's that there is a God and that He loves me. So what is the point of this penance??

The Holy Spirit was working through that priest it turns out. This may sound totally insane, but even though I know Jesus loves me, in some weird place in my head I ~~had doubts~~ have doubts that Jesus really does truly love me. There is some portion of my brain that can rationalize that Jesus loves everybody--except for me. I mean if Jesus knows everything about me how can he possibly love me through all my faults.

Then it hit me. If I have trouble believing that Jesus Christ loves me then it's no wonder I sometimes have difficulty believe that those closest to me, and who know all my faults, truly love me. After all, Jesus is full of mercy. He desires to forgive me. He expects me to mess up. My loved ones?? I can't expect them to be as merciful and forgiving as Jesus is. Can I? After all, the depth of Jesus' mercy is like the ocean. Seriously? I'm full of faults. I can be difficult to get along with. I have quirks. I'm forgetful. I can be needy? Doubt me? Ask my wife. Ask my friends. Ask my family.

So, I wonder, why does my wife, my family, or my friend love me past my faults if I'm not ever sure Jesus, who is all-forgiving, loves me. There is something irrational about that thought process though. Why would I think that Jesus doesn't love me while I believe in His mercy? If someone is willing to forgive you for anything you do then there MUST be love there. If I believe in Jesus' mercy then I must believe in His love for me.

So, it's not rational thought that Jesus does not love me. So why do I have it? I'd like to call it a glitch. Just like a computer or a computer program may get a glitch in it I think there may be a glitch in me. I am the type of person who needs constant reassurance. When my loved one isn't around, I start to doubt their love for me. It only makes sense, that when I haven't been with Jesus in prayer for awhile that I start to doubt his love for me. Jesus is eager and willing to show His love for me just as my family and friends are eager to share their love for me. I just have to be more trusting.

Catholicism Is Not a Social Group

2011-11-07T06:43:00.000-06:00

I grew up Catholic. I grew up proud of my faith. I grew up ready to defend my faith. I didn't know much about my faith growing up. I didn't receive my first communion or reconciliation until I was in 7th grade. Heck, I wasn't confirmed until I was in my late twenties. That didn't matter. I identified myself as Catholic even though I probably couldn't tell you what that meant. As such, I led a pretty secular life and did things that a person in my teens or twenties wanted to do. I moved in with a girl at twenty years old. I married her in a courthouse. I rarely went to mass. Confession?? Forget about it.

I was ignorant about my faith and I lived that way. But, if anyone would have asked me---I was Catholic--and PROUD OF IT! Here is the deal though, I don't think I ever spoke ill of the Catholic Church's teachings. I've always trusted her teachings as truth even if I didn't always live by them or understand them. I don't know what I would have done if someone would have questioned me about them. What would have I done if someone asked, "Aren't you supposed to go to mass every Sunday?" or "Should you be having premarital sex?" or "Doesn't the Church teach against birth control?"

I recognize the fact that I may appear hypocritical when I criticize "Cafeteria Catholics." Cafeteria Catholics are those who claim to be Catholic but pick and choose from the Catechism what they believe in or don't believe in-- as if they were going through a line in a cafeteria. I'll also be the first one to admit that I don't always live according to Church teachings today. After all, I am a sinner and if it weren't but for the grace of God and the fear of Hell I would be a bad bad guy.

As much as I may cause scandal by being a sinner and saying that something is a sin and then going and committing that sin, I believe it is a great scandal to say that you are Catholic and then criticize what the Church believes and teaches. Yes, there is a hell and people go there every day. Yes, contraception is wrong. Homosexual acts are wrong. Abortion is wrong. The bishop is the authority of the diocese and should be shown respect. Masturbation is wrong. You are supposed to go to mass every Sunday and on Holy Days of Obligation. You are supposed to go to confession once a year. You are supposed to abstain from meat on Fridays during lent and fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Only men can be priests. To say otherwise goes against the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Catholicism is not a social group. As the apologist John Martinoni has said that do so is basically taking a Catechism of the Catholic Church, ripping out pages and turning it into the Catechism of Gene. (It's been years since I've heard that talk so you will excuse me paraphrasing what he said) Mr. Marinoni's point is that if you are Catholic then you are saying that you can pick up the Catechism and say, "This is what I believe."

If you have problems with some of the Church's teachings--which is perfectly understandable because there are many difficult teachings--then educate yourself about the teachings. Find out why she says what she says. Then pray about the teachings. It may take the grace of God to get you to understand some teachings. Then, finally, trust our Church. Jesus gave Peter and the apostles authority and that authority was passed down through the ages. Trust in that authority. Everything that is in that Catechism----I believe it.

What are teachings you have difficulty with? Which ones did you have difficulty with and how did you get over that difficulty? Are you or have you been a Cafeteria Catholic?

You Don't Know the Hour

2011-11-04T03:36:00.000-05:00

I have seen my fair share of death in the 15 years of having been a police officer. Sometimes the death is expected like the incidents where the grandmother has passed away at home with her family at her bed side Sometimes the person may have lived a high risk life style where they are involved in drugs and gangs and the family members are saddened but not too surprised at the news. More often than not though, if I am there, the death is unexpected and a shock to the family. Sometimes it is because of an accident or sadly sometimes, people just don't wake up.

In this weekends gospel reading, Jesus tells us the story of ten virgins who go out to wait for the bridegroom. Some of them do not take enough oil for their lamps so by the time the bridegroom gets there they don't have any light. They are forced to go to the merchant and they miss the bridegroom. When they go to the wedding feast they are told they cannot come in and that the bridegroom does not know them. Jesus finishes off by saying, "stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour."

This is commonly meant that we do not know the time of Jesus' return to earth but, seeing death come so quickly and unexpectedly as I have, I see it as we do not know of the time or the hour that our own deaths will come so always be prepared for our deaths.

This is most important in the spiritual sense. We should not be afraid because Jesus has conquered death. As long as we cooperate with the graces that God has given to us then death can be a victory over sin. If we live our lives in a manner that is pleasing to God then we are assured of spending eternity with Him. If we live a life of sin then we are probably not got going to like the outcome. Fortunately, God is always trying to reconcile Himself to us. He gives us plenty of opportunities for us get fix our relationship with Him---most specifically, confession.

I think there is another idea that can be taken away from this reading. Since we do not know the day or the hour of our death--love like we never know when we are going to die. Don't go to bed angry. Tell our wives and our kids that we love them before we leave home. Hug those we love. Don't be afraid to express our affections. We don't know if that is going to be our last hug or our last kiss. We don't want our loved ones last memory of us to be of a fight.

I've seen too many people live like they are never going to die. I've been on scene where the person had some terminal illness but yet had no funeral arrangements leaving their loved ones to make them in a time of grief. Don't fear death. Don't live being worried that something bad is going to happen. But, live the life that is pleasing to God and make sure our friends and family know we love them. Oh yeah---and make sure that there is plenty of beer at the funeral wake.

My Top 4 Favorite Souls

2011-11-03T03:52:00.000-05:00

Like I was saying in my previous post, My Top 5 Favorite Saints, the processional song for mass last night was the Litany of the Saints. My liturgist does something interesting with the song and he starts throwing in great people who are not cannoized saints but who are probably a good bet to be in Heaven such as Dr. Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Thomas Merton. They then start reciting all the people from the parish who have died in the last year. I have to say, I'm not sure about how theologically correct doing this is but I think it is comforting to the people who have died.

I did think it would be interesting if instead of singing "pray for us" after each name, if the congregation could some how switch to singing, "pray for him." After all, we are supposed to offer up our prayers for the dead that they may more quickly make it out of purgatory and into heaven. But I suppose that might be difficult. I then thought about doing a follow up to the Top 5 Favorite Saint post for All Soul's Day and list people who I know and love who have passed and whom I would like for you to pray for.

I'm worried about people being offended because their loved one did not make my list s:o I'm taking off the "Top" part of my title and just listing five people in my life who have died and had a BIG impact on my life.

Why do we pray for those who died? As Catholics, we believe that when you die you are going to either Heaven or Hell. Very few of us are purified enough to make it to Heaven right away so, through the grace of God, we are allowed to go to purgatory first so that we may be made pure in order to enter Heaven. That is a very simplistic explanation but we pray for those who have died that they may leave Heaven and be in God's beatific vision.

1.) Grandpa Chub: That is what all of my other cousins called him. I just called him Grandpa. I grew up as a single child until I was 13 years old with a single mom and Grandpa was my main father figure. He was sixty by the time I was born and in his seventies by the time I was in my formative years and passed away when I was a teenager. He was a printer most of his life and very involved in Cub Scouting. I took my Mic-O-Say name from him. He was "Black Parchment" and I am "Little Black Parchement."

2.) Grandma Margaret: She died years before I was born when my mom was still a young teenager. That doesn't mean she was forgotten. I've heard so many wonderful stories growing up from her kids---my mom and her brothers. She was from Shendoah, Iowa. She started dating my grandpa and converted him to Catholicism. They had six boys and one daughter.

3) Kenny Harris: He was my baby sitter's husband and coincidentally, his workshop was across the street from my house growing up so I spent a lot of time there hanging out. He drove grain trucks, worked on cars and helped farm. I got to do lots of cool things because of him--or at least cool for a kid growing up. Like riding in a combine during harvest or riding to Kansas City in a semi-truck.

4) Uncle Mick: Mick was the Chief of Police in Tarkio, where I grew up and was one of the reasons I am the way I am. Don't hold that against him. But, I would say he is a big reason I became a cop. He was a contributor to my wit and great sense of humor and a leading cause for my fondness for the Beatles. Sadly, he passed away before his time. I was only in his mid-fifties and died from emphysema from years of smoking. I may mention---he is also a leading factor in the reason I hate cigarettes.

5) Max and Doris--my wife's grandparents. I couldn't separate them because they are, in my mind, forever combined. I never met them until I was in my 20's and dating Abby and are a model for me what a happy marriage should be. I see so much of Doris in my wife--kind, caring, stubborn and tough. Max (who we name our son after) was one of the most kind and gentle people I have ever known. I pray that Abby and I are as happy as they were.

So there they are. Hopefully they are already in Heaven. To hear my uncles talk, my grandmother was probably a straight shot for Heaven and probably some of the others. But, pray for them anyway please.

My Top 5 Favorite Saints

2011-11-02T06:05:00.000-05:00

Last night I was at mass for All Saints Day and they started off the mass with the Litany of the Saints. I've always enjoyed this song. Not only do I like the tune but I just enjoy listening the names of all the saints and thinking about each one, remembering their stories and reflecting on what makes them special. Some of them I was very familiar with. Others, I hadn't heard of at all.

As Catholics we hold saints up in high regard. They are people we can model ourselves after. Some of them seemed to be saintly from the birth. Other's led very sinful lives before turning to God. In 2009, I wrote a blog titled Top 5 Saints. Looking back, I find it interesting that the who I considered my top five saints today aren't the same as I thought of back then. I suppose that's because I'm not in the same place spiritually as I was back then (that can be either a good thing or a bad thing) So, I thought, I would revisit that blog and update it. So, here now are my Top 5 Saints (as of this moment):

1. St. Maximilian Kolbe--a priest who was placed into the Nazi concentration camp at Auschwitz and gave his life in exchange for another prisoner. I can't say as to why I like St. Maximillian but there is just something about him that I really respect.

2. St. Therese of Lisieux--this may seem a little hokey. I thought her autobiography was very sappy when I read it several years ago. But, I like the story about a fellow nun that she did not like. The nun was always mean to her but St. Therese just put on a smile and went on her way. Finally, one day, the old nun asked Therese, "why do you love me so." Therese didn't even really like the nun but she made the nun feel loved. I want to be like that. You see, people annoy me and I find that it's too easy to be mean back. I don't want to be two-faced, but at the same time, I want to be Christ-like and make people feel loved.

3. St. Faustina--Jesus appeared to her and showed her imaged of heaven and hell and wanted her to pass on the message of His mercy. That's a message I like to hear because I mess up a lot. And I mean A LOT!. It comforts me to know that Jesus loves me know matter what and forgives me. It's a virtue that I try to carry forward and be forgiving to other people.

4. St. Michael--he is a carry over from the 2009 list but, he is the patron saint of police officers. Plus, he is who people think of when they talk about spiritual warfare--the guy who kicked the Devil's butt. And I recognize that we are all in a state of spiritual warfare, whether you want to believe it or not.

5. St Gianna Beretta Molla--she died in the early 1960's in order that her child could live. She had the option of aborting her child and living or carrying her child through birth and possibly dying. I like her because she is saint of the modern days. She is a lay person. And because I'm not sure I could make that decision. Let me clarify---if it was between me or my kids then yeah--no brainer--take me. But, if it was my wife and our unborn child--I'll be honest, I don't know what I'd do. (close your ears Abby!) It would be a huge moral dilemma for me and I respect St. Gianna's decision.

So, there you have it--my five favorite saints for November, 2011. Come back in 2013 and see the next update. Well, come back before then--I may write something good. Probably not, but we'll see.

You Again

2011-11-01T05:21:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I watched the movie, "You Again." The movie is about a girl named Marni (played by Kristen Bell) who was kind of nerdy in high school and tormented by another girl, named Joanna (played by Odette Yustman) After high school, Marni blossomed into an handsome woman and is successful at her job. She flies back home for her brother's wedding, only to find out that her brother's bride-to-be is Joanna, who seems to have turned a new leaf. She is now sweet and helpful. Worst of all, she does not remember Marni at all.

Marni, cannot seem to let the pain and suffering go though and does everything she can to show everyone that Joanna isn't the person they think she is. To make things worse, Marni's mother (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) had been best friends with Joanna's aunt (Sigourney Weaver) until they had a falling out in high school and are now bitter enemies--despite not having seen each other since high school.

These four women spend the entire movie trying to destroy each other because of some pain or hurt cause years and years ago. And they do everything they can to hurt the other because of hurt caused them. The problem with holding grudges and continuing to be angry at someone is that they are holding you as slaves to them. Your anger causes you to be held down by that other person.

This is when we should be imitating Jesus and showing others the mercy and forgiveness that He shows us. To forgive is to show love. There is a second reason we should show forgiveness and mercy. We we forgive someone for the hurt they have given to us, we actually break the chains that are holding us to them. We are no longer tormented by that other person. They stop hurting us when we forgive them.

If you have someone who has hurt them but you can't seem to forgive them just let go of that hurt. Forgive that person. Break the chains. I'm not saying you have to forget what they did to you. I'm not saying you have to trust them again. But forgive them. Free them. Free yourself.

I realize it's not difficult. Especially if that person hasn't shown remorse. Or if they don't know the hurt they have done to you. You may feel like you want to "let them have it." You want closure. You want to try to make them feel bad. How would you feel if God did that to you every time you sinned against Him? God loves you. He forgives you for your sins. Love that person and forgive them for theirs.

How to Treat Others

2011-10-21T07:07:00.003-05:00

Several years ago, I was driving home from visiting my mom. I was driving down I-29 on a bright, sunny, September afternoon. I popped over a hill top and a Missouri Highway Patrolman was sitting in the median running radar. Evidently, I was going a too fast because I got pulled over. I think I was going 12 over. Not horrible but good enough to get stopped.

I pulled as far to the right as I could, even putting my right wheels off of the road. I rolled down my window, got out my driver's license, proof of insurance and police id. Like it or not, most cops don't write other cops tickets so I was identifying myself as law enforcement. The sergeant asked me where I worked and I told him and then he proceeded to start chewing me out. He said he is a sergeant just like me and why would I disrespect him like that? Seriously? I never tried to disrespect him. I accidentally went over the speed limit. If the roles were reversed I would have simply told him to have a nice day. But he seemed to take my speeding on his highway as a personal affront.

He went back to his car and did whatever he did and came back and gave me a warning but he treated me a like a jerk the whole time and left a bad taste in my mouth. Let me start off by saying, I have a lot of respect for troopers. Sure, I poke fun maybe--saying they are just tail light chasers and wear funny hats. But in reality, the reason I got into law enforcement was to be a trooper and they do a dangerous job all alone for the most part. As I drove off, I was upset at the way I had been treated even though I didn't get a ticket. I would have preferred a ticket to being the way I was treated.

I try to teach my officers to treat everyone they come into contact with like they would want their wife or parents to be treated. Treat people the way they would like to be treated. This is easier sometimes than others. Sometimes cops have bad days. Sometimes we get burnt out dealing with the same stuff day in and day out. Sometimes people just push the right buttons. Sometimes, well, sometimes officers are just jerks. That's who they are. But that is what I expect--for officers to treat people the way the would want to be treated. Sometimes the way they would expect to be treated--after all, sometimes you can't always be nice. Some people need to be taken to the ground.

I think they do a really good job at it. Several times a week, I try to ask citizens who they were treated on a scale of 1-10. Most often they give a 10 or above--even if they are being taken away in a paddy wagon. Sometimes they even say thank you after they've been given a ticket.

I think this is an important quality to have in life wherever you are---to treat everyone the way you'd like to be treated. I would say, it's even a sin not to. After all, Jesus tells us in this weekend's gospel that the second greatest commandment is to "love your neighbor as yourself." That's a big challenge if you think about it. I love myself a whole lot. I feed myself. I clean myself. I put a roof over my head. That's how we are to love our neighbor. We are to do what we can do to help our our neighbor to heaven. Not easy at all.

And that is the easier of the two commandments I think. For the first is to love God with our whole heart, our whole mind and our whole soul. Lord, give me the grace to do that because I really want to love you with my whole heart mind and soul. But I'll be honest, I can't get passed the whole loving myself thing much less to love my neighbor the same way or to love you with everything I have and am.

Those are two qualities we are all supposed to have. They aren't "goals." Imagine a world where everyone loved God with everything they had and also loved their neighbors as themselves. I think if we did that I might be out of a job.

Sinner! by Lino Rulli

2011-10-20T09:50:00.001-05:00

I think I should point out before you get too far into this review that I am a huge fan of Lino Rulli, host of The Catholic Guy Show on Sirius/XM Satellite Radio. I even pre-ordered his back several months before it was due out. That being said, I think anyone who is a fan of Lino doesn't have a problem cracking on him if the need arises or the opportunity presents itself. So, I think you can trust my opinion about his book, Sinner.

"Sinner" is an autobiography about Lino's life growing up in Minnesota. It doesn't always present Lino in a positive light, which may surprise anyone who has not heard his show and expects The Catholic Guy's autobiography to me the next Story of a Soul. That is the reason for the title and what he is trying to convey through out the book. He is a sinner. He is trying his best to be pleasing to God but he is human and has human faults. He tries. He fails. But he doesn't quit. He gets back on the horse and tries again.

One of the things that I enjoyed about the book is the tendency to tell a story and then comment on it in regard to the spiritual life. He does this on the show quiet regularly and I always enjoy it when he does. After all, we aren't just physical beings and everything we do in this life has a spiritual side to it too. We don't think like that necessarily, but most of our physical acts we do every day has some sort of spiritual connection or repercussion even.

If you are looking for some deep, confusing, theological book then this probably isn't the one for you. But if you are looking for something light, but that makes you think about your own spiritual life and how you are a sinner too then this is the one for you.

Sinner can be found at Amazon and Barnes and Noble or most Catholic book stores. .

Occupy Greed

2011-10-19T05:38:00.000-05:00

Occupy Wall Street is entering it's second month and has spread not only throughout the country but throughout the world. If you go back to the beginning of the movement, the basic complaints, from what I can tell, are that they believe that 1% of the population--the richest--is at fault for the problems of the other 99% (put very simply) and that Washington should not be in bed with corporate America and bailing them out (irony point---that is one of the main complaints of the Tea Party--which has been vilified by the people of Occupy Wall Street (OWS).

I think that there is a major problem in America. That problem is with greed. And that problem stretches more than just the 1% of the wealthiest Americans. I think it stretches to us all. And that is one of the issues I have problems with OWS. I understand the anger at companies worth billions of dollars being bailed out with tax payer money while the CEO's of said companies live in splendor. People should be angry at that idea. They should also be angry with the politicians in Washington for GAVE them those bail outs. What I have issues with are those of the 99% who want their own bailouts of Washing. The idea of "Oh, I made bad financial decisions---the government should bail me out" is bad for the rich as well as for the rest of us.

Don't get me wrong--I believe that there should be welfare programs for those who fall into hard times so that they can get back on their feet. My family was on welfare for awhile growing up. I believe that there should be programs out there to help people better themselves---the whole, "tis better to teach a man to fish for a lifetime than it is to give him a fish for a day" philosophy.

I do see a problem with greed up and down Wall Street but not just in the sky scrapers or in the corporate board rooms but in the protesters in the park. America is one of the wealthiest countries in the world. Even our poor have it pretty good considering that the majority of the those defined as poor by the government have cars, air conditioning, televisions and even video game systems. Our problem is that we are driven by greed for those luxuries that we live on credit because we don't want to have to save our money. We want STUFF and we want it NOW.

The problems with American boil down to greed. We aren't used to being told "no." Imagine if we showed restraint. Imagine if we lived a life like God wants us to live where we weren't driven by material needs or physical pleasures. Imagine if we lived within our needs. Imagine what greatness could be done if the 99% put aside our greed and took care of our brothers and sisters. Imagine if those Occupying different places took time out and went to the soup kitchens or the homeless shelters. I think we would be living the life God intended us to live if it weren't for greed.

Comparisons Between Bishop Finn and Me

2011-10-17T06:25:00.000-05:00

It has been several days so I'm pretty sure that the news about Bishop Robert Finn of the Diocese of the Kansas City-St. Joseph was charged in Jackson County court on Friday for not releasing information about a priest being in possession of child pornography on his computer to the police.

This whole incident has bothered my from the time I first found out about and blogged about it here back in May and then finding out Friday that Bishop Finn was charged really troubled me. The question of whether or not I think he should have been charged is murky in my mind. On the face, yes, if Bishop Finn failed to come forward I think he should be charged. I just can't keep from thinking there it was a political statement from the Jackson County prosecutor. Part of it may be from seeing time and time again Jackson County prosecutors not filing charges and seeing people get away with murder---literally. Part of it is finding out that the prosecutor, Jean Peters Bakeer, is very pro-abortion. I can't help to think about where her rationale really lays. But, politics aside, the bishop failed to do what he was supposed to do. He tried to protect someone who should not have been protected. He lacked leadership. It reminds me of an incident having to do with me.

Back in the spring, my captain seemed to be on my case about many things. One of them was several of the people who work for me always being late, a couple in particular. One night, the captain came in and sure enough, one of the officers was a few minutes late. I thought I heard the door and he told me to check to see if it was the officer. I went out and they were not there. I called the officer and they said they were a couple of blocks away. I decided to cover for the officer so I went back into the room and told the captain, in front of other officers, that the late officer was out in the parking lot getting the car loaded up and that they were not late. The captain did not believe me and went out to the parking lot and caught me in my lie and saw the officer pulling into the parking lot.

I tried to cover for the officer for a couple of reasons. I didn't want the officer to get in trouble. I wanted to deal with it in my own way. And, I didn't want to face the heat myself for not having taken dealt with the officer being late in the past.

I compare it to Bishop Finn dealing with Fr. Rattigan. Perhaps--and I'm just guessing--Bishop Finn did not want Fr. Rattigan to get in trouble. Perhaps Bishop Finn wanted to deal with it in his own way. And perhaps, Bishop Finn did not want to face the heat for another pedophile priest. I did the same thing Bishop Finn did---I failed to do what I was supposed to do. I tried to protect someone who should not have been protected. And, I lacked leadership.

I got in trouble for the incident. I had to face the piper and take my lumps. But I learned from the incident. Interestingly enough, talking with my captain several months later, he told that instead of not trusting me that he probably trusts me more than anyone else because he doesn't think I'm dumb enough to do that again. I think the same goes for Bishop Finn. I think we can trust Bishop Finn because he isn't dumb enough to do that again. He has put steps in place to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Should be be charged. Yeah, maybe he needs to face his lumps like I did. I don't know. What I do know is that we should pray for Bishop Finn--he is a good man. We should pray for the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph--it has a difficult time ahead of it. And we should continue to pray for the families of St. Patrick's parish. May God heal their pain and suffering.

Bishop Finn Charged

2011-10-14T16:48:00.000-05:00

From the Kansas City Star:

Bishop Finn, diocese, indicted

By JUDY L. THOMAS, MARK MORRIS and GLENN E. RICE The Kansas City Star

The Kansas City Star

ALLISON LONG

The Jackson County prosecutor's office announced a misdemeanor charges Friday afternoon against Bishop Robert Finn and the Catholic Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph.

More News

A Jackson County grand jury has indicted Bishop Robert Finn and the Catholic Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph on misdemeanor charges of failure to report child abuse.

The charges, announced at a news conference today, make Finn — leader of the 134,000-member diocese — the highest-ranking Catholic official in the nation to face criminal prosecution in a child sexual abuse case.

The charges stemmed from the long-simmering controversy surrounding the Rev. Shawn Ratigan, who is facing child pornography charges in Clay County and federal court.

“This is a significant charge,” said Jackson County Prosecutor Jean Peters Baker. “To my knowledge, a charge like this has not been leveled before.”

In a statement, the diocese said its lawyers entered a plea of not guilty for the diocese. According to Gerald Handley and J.R. Hobbs, lawyers for Bishop Finn, the bishop also entered a plea of not guilty.

Holding Hands

2011-10-14T05:27:00.000-05:00

Since I'm on a tirade on things that bother me---let me move on to something that does not occur at that small little parish where I grew up and that I had never seen until I came to "the big city." That would be the holding of hands during the Lord's Prayer.

The priest says, "Let us pray in the words our Savior taught us" (or something along those lines) and suddenly everyone seems inclined to grab the hands of the person next to them and hold them while reciting the Lord's Prayer. It surely looks kind of comical in some ways. You have people stretching out to connect lines. People's arms are stretched to the limits. Some people are all contorted as they reach backwards to hold the hands of the person behind them or in front of them. And then it gets worse and they lift their arms up at the end.

I know I may be sounding like an old curmudgeon. Surely there are people saying, "But Jamie, it's a sign of unity. It's a beautiful thing." Poppy cock. And while you are at it. Get off my lawn!!

The first reason I don't like it is for the same reason I talked about when I was complaining about with the sign of peace. I really don't want to hold the hands of the kid who has chocolate all over his hands because his mother, in her infinite wisdom gave her kid sugar during mass and for the last twenty minutes he has been ramming his Matchbox car into the side of my shoe. (oooppps, were those your fingers I accidentally stepped on, little boy--I'm sorry) I really don't want to hold his hands. Especially after seeing him digging for bugers and wiping them underneith the pew! Not to mention that guy who evidently hasn't seen the doctor for the plague since last week gauging by the continued hacking. Hasn't he ever learned about the vampire coughing method?

But now, instead of just having to shake their hand, I am forced to hold on to it. How am I expected to pray when all I can think of is the clammy hand I'm holding. Or worse, if I'm holding hands of an attractive lady--what will she think of my clammy hands?? Not that I have to worry about that now that I'm married. Moving on. . .

Don't even get me started on the whole, "how far do I raise my hands for the last part" question. I mean seriously---how high do I raise them? Am I supposed to be lifting the kid off the ground?

The next reason I don't like it is because I don't have to do it yet I'm still expected to do it. No where in the liturgy does it say, "congregation hold hands while praying the our father." But have you ever tried to ignore the person next to you? They can be kind of persistent. So you clasp your hands together. They don't take the hint and start shaking their hand around. Next you put your head down so they can see you are in prayer so they start waving their hands in front of you. Finally you close your eyes and they have the audacity to start poking you!! I tell you what. My wife can be stubborn.

Seriously, can we stop with the silliness? If you want to put your hands out in prayer then fine. But don't make me abide by your made up liturgy shenanigans!

Sign of Peace

2011-10-12T07:14:00.003-05:00

I like my mom's priest. Why? Because he just skips right over the part of mass where we offer the "sign of peace." Heck, the first few times I didn't even notice it. Finally, I leaned over to my wife and pointed out that we didn't do it. My mom later pointed out that he never does it. Hmmmmm, so much for my police observation skills.

I like not doing it. I didn't use to have a problem with it but now I do. Evidently, I take after my Uncle Dave, who, back in the early days after Vatican II would fold his arms up as opposed to go shaking hands.

Now before you go off shaking your head and starting to wonder about me just hear me out. I have two reasons I don't like it. The first is, and I'll be the first to point out that I'm not a theologian by any means, but I think it's in the wrong part of the mass. Think about it, we are at the end of the consecration. We are about to receive Jesus in the Eucharist. All of our attention is supposed to be on Him. Suddenly, Father calls a time out and we have to start shaking hands with our neighbor--put on a little phony smile and say a dozen times, "Peace be with you." Now your hands are all sticky because the kid behind you was eating Raisenettes and I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure I guy in front of me has the plague the way he has been coughing and hacking into the very hand I just shook. He just couldn't settle for a wave or a fist bump could he? Now, my attention is on anything but Jesus. Although, I'm probably going to meet Jesus soon because of the aforementioned plague that I now have festering on my hand.

The second reason I don't like is because everyone seems to think it's social hour. People can't just be happy shaking the hands of those around them. No. They have to go all the way to the other side of the church to shake hands of friends and family members. Seriously? Mass will be over in about ten minutes. Can' you wait a minute? Heck, it hasn't been an hour since you talked last. I know, because I heard you laughing all the way over here while I was trying to pray before mass! It takes away some of the reverence at mass--something that I complained about here.

I think it would be more appropriate to have the sign of peace, if you are going to do them at all, in the opening rites. Smack dab right there at the beginning. It's like you are greeting those around you. I don't think people will feel they need to say hi to their friend who they just left a moment ago. And most importantly---you can keep your eyes on Jesus.

Do you know of theological reasons for having the sign of peace where it is? What do you think about it?

The Lack of Reverence

2011-10-11T05:31:00.000-05:00

I grew up in a small parish in Northwest Missouri. St. Paul's the Apostle is a simple little brick church. Simple wooden pews. A simple altar. A crucifix. A statue of Our Blessed Mother on the right of the sanctuary and a statue of St. Joseph on the left. Around the nave there are simple pictures of the Stations of the Cross. When I was growing up they didn't even have stained glass windows, although they do now. But when you walked into the church there was a sense of reverence to the place. The place could be packed for midnight mass(and by packed, I mean maybe 100 people?) but it was quiet. You felt comfortable kneeling down in prayer. You felt the presence of God. I think this sense of reverence is missing in a lot of larger churches.

I'm not sure how to get this sense of reverence back. I think you should be able to walk into a church and feel like you are in a church--that you are in the presence of God and not feel like you are in a school auditorium waiting for the fall play to begin. Maybe, in order to find a solution you need to look at possible causes so you can address them.

I think one reason is the design of the churches. Have you ever noticed in older churches your attention is drawn towards the sanctuary. Your attention is drawn forward and up. You attention is drawn immediately to the sanctuary and then as you look around you see images of saints or of Jesus. In modern churches you look around and you see. . . your friend Bill. "Hey Bill, what's going on??"

Which brings us to what I think a second reason for the loss of reverence, and one that I am guilty of. People not acting reverent. Now, I realize that I am listing one of the reasons that people don't act reverent is . . . people not acting reverent. But, I think we affect each other. If we go in someplace we tend to reflect how everyone else is acting. If I'm chit chatting then you are more likely to chit chat. If I don't genuflect towards the tabernacle then you are less likely to. If I grab Jesus and run after communion, you are more likely to do the same.

I believe my parish is a good example of design affecting how people act and I think the cause can go back to the beginning of the parish in the mid-80's. When it was built, there was the main worship space, a small gathering area and offices down stairs. Since there were no class rooms, it was designed with no pews. Instead they had stackable chairs (with no kneelers) that could be moved around between masses in order to makes small class room areas for Sunday school or whatever type of meeting they were having. So I think people became accustomed to the worship space being a meeting space.

Since then, they've built classrooms, painted the ceiling sky blue, put in stained glass windows and now have a large crucifix. The problem is, the parish has grown so big that they had to knock out the wall between the worship space and the gathering space so it is in essence a combination gathering space/worship space. Have you ever tried praying by sitting down while people all around you are chit chatting about their week?

I'm am glad we stayed. I love the people. It is a great family parish and we are trying to build a new church that hopefully will remedy some of the aesthetic problems I'm talking about and bring about more reverence.In the mean time---I guess it begins with me. I am, after all, the only person I can really control. I guess I need to help by setting an example instead of talking with Bill.

What about you---does your parish have problems with people talking before mass or showing a lack of reverence? Has your parish had this issue and what did they do to correct it?

Faithful Friends

2011-10-04T19:36:00.000-05:00

In a few months, I am going to traveling to the National Catholic Youth Conference in Indianapolis with a bunch of high school teens from my parish. The kids designed a parish t-shirt to wear as a group on one of the days of the conference. They are bright florescent green shirts. On the back is a cross and the writing, "NCYC 2011 . . . And remember I am with you always to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20." On the front they say, "Faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth."

I saw a couple of the teens wearing them at our parish picnic a couple weeks ago and thought about the phrase on the front. "Faithful friends are beyond price." My first thoughts were that of course it is good to have friends who are faithful and loyal to you. No one wants to have a friend that they can't trust or who will talk about them behind their back. No. You want a friend who is going to be there when you are in need. You want a friend who you can talk to. A friend who has your back.

And then it struck me--faithful friends who are beyond price goes way beyond someone who isn't going to tell your deepest darkest secrets. Faithful friends are friends with faith. Once I realized this the second part of the phrase, "no amount can balance their worth" made even more sense. A friend with faith is someone who is going to be more loyal to God than to you. This means that they are going to have your best interest at heart because they will want to see you in Heaven along side of them. They are going to have the fortitude to tell you that you are doing something wrong.

The image of the men who carried their friend, the paralytic to Jesus and lowered him through the hole in the ceiling is what I always have in mind. That is the type of friend I want to be--someone who will carry my friends to Jesus no matter how difficult. And that's the type of friends I want to have. Someone who is a good model for me and who is willing to tear a roof in a ceiling and go through whatever difficulty they may face to get me to Jesus.

This doesn't mean that you can only be friends with the best Christians. You can still be friends with atheists. You can still be friends with people of different faiths. Heck, you can even be friends with protestants. ;-) You may just have to be more careful with friends who do not share your faith in God. They may be great people who live in ways that are pleasing to God. On the other hand, they may profess to be Christian and not living in a way that is pleasing to God. You just have to be careful with friends who are more faithful to themselves or even more faithful to you than they are to God. You may be put in an awkward situation where you have to tell your friend that you can't do something with them or that their behavior is not something that you approve of.

There is a saying that a good friend will bond you out of jail. A fantastic friend will be sitting next to you in jail cell saying, "that was awesome!" Well, I say that a true, fantastic, faithful friend is one what will be sitting next to you in Heaven saying, "isn't this awesome?"

Changes are Not Coming

2011-10-03T05:05:00.000-05:00

Last week, Facebook made some changes that cause quite the uproar. People were crazy and upset. Some said they were leaving for Google + and others were just leaving social networking all together. I kind of chuckled. After playing around with the changes for a little bit, I came to the conclusion that they were not that awful. I also thought it was funny because it seems to be a cycle. Facebook makes changes periodically and it seems like every six to eight months they make a change makes everyone angry. They want Facebook to go back to the way it was. They form groups and start petitions. They never seem to realize that they Facebook they want back is the same one they were ranting and railing about six months ago after the last changes.

Things change. Especially in today's technology driven world. When I joined the police department in 1998 all you needed to do to get into service at the begining of your shift was grab the car keys and a radio. Now, you need no less than 8 log-ins/passwords and it takes about thirty minutes to get in service at the beginning of the night and about ten minutes to log off of everything at the end of your shift.

Even things in the Church changes. In a couple of months, we are going to see lots of changes in the mass. The words of prayers will changes. Songs will change. What we say in response will change. There is a lot of time and effort getting people ready for these changes. But, what I love about the Catholic Church is that while, yes, some things do change, the basic fundamentals of the church do not change and have not changed in two thousand years.

When it comes to facts about faith and morals the Church does not change her stance because these are truths given to us by God and truths do not change. What was wrong in the times of the apostles is still wrong today. This is very important in today's world where society is always changing.

Other religions do change what they believe based on what society tells them. There are some things that most protestant religions taught were wrong eighty years ago but today they say is perfectly okay. On a practical basis, this does not make sense. How can something be wrong today but okay tomorrow? Society makes changes on what it wants to do, on what is easy and what "feels good." God never promised that things would be easy. In fact, He repeatedly says that things will be difficult.

So, Facebook may change your news feed and add time lines. Technology may making things more difficult instead of easy. But the Church does not change truth---it cannot change truth--just because society tells her she should. Reason #13,682 why I love the Roman Catholic Church.

Moon Gazing

2011-09-16T04:14:00.004-05:00

This week there has been a full moon out. Normally, as a cop, I curse under my breath when there is a full moon. It is a sure sign that it is going to be crazy at work. But I was not working this night and I just sat there thinking about the moon and the thought crossed my mind that the moon has been in the sky for as long as man-kind has been here. Every human being has looked upon the moon. Perhaps, Jesus looked up at the moon as He prayed in agony to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane. He eyes cast on the same object that my eyes were looking upon at that moment. I felt a connection to Jesus and to all of mankind.

My mind took it a step further and realized that we all have a bigger connection to each other than having looked at the moon or the sun (although, I wouldn't suggest looking at the sun for too long.) We, as Christians, are all parts of the Body of Christ. We are all connected. When one of us is happy, we should all be happy. When one of us is sad, we should all be sad.

That is the way we are supposed to be. We are supposed to take care of each other. You know, the whole clothe the naked and feed the hungry thing. It's not just because it is the socially correct thing to do. It's because we are all brothers and sisters made in the image and likeness of God and not just spawn from some primordial ooze with similar DNA. We are connected.

We don't always act like that though. Because of sin, we are so wrapped up in ourselves that we not only lift up each other but we knock each other down. Often just so we can lift ourselves up. We see others as objects and not as humans. But that's not how we are supposed to be. Fortunately, through the grace of God, we are reminded of how we are supposed to be and because of that grace of God we act the way we are supposed to act. Don't fool yourself and think goodness comes for you.

So, next time you look at the moon or feel the sun shine basking down on you, think of the connection you have with all of humanity and ask yourself if you are acting like you have that connection.

To Kneel or Not To Kneel

2011-08-16T23:58:00.007-05:00

To kneel or not to kneel. On the tongue or in the hand. That is the question. A couple weeks ago, Catholic "shock-jock" Michael Voris posted a video on RealCatholicTV.com about kneeling for communion and taking the Eucharist in the hand vs on the tongue. It's something that I, a Catholic who grew up post Vatican II and who has never received on the tongue has pondered.

In the video, Voris contends that Cardinal Llovera, a big-wig at the Vatican for all of you non-geeky Catholics out there, states that everyone should receive communion on the tongue and while kneeling. Voris goes on to say that priests could use this a teaching moment and bring back some of the reverence that has been lost towards the Eucharist. Apologist Jimmy Aiken responded in his podcast acknowledging that receiving communion while kneeling and on the tongue is what he prefers but contests some of the things that Mr. Voris says.

Several years ago, I started genuflecting prior to receiving communion instead of just bowing. I felt that it was more appropriate than bowing. After all, this IS Jesus. If He was in front of us in human form I expect we would all be on our hands and knees. But, I stopped after six months or so because wanted to be more "in community" with the other parishioners that go to my church. I admit, I also didn't want to appear to be more pious. (Believe me---I'm no more pious than anyone else) Here is the thing about my parish, it is a very liberal parish. I expect less than 1 % of the parishioners take communion on the tongue. We do not have kneelers so, we stand during the consecration. (I don't think it was due to the design of the church and not because of anyone trying to make statements) So, I would feel really out of place taking communion on the tongue, much less kneeling.

The thing is, I totally understand what Voris is saying. I even agree with much of what he is saying. I believe to kneel and to take communion on the tongue with a paten underneath is the way we should be receiving communion. I also totally understand that standing and in the hand is perfectly allowable. That's not my argument or my quandary.

My question is this, should I go on, bowing and receiving communion in the hand while standing. Or, should I start kneeling and receiving on the tongue? Especially, in a parish where "alter-rail" is spoken with disdain? I could serve as an example and be a reminder of who we are receiving. There is also the dilemma of confounding the Eucharistic Minister who doesn't know what to do as experienced by Danielle Bean when she gave up taking communion on the tongue. Then, if I do decide to take communion on the tongue--how the heck do I do it. I don't mean, should I go to the priest or whatever. I mean how--like how far do I stick out my tongue--if at all.

Do you take communion on the tongue? Think it's gross? What do you think?

Mark Hart Explains the New Translation of the Mass

2011-08-12T08:13:00.002-05:00

Word for Word [Teens] from Life Teen on Vimeo.

Endurance and an Encouraging Mother

2011-08-11T00:34:00.000-05:00

My teenage daughter Emma has had probably the busiest two weeks of her life the last couple of weeks. Last week she was at horse camp for Girl Scouts--spending the whole week outside during the hottest weather in the last thirty years in horse stables. This week she has band camp (she is in color guard) from 8am to 5pm and then golf practice for the school golf team from 6:30 pm until 9:00 pm. This may just be typical activity for a lot of teenagers and, having grown up in a small town around a lot of farm kids I realize this type of activity would be like a vacation to some. But we are talking about a typical suburban fifteen year old girl who normally spends most of her summer days sleeping until noon. It's been a busy and tiring couple of weeks for her.

This morning I was awakened at 8 am by my wife Abby trying to get Emma out the door. Poor Emma was still half asleep and sore from flinging her flag around, marching, and whacking at golf balls all evening long. I think it would have been easier moving a two ton boulder than getting Emma to move. She wanted to stay home and sleep. She wanted to quit band. There was no moving her. But Abby was there, patiently talking to her. Telling her that she needed to get up. Telling Emma that she needed to fulfill her obligation. She just needed to put her other shoe on and put one foot in front of another and walk out the door. After all, it was going to be a beautiful day out and she could do it. If I would have taken the blanket off of my head and looked I probably would have seen a halo around Abby because she was behaving saintly.

I laid there thinking what a wonderful spiritual model was going on in front of me. We work hard on our spiritual life and for whatever reason we get in a rut or we just become stubborn and don't want to go on. It is too difficult to be Christian and to live our life the way Jesus wants us to. It's much easier to lay there and be spiritual slothful. It's much easier to be sinful. It's much easier, it seems, to turn our backs on God than it is to follow Him.

And who is standing there with us encouraging us to get up when we become like that?? Our Mother. The Blessed Virgin Mary is always there with us to tell us to get our butts up and to go follow her son. Mary is there to hold our hand and to tell us we can do it because we are not doing it alone. She knows that it isn't always easy to follow Jesus. After all, she followed Him all the way to the foot of the cross. But, because she saw her son hanging there she knows how much He loves us and why we need to keep on the path to Him as opposed to the one we want to take.

There is a reason Jesus gave us His mother. (John 19: 26-27) Jesus knew there would be hard and difficult times when we would need a mother's love in order to make it. Just like we need our own mothers to push us, to motivate us and to encourage us, Jesus gave us His mother in order to point us to Him.

Love and Sacrifice

2011-08-10T02:37:00.006-05:00

Last Friday night, my son Max--who is 11 years old--and I were supposed to go on a Boy Scout camp out. I, by no means, am an outdoorsman. But Max would much rather stay inside than go outside, especially when it's hot out. So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, I finally decided to leave him at home and went on the camp out as an adult leader.

I grew up in scouting. My grandfather was the town's Cubmaster for years so it was natural that I would join when I came of age. I went through the ranks. Earned my Arrow of Light and became a Boy Scout. Our troop was small but I went to Camp Geiger and was inducted into the tribe of Mic-O-Say and given that name "Little Black Parchment"---named after my grandpa who was "Black Parchment." I rose to the rank of Firebuilder in the tribe and have many memories of Geiger and Mic-O-Say. I went through the scouting ranks. I turned in my package for Eagle Scout before I left for Marine Corps boot camp. Sadly, my scoutmaster never turned it in and I never followed up so I did not get this prestigious award.

Several years ago, when Max started first grade, I signed him up Cub Scouts. I was then that I realized how much scouting had made me into the person I became. As a son of a single mom, scouting truly helped me become a man. I loved it! I couldn't wait to share the experiences with Max and foresaw him learning the same things that I did.

Max isn't your typical eleven year old boy though. Max is unique. Max has certain tendencies and can be socially awkward. Because of these tendencies and awkwardness, Max does not enjoy scouting. He doesn't like camping in the summer when it's hot outside. He doesn't get along with the other boys and he is just bored with it. I've tried to encourage him, bribe and and convince him that it's a way for him and I to spend time together.

Last Friday the situation reached a boiling point though and we butted heads. He refused to go. I forced him and we weren't even to the meeting place before I turned around and took him home, broken hearted. I'd been looking forward to spending time with him on this camp out with him and I've come to the conclusion that if I wish to stay involved in Boy Scouts as a leader it may have to be without him.

I love Max. He's my only boy. And I really wanted to share Boy Scouts with him and he's rejected it.

When we love people, we are supposed to give them all of our love. We are supposed to do whatever we can to make them happy, to help them become better people, and to help them get to Heaven. What happens when they reject what we offer them? What happens when you disagree? What happens when you are fighting and you cannot reach a compromise without someone being hurt?

It's a difficult situation. Love calls for sacrifice. We don't always get what we want. Sometimes love hurts. Sacrificing what makes us happy in order to make someone we love happy can be brutally painful. This weekend, I felt like my heart had been pierced with a lance.

That's the time when we have to look towards Jesus as a model. He made the ultimate sacrifice. He suffered. He was physically tortured. He gave his life for us to show us the love He has for us. If you want a model of what love is, you only have to look at a crucifix.

So, I made a decision this weekend that I didn't want to make. I had to relent in order to show my love. I'm not trying to make myself look pious or make myself into a martyr. After all, many times the sacrifices we make for love go unnoticed. That's okay. We do it for love not for notoriety.

ON GUARD!

2011-08-02T14:03:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday evening, I was on the way to mass with my family and I ran out of gas about a mile from church (and about 2 blocks past two gas stations.) I posted about the event on Facebook and jokingly said that it was Satan's fault. The next evening, I did make it to mass at another church and this time I posted that God won. Now, obviously Satan didn't have anything to do with me missing mass. It was my own stupidity for not getting gas when I knew I was low. But that doesn't mean that Satan wasn't pleased that I missed mass. It doesn't mean that the devil doesn't do everything that he can to make us turn away from God. It doesn't mean that it's not a victory for God whenever we turn towards Him, everytime we do good or everytime we love.

Joe at the Defend Us In Battle blog made a post a couple of weeks ago about why it is important to be "battle minded." He points out that we are in a constant state of spiritual warfare, whether we want to believe it or not. He says that from every stop light to the check out counter at the grocery store we are tempted into sin.

This is an important reminder and one we constantly need to be reminded of. The minute we don't think of ourselves as under attack is when Satan strikes. It's what he is looking for. It's the prime opportunity for. He loves it when we think that he doesn't exist. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The devil does exist. We are in a constant state of battle. We have amazing weapons though. We have the church. We have the sacraments. The Bible. The rosary. And most importantly, we have God on our side. Too often, it seems almost like the devil wants us more because he works on us so much. The truth is, we turn away from God and try to make our own decisions. .

So what do we do? Turn to God, obviously. Through prayer. Mass. Reconciliation. Through these means, God gives us the grace to fight the devil and resist temptation. But we should still always be on guard so we can kick the devil's butt (with God's help of course)

Boogity, Boogity, Boogity!

2011-07-28T17:30:00.001-05:00

Last Saturday, Pastor Joe Nelms of the Family Baptist Church in Lebanon, TN gave the invocation before the NASCAR Nationwide Federated Auto Parts 300 race in Nashville. Let's just say that the prayer was was not your typical prayer. Pastor Nelms thanked God for all things from the different makes of the cars to different teams. From the gas to the tires and most importantly, in Ricky Bobby fashion---for his "smoking hot wife." The full text of the prayer can be read here:

"Heavenly father, we thank you tonight for all your blessings you sent and all things give thanks. So we want to thank you tonight for these mighty machines that you brought before us. Thank you for the Dodges and the Toyotas. Thank you for the Fords. And most of all we thank you for Roush and Yates partnering to give us the power that we see before us tonight. Thank you for GM performance technology and RO7 engines. Thank you for Sunoco racing fuel and Goodyear tires that bring performance and power to the track. Lord, I want to thank you for my smoking' hot wife tonight, Lisa. And my two children, Eli and Emma or as we like to call 'em, the little Es. Lord, I pray you bless the drivers and use them tonight. May they put on a performance worthy of this great track. In Jesus name, boogity boogity boogity, Amen."

Pastor Nelms' prayer has sparked a wide variety of responses. Many people say that it's the "best prayer ever!" other say that Pastor Nelms was putting attention on him and not on God. Others say that the prayer is irreverent or disgraceful. Pastor Nelms stated in the Christian Post that he was trying to be like the apostle Paul and be "all things to all men." Pastor Nelms stated he was trying to reach out to non-Christians. Pastor Nelms stated, "Our whole goal was to open doors that would not otherwise be open. There are a lot of folks who think churches are all [full of] serious people who never enjoy life and [who have] just a list of rules.”

Obviously, no one knows Pastor Nelms' true intentions except for Pastor Nelms and God. Some might say that it doesn't matter. Some might say that you don't speak to God that way or that it was blasphemous. If it was Pastor Nelms' true intention just to be on stage and make people laugh and bring attention to himself then I would agree that it was blasphemous and wrong. For the sake of argument, I'm going to say that his intentions were true.

First of all, I think you have to take the venue into account. A prayer you might hear at a NASCAR race would probably be a little different than a prayer that you would hear at mass. Just like anything, you have to take your surroundings into consideration. I would be aghast if someone tried to put humor into the Eucharistic prayer. But I think inserting a little humor into prayer at a race or with youth is acceptable, IMHO.

Second of all, there are many forms of prayer. You might have your formal prayers, such at the Lord's Prayer or Hail Mary. There are spontaneous prayers like those you may say at a gathering with several people And then there is conversational prayer where you talk just like you are talking to a friend . . . or a father.

Finally, there are different reasons for prayer. There are prayers of adoration, thanksgiving, or petitions. Or, in the case of conversational prayer, we pray so that we become closer to God. Another reason is so that people who may not normally be exposed to God are brought before Him.

So, we have Pastor Nelms praying before a race using a combination of spontaneous/conversational prayer and, among other reasons, trying to bring people to God. Was he, in part, performing for the audience? Yes, but isn't that what many protestant ministers do every Sunday? But to say that he was doing so in order to bring attention to himself and not God is a little presumptuous.

What do you guys think? Did Pastor Nelms cross the line or was this a fantastic prayer?

Together Time

2011-07-27T06:14:00.008-05:00

As the years go by, it becomes more and more difficult. Life gets busy. There are distractions. There are reasons not too.   There are other things to do. But to do so is foolish. To do so makes things more difficult. That is why, I think one of the most important things to do as a married couple is to spend time together.    It's important to spend time with anyone you care for. It's important to make time for prayer.

My wife and I have been married for 18 years. For 13 of those years, I've worked overnight hours. I've worked off duty jobs. There have been times that it has felt that we are two ships passing in the night as we hand off the kids for the other to watch.   And then, when we are home together we are doing other things. We are in seperate rooms.   I can see how couples grow apart.

That's why is is so important to make time for each other. It's been made easier ever since our oldest child became responsible enough to stay home with the other two kids. It's easier for us to go to dinner together or to make a date night with each other. Or we would go to lunch with each other on days I wasn't sleeping. At the very least we tried to just spend time talking about our day.   I think if we hadn't done these things we would have grown apart.

That's not to say that there can't be improvements. There are times when we are just so busy that it's difficult to even get a phone conversation in. I know I need to work on giving her my full attention when we are together. (Yes! That means I need to put the phone down, and get off of Facebook and stop texting---I know that)

The same goes with God. I don't know how I expect to nurture a relationship with Him when I continously fail to make time for prayer with him.   Going to mass every Saturday evening just isn't cutting it. I have to develop and work on my prayer life. I need to set aside time to be with God and to listen to what He has to say to me that day.

I love Abby very much.   Most nights all I want to do is get to the end of my shift so I can go home to her.   Sadly, there are other times, when I take her for granted and don't appreciate what I have.   The same goes for God although it is normally the opposite. I take Him for granted most of the time and don't appreciate Him. And then there are other times when I have great prayer moments and want to spend more time with Him.

The bottom line is---we have to nurture our relationships with those that we love.   We need to tend to them and ensure that our loved ones know how we feel. We need to spend time with them.   Otherwise, it becomes easy to take them for granted.

Planking

2011-07-26T15:45:00.000-05:00

From The Deacon's Bench:

Buried Treasure--17th Sunday of Ordinary Time

2011-07-23T15:27:00.000-05:00

When you think of buried treasure, we think of pirates and maps and gold doubloons. We think of treasure maps where "X" marks the spot! We certainly don't think Heaven and the life hereafter. In this Sunday's gospel, Jesus compares Heaven to buried treasure that a man finds in a field. He says that the man and the merchant sell everything that they have in order that they may have these great items. Imagine, selling everything you have for one single item. That's a heck of an investment! That buried treasure had better be pretty valuable.

So Jesus is giving us that treasure map with the "X" clearly marked. He is telling us where the most valuable treasure is.   He is even willing to walk us to the treasure. That is how valuable Heaven is and that's how much He wants us to find it. That's how we should see it. That nothing on this Earth is as valuable as Heaven is.   And it's ours. Jesus paid the price for us so that we could have it. He is giving us this wonderful gift.  He's giving us the gift of eternal happiness. He is giving us the opportunity to spend eternity in his loving embrace where we will not want for anything.

We don't cherish this treasure that Jesus bought for us though.   We tend to squander it away for nothing.   Every time we sin it is like we are telling God that the gift that Jesus got for us is not important enough.  We would rather spread rumors about our boss or co-workers. We would rather experience anger and jealousy.    We prefer to get drunk or look at porn. We are telling him that these temporary pleasures are more valuable to us that He is.

What fools we are. Nothing on this Earth is worth our salvation. No one should be more important to us than our souls. Yet, time and time again, we risk everything for these temporal pleasures.   And it's not like Jesus doesn't warn us what will happen. In the same passage, He tells us that in the end times the angels will sort through the wicked and righteous and throw the wicked into the fires of Hell.    We read that and still pick Earthly pleasures.

So what do we need to do? We need to put down the treasure map that society gives us and realize it that it is only going to lead us to fool's gold. Temporary pleasures that will go away with the tide. We need to pick up the map that Jesus has given us. Don't get scared off by the path we have to take because yes, it is going to be perilous.   We have other aids besides the map to help us to the "X." We have the church. We have scripture. We have the sacraments. And most of all . . . we have Jesus showing us the way. We just have to make sure we are reading the correct map.

A Call to Hear Confessions

2011-07-20T05:06:00.000-05:00

Anyone who has read this blog or who knows me knows that I am a fan of confession. I'm such a little geek that I even have an Excel spreadsheet listing all of the parishes nearby with their times for reconcilliation. (To be fair, I also have the times for daily mass as well as adoration on there.) One thing that has bothered me for awhile is how seldom the sacrament of reconcilliation is offered in many parishes. I would like to challenge priests to encourage confession and to offer it more frequently.

I've heared it said that parishes that only offer confession once a week aren't really offering confession and I would tend to agree. Looking and my fancy little spreadsheet, I looked at all of the Catholic churchs in the northland in Kansas City and figured out that on average they offer confession for one hour a week. That's only an average, so some churches offer it more and some offer it less.

I think for many Catholics, confession has gotten a bad rap. They make their kids go before their first communion and that's it. But if it's important enough to send your child, isn't it important for you to go? They may go to a communial reconcillation service during the advent or lenten season. But I doubt they would let six months or a year go by without cleaning their kitchen or bathroom. So why would you let that much time go by before cleaning your soul.   Others don't believe it is necessary at all. They believe they can go right to Jesus and don't need to go to a priest. But that's not what the church teaches. I would challenge anyone who believes that to find out what the church teaches. You can off by reading my blog, "Ten Reasons for Going to Confession."

So many people don't realize the importance of confession.   They don't realize that you cannot take communion if you are in a state of mortal sin without being first reconcilled. Or worst yet, they don't realize that if they are not in a state of grace and they die then they are not getting into heaven.   Yet, we don't hear confession being taught from the pulpit. We aren't being told how important it is. I think the lack of confession times tells the laity that it isn't important.

I realize that priests are busy and have a lot of things on their plate. I'm not suggesting that they sit in the confessional all day long. The churches that I know that do offer frequent confession offer it 15-30 minutes before daily mass as well as the weekends. The priest has to be there anyway for mass so what's an extra half an hour?   I know of a church that offers it 5:30pm on a Wednesday night as well as other times throughout the week. But it's publicized that if there is no one around when confession starts then father will leave.

If found it interesting that when I do go to a parish that only offers confession on Saturday afternoon that there isn't normally many people there.   On the other hand, the parishes that do offer it frequently normally have 5-10 people in line.   Now, either the parishoners in the first church are pure and don't sin or they just aren't educated about how important confession is.

Priests!!! Take care of your flock! Hear their confessions! Absolve them of their sins. That's my challenge

How often does your parish offer confessions? Would you go more often if it was offered more frequently??

Goals

2011-07-18T09:15:00.000-05:00

Okay, I've been slacking. Not only on this blog, as you can tell, but also in my physical and spirtual life.

Therefore; I'm setting some goals and to help keep myself accountable, I am taking a page from my sister, Maggie. She has been posting her weight loss (way to go, Maggie--or should I say "weight to go!") on her blog and am going to post how I'm doing on my blog. I' think it'll be an incentive for me to actually reach these goals if I have to post in a public way how I've succeeded or failed.

So, in regard to my blog, I'm going to try to make 2-3 posts a week. I've found when I blog I do better in my spirtual life.

Also, in my spirtual life my goals are:
*fifteen minutes of meditative prayer, in addition to morning and evening prayer
*make one holy hour and/or weekly mass a week
*confession once a month

In my physical life:
*CrossFit four times a week. I've been slacking real bad since January and I'm feeling myself lose the gains I made---or is it "gaining the losses I've made
*eating healthier--we've slipped back into our eating out A LOT lifestyle and it's just getting too expensive. So, I'm going to do better as far as planning my means, which ensures that I eat healthier.

Sooooooooo, I guess I'll report back next Monday---we'll see. Those of you who know how to get ahold of me. . . . I'm holding you accountable for holding me accountable. :-)

Cloudy Days and Sunny Days

2011-06-13T09:39:00.000-05:00

I went out to mow and do other yard work this morning but I had to come back inside because it started to rain. It's a nice dark dreary cloudy day outside. The type of day that makes you just want to go inside, curl up and take a nap. I find it interesting how weather can affect a person's mood. People tend to be happier when it's a nice sunny day outside or they are down and depressed when the weather is gloomy. I should not be surprised though. It's interesting how a bad mood can not only be perpetual but it can go viral.

I have no idea how many times I've taken the kids to school and they are down in the dumps and grumpy and I ask them what is wrong with them and they tell me, "today is going to be the worst day of my life!" Why?? "It just is!" They have not even gotten to school yet and they have already decided that the day is going to be bad. Then I try to convince them to go inside with a smile on their face and see what happens. It may end up being a good day.

Oh, but if I would only heed my own advice. I have no idea how many times I've gone to work thinking, "blahhhhhhh----Tonight is my first night back to work. I don't want to be here. I'd rather be at home. I can think of a million other places I'd rather be at then here." And lo and behold--that attitude carries through and the night ends up being bad. It's not bad because of anything that happens or what anyone does to me. It's bad because I made it bad myself.

Then the problem arises in that misery loves company. You go into work with a bad attitude and you tend to gravitate towards someone else with a bad attitude and next thing you know, you are complaining to each other about how bad things are and you start building on each other's bad day. You start feeding on each other's negativity. You start tearing other people down. You start gossiping. Then, like a whirlpool, you start bringing other people in who aren't having a bad day and put them in bad moods. You start creating drama.

Then, that bad morning, turns into a bad day and before you know it, morale is low and the work environment is just a bad place to be. Before you know it, no one wants to work there. Why? Because, while people will do a lot for a paycheck, in the end, they just want to be happy.

There may be a lot of outside influences that cause a bad work environment. Such as not getting a pay raise and the city is after your other benefits. There may be bosses who make things difficult for you for whatever reason. The higher ups impose policies and procedures that make your job more difficult. Things that other people do are out of your control. You can not let what other people do influence your attitude.

One of my favorite stories is told my St. Therese of Lisieux. There was a nun in the convent who was really mean and rude to St. Therese and naturally, St Therese did not have a high opinion of this nun. But she showed nothing but love and compassion towards this lady. Finally, one day, the nun came to Therese and asked, "why is it that you love me so." In reality, Therese could not stand the lady. But she let the love of Christ shine through her.

That is what we have to do. We have to let Christ shine through us. Perhaps we need to stop what we are doing and make a conscious decision to have a good attitude. Perhaps we need to actually make ourselves physically smile and put on an outward sign of happiness. It's amazing how many times that outward appearance works it's way inside and makes us happy. Maybe we need to go to Our Lord in prayer and say, "Lord, I'm having a bad day. Let your love work through me and make everyone happy." Another thing to do is to dedicate everything we do to God.

We should not go through life all gloomy and sullen. We were made to be happy. God wants us to be happy. It's the Devil who wants us sad. Don't let the Devil win. Be happy.

Diocesan Changes

2011-06-09T14:59:00.000-05:00

Bishop Finn announced today a five point plan to deal with the sexual scandals that have recently plagued the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph. They are

Immediate appointment of Todd Graves, former U.S. Attorney (and from my hometown), to conduct an independent investigation of events, policies and procedures.
Appointment of an independent public liaison and ombudsman to field and investigate any reports of suspicious or inappropriate behavior.
Reaffirmation of current diocesan policy and immediate commencement of an independent review of the polices for Ethical Codes of Conduct and Sexual Misconduct.
An in-depth review of diocesan personnel training regarding the Ethical Codes of Conduct and the policy on Sexual Misconduct.
Continued cooperation with local law enforcement.

Image from KMBC.com

I think these are good places to start. Having outside and independent investigators is a huge step in being transparent and ensuring that situations are not swept under the rug. That's why diocesan officials should have given the investigation to the Shawn Ratigan case to local law enforcement in the first place. Then all of the blame is off of your shoulders and on someone else. I also think having an outside and independent person doing the investigation means more honesty. Let's face it, it's difficult to be totally honest with ourselves sometimes, especially when being critical. Sometimes it is best to have someone look at us and be frank.

I am glad Bishop Finn is making these changes and is one reason that I was not calling for his immediate removal or to give him a vote of no confidence. If there are problems in the diocese then I think someone who has been embarrassed by the mistakes and had his feet held to the flames is more likely to make those changes than someone who comes in from the outside. This has to be just the first step in the changes. Bishop Finn must follow through and make sure these changes are truly implemented.

I still stand by my belief in Saturday's post on Righteous Anger. I hope by bringing in Mr. Graves a thorough investigation will be done into the mistakes made in the Rattigan case and by doing so the people who covered it up are located and fired and if need be criminally charged no matter how far up it goes.

Bishop Finn will be remembered by this incident for good or for bad. His legacy will be forever linked to Shawn Rattigan and how he handled that case. He can be remembered as the bishop who failed the children he was supposed to protect or as someone who formed a model that other diocese can take the lead from.

The World Needs Ditch Diggers

2011-06-08T11:54:00.000-05:00

It is interesting how people look at professions. Take mine for instance. There are many out there who think that police work is a noble profession. After all, the police are out there putting their life on the line protecting the innocent and saving lives. There are others out there who think that police work is beneath them. They may just dislike the police or can't imagine having to work in the "trenches" getting dirty and bloody. There are all types of jobs and careers out there--blue collar and white collar. All of them have their pros and cons. Someone working in an office environment might be comfortable. They make good money and work inside where they have creature comforts such as heating and air conditioning. But they may work under a lot of stress to make deadlines or have to work long hours. On the other hand, a carpenter or a bricklayer may have to work outside in the environment and not make as much money but they may be happier because they enjoy what they do.

Society needs this broad spectrum of people and careers. We need the lawyers and politicians and bankers just like we needs cooks and fisherman and teachers. They all have their rolls in society. Heck, there are even different rolls in an organization. More people go into building a house than carpenters, plumbers and electricians. There are foremen, architects, inspectors and lenders. We are all pieces in a bigger puzzle.

This is important to remember as we are also pieces and parts of the Body of Christ. From the pope all the way down to Joe the Plumber sitting in the pew--we are all members of the Mystical Body of Christ. As such, we each have our own roles to play and given different graces. St. Paul says of our different graces, "if prophecy, in proportion to the faith; if ministry, in ministering; if one is a teacher, in teaching; if one extorts, in exhortation; if one contributes, in generosity; if one is over others, in diligence; if one does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. (Roman 12:6-8)

So the role that God may have for me in my life may not be the same that he has given to a bishop in China or someone working at Catholic Worker house. This doesn't mean God doesn't trust me as much or love me any less. It's just a different role. A different mission from God. This is why we need to take care of each other. This is why we need to be uplifting to each other. We must help each other out because they whole body needs to remain healthy. If one part is ailing then we are all ailing. This is why we cannot look down upon anyone. God loves us all.

So next time you are walking into the local Quik Trip and you bump into someone on their way to their job, don't see them as a construction worker or a businessman. See them as a brother or sister in Christ who has a job just as important as yours.

Righteous Anger

2011-06-04T14:51:00.001-05:00

The Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph is in the middle of another priest scandal and I for one am angry. Not so much because of the scandal of what the priest did. Every organization is going to have people who mess up, who are criminals and how tarnish an organizations reputation. I am angry because of the scandal the diocese created when it failed to do anything with this priest. I've defended the church over the years saying that she has learned from the mistakes of the past and put protections in place to protect her children. But, in my opinion, the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph acted like it was pre-2001 and protected a priest instead of protecting the innocent. This has only tarnished the Roman Catholic Church, the priesthood and I believe that heads should roll and people charged criminally.

A little background---in December, 2010 a computer technician working on Fr. Shawn Ratigan's computer found pornographic images of young girls. He turned the information over to church officials at St. Patrick's church who in turn gave the computer to diocesan officials. Those officials failed to turn the matter over to police authorities. Instead, they asked a police official--who was serving on a committee in the diocese--for his opinion. Only they held back the information. They told him they had a single image of a girl and described it. Based on how they described it--the police official advised that it wasn't pornography.

The day after the information was given to the diocese, Mr. Ratigan (I'm sorry, I can't dignify him and call him "Fr. Ratigan) attempted suicide. He was sent out of state for treatment and then placed at a residence in Independence with certain instructions to avoid young children. He disobeyed and went to the St. Patrick's Day Parade as well as a child's birthday party.

It was then that the police official was recontacted and he advised the diocese to file a report with the department's cyber crime unit. In the investigation, they found more pornographic images of young girls. Mr. Ratigan was then charged in Clay County with possessing pornographic images of children taken around churches and schools where he served. He has plead not guilty.

It took church officials five months to file a criminal report. It get's worse. A year ago in May, Julie Hess, the principal of the school where Mr. Ratigan was working sent a letter to the diocese expressing her concerns of the inappropriate behavior displayed by Mr. Ratigan towards children. Behavior such as allowing kids to reach into his pocket for candy, allowing kids to cuddle with him and sit on his lap, having stuffed animals in his apartment as well as taking lots of photographs of children.

The diocese vicar general, Msgr Robert Murphy, met with Mr. Ratigan and discussed the items with him and set guidelines.

I'm sorry but that was wrong. I sincerely hope that Msgr Murphy was just incredibly naive because those warnings that Ms. Hess gave should have shot up red flags. They are the types of things that should make cold chills go down the back of any parent along with bells, whistles and alarms screaming. I, as a parent, would not allow my kids around someone like that.

I am so angry at the behavior of diocesan officials. Steps should have been taken. The lack of follow up and attempts to cover up have damaged the church. They put children at risk. Responsibility starts at the top with Bishop Robert Finn. He has admitted his failings saying that he himself did not actually read the memo given to Msgr Murphy and that he regretted not going to the police in December. Ultimately, the buck stops with Bishop Finn and I honestly hope he was not given the information that he should have been given. I'm not convinced that he should step down as some are calling for.

I do believe that heads should roll. I believe people should be fired. I think people should be charged criminally for not taking information to the police. Obviously, there was doubt or they would not have contacted the police official. Obviously, there was cover up or else they would not have only revealed one image. I would be willing to bet that if given more information, the police official would have given the the advice he gave in May---to file a report and allow a full investigation be done.

I'm angry and I believe rightfully so. I'm do not mean ill will towards anyone. Mr. Ratigan is who he is--that's between him and God and I'm holding my tongue about what I'd really like to say about him. The people who I am saying should be fired made mistakes. Everyone makes them. They just should not be allowed to remain in their position and allowed to make them again.

None of this takes away from my faith in God or the Catholic Church. I'm not leaving Peter because of Judas. But steps MUST be taken to ensure this does not occur again.

First Communion

2011-05-10T18:44:00.000-05:00

Sunday was my daughter Molly's first communion and it was pretty stressful event. Not just because of the planning or the celebration. We really didn't go out all out and put on a big shing ding. In fact, in typical McAdams procrastination fashion, we waited until the last minute to do everything. We found her dress two days before pictures were taken. We had a reception at my mother-in-law's house with take-out from Olive Garden that we ordered after mass. Heck, we were almost late to mass because I had to run to Target to get my son a new pair of khaki's because we couldn't find his. Okay, maybe some of the stress was from our lack of planning, but the biggest stress was wondering if we are doing everything we need to be doing to fulfill the promises we made at each of our children's baptism.

I'm sure it's every parent's worries that they raise their children to grow up to be good people and to have happy families of their own and successful careers. I certainly hope that my kids grow up to be kind and considerate people. I certainly hope they grow up to have long healthy marriages and give me lots of grand kids. Heck---I wouldn't mind having a son as a priest or a daughter as a nun if that is their vocation. Of course I want them to have good jobs and to want for nothing when they get older. I DEFINITELY don't want them to be living in my basement when they are in their 20's.

The fact of the matter is that will be a failure as a parent if I haven't everything I can to prepare my kids to know God and know how they are to serve him. I'm a failure if I haven't done everything I can to ensure that my children know that they were made in the image and likeness of God and that He loves them no matter what happens.

I fully realize that my kids have free will just like everyone else and are free to grow up and make their own mistakes just like I make my own. I realize that they are responsible for their own actions and in the end--they are responsible for keeping themselves in a state of grace and responsible for ensuring their own salvation. I will be able to help them out when they are adults. I'll be able to bail them out when they get in jams. I'll also be able to be in a position to let them sink so that they can learn from their mistakes. But when it is their time of judgement, they will have to stand in front of God themselves. I can't help them there. Only God can truly see into their hearts.

The concern I have is "have I done EVERYTHING I can". Obviously, I make sure have received all of their sacraments. I make sure they go to mass. I've sent them to Catholic school. I try to be a good example.

But then I look back and see ways I could have done better. I've been irresponsible and don't always ensure they are reverent at mass. I don't make them go to reconciliation. We aren't a real prayerful family. I've sent them to a Catholic School. I'm not always the best example.

I've done better than some parents. I've done worse than some parents. I've been average I guess. I don't want to be average in this category. I want to excel. I want to know--no matter where I end up--that my kids will spend eternity in the presence of God.

Do any of you have these same worries? What do you think you do well as a parent as far as raising your kids in the Catholic faith? How do you think you can improve.

We Are the Deadliest Catch

2011-04-20T04:22:00.000-05:00

Over the last several years, one of my favorite television shows has been "Deadliest Catch" on The Discovery Channel. The show follows crab fisherman in the Bearing Sea as they venture out to catch king crab and opelio crap while overcoming all of the hurdles that come their way. They face twenty-five foot waves, bad weather, ice, snow, long hours, little sleep and possible death in order to drop "pots" into the sea and come back later hoping that the pots are stuffed with crab.and see what they have caught. Sometimes they come up empty and sometimes they come up filled in crab. The funny thing about the show is that I really do not know why I watch it much less become entranced in it. There is only so much of dropping the pots and retrieving the pots that one would think would be enjoyable. It doesn't matter, I'll sit there watching and hoping that the crew members of the Time Bandit come up big, or worrying about Phil, the captain on the Cornelia Marie--even though I know what happens to him. I'm riveted by the bickering of Sig and his brother, Edgar, on the Northwestern.

There is a more important Deadliest Catch though and one that we should remember on this Holy Week. Jesus gave up His life, just like many fishermen in the Bearing Sea have given up their life but for a more precious catch than crab. He gave up His life to save the souls of human beings. In order to reunite us with Him, Jesus sacrificed Himself. He went through worse torture than the brave men go through up in Alaska. He was scourged, beaten and hung on a tree all so that he could "catch us."

God must feel like a fisherman sometimes. He must have periods of excitement when the "catch" is bountiful and periods of frustration when the pot comes up empty. You see, God can put out the bait, but we still have free will and it's up for us to take the bait and to crawl into that cage in order to be pulled up and to be reunited with him. We can, and quite often do, chose to take the wide path outside the cage instead of the narrow path that leads us inside to salvation.

I might remind you that we are also called to be "fishers of men." We are are called to go out into the world--which can be scarier than the Bearing Sea--and to capture souls and help others to find Jesus. It's not an easy task and it's quite possible that we may have to put our life on the line in order to save souls. The reward is much greater than a boat full of crab.

Cuffed and Shackled

2011-04-14T05:23:00.000-05:00

One of the reasons that many people do not like religion is because there are too many "rules." They do not like being told what they can do or cannot do. They do not like being told that what they are doing is a sin. They want the "freedom" do do what they want to do.

The truth of the matter is that true freedom comes from being free from sin and not having those tendencies to want to sin. True freedom comes from wanting to be with God more than anything and not having those urges to sin. We are actually chained and shackled by sin. Don't believe me? Think of a sin that you are often guilty of and then think about how difficult it is not to commit that sin. Then think of a sin that you do not have the tendency to commit and think how how easy it is not to commit that sin.

For instance, take the sin of lust. Lust is something that pulls many people down. Evidence of this is that sex is all around us. Temptation to lust is everywhere. It's very difficult for many people to escape from and very difficult for some people not to commit the sin of lust.

Now take the sin of murder. True, there is violence every where too. Violence is on television or in video games. But not many people have the overwhelming urge to murder someone. It's safe to say that most people are free of that sin.

Only God gives us true freedom. Sure, He tells us what is right and wrong. He gives us the truth. But we are free to choose. It's sin and the tendency to truly restrains us. We can break those shackles of sin though. Through God's grace we are always able to break free from sin and be with Him. The problem is that it is not easy for us. The first thing is often having the WANT to break free from those sins. We, as humans, often choose to be handcuffed and shackled and to be in a state sin because it's what we are experienced with. It's what we think is normal. It's what society tells us is right.

Often times, we would rather wear those chains because of the fear of being free of them. It is with God's grace that we are able to break those chains but God's grace seems like a hammer and chisel hitting upon those restraints. As much as we want to be free, we are afraid of the pain that is we are going to have to go through in order to be set free.

So we choose to keep them on. We lie to ourselves and tell ourselves that it's better to keep them on. It's better to live this way than to live without that sin that we enjoy. Nothing is more further from the truth but we choose the path to self destruction way more often than not. We find it's easier to be shackled down than it is to experience true freedom.

The Friend I Strive to Be

2011-04-11T05:54:00.000-05:00

I am a pain in the rear. I'll admit it. I would hate to be my mom, my sister, my wife, my kids or my friend. I tend to put them all on a pedestal. The problem is when you put someone on a pedestal you start to expect a lot from them. And then when they aren't what you expect from them you become frustrated. You wonder to yourself how they could have messed up. You wonder how they could have let you down.

Yeah, I realize they are human. I know they have faults. I realize they are human. But I still tend to ponder why they didn't say what you needed to hear, do what I wanted them to do, call when I need them to call or be there when I needed them to be there. They know me so well and I'm so easy to please, why couldn't they do that? (Right now, my mom, my sister, my wife, kids and friends are laughing out loud) After all, I only expect perfection out of them and expect them to do whatever makes me happy. Alas, as I've been told, "It's not all about me."

Here is how much of an idiot I am. I've gotten so frustrates lately and God hit me with a 2x4 in prayer one night. He made me realize that only one person is there for me whenever I want them to be. Only one person is ready to hear my problems whenever I want to vent on them. Only one person can give me the love that I truly strive for. And I keep turning away from Him. Yeah. Only God can fill that perfect relationship that I am searching for in life and I keep turning Him down.

You see, just as I ask too much of my friends, spouse, kids, mom and sister, He asks too much of me. Just like I'm looking for perfection out of them, He is asking for perfection out of me and I'm just not really sure I want to give Him what He is asking for. Why? Well, frankly because it scares the tar out of me. I can't do that. I can't be perfect and more importantly--I can't do whatever I want.

In reality though, He doesn't ask too much. If I step back and realize that everything I have is a gift from him then I should offer Him everything I have in return. If I realize that he wants perfection from me so that I can be closer to Him then I should strive for it too. If I realize that he is inviting me to make these sacrifices so He can work through me so that I can draw my mother, my sister, my wife, my kids and my friends to Him then I should be anything and everything I can to be what He wants me to be.

Yeah, the closest people in my life are not perfect. But neither am I. Through it all, I know that Jesus is right next to me, helping me to succeed, helping to pull me up and being the friend that I strive to be.

Of Baseball and Lent

2011-04-07T05:35:00.000-05:00

As a Catholic and as a Kansas City Royals fan, this is my favorite time of year. As a Catholic, we are smack dab in the middle of lent---a season of penance and spiritual repair. As a Royals fan, we are a week into a new year of baseball--a time of year where every team is still in contention. Both are a period of setting goals and having high hopes.

I realize that most Catholics probably do not think that lent is a great time of year. It is a penitential time. It's a time for reflection on how we have strayed away from God and trying to make amends. We wear ash on our foreheads. The church is decorated with rocks and dead trees. We fast. We abstain. We go to reconciliation (although you CAN go more than once a year you know). We don't say or sing "alleluia." We prepare for the Easter season which is the season of new life. That's when we should rejoice. Right?

Let me explain. I am pretty undisciplined. Yeah, it's true. I tend to get excited about self improvement and work hard at it. But unless, I have someone to keep me in check, I tend to backslide and go back to being "Jamie." Different things may trigger my renewal and excitement about improving. It may be seeing myself in the mirror and realizing that I've been slacking at watching what I eat and going CrossFit. It may be a "meeting" with my captain who is giving me a critique (also known in some circles as a "butt chewing.") It may be getting hit upside the head with a 2 x 4 by a friend. And many times, in my spiritual life---it's lent.

Lent is the church hitting me with a spiritual 2 x 4 and reminding me that I've gone off of the path and need to get back on it. It's a time of year when you feel like you can just jump back into the spiritual pond. Now granted---hopefully we do this more than once a year. That's why going to reconciliation at least once of month is a good thing---and something I NEED. But for me, lent is a great time of year to REALLY reinvent myself.

Which brings me to the beginning of baseball season. I am a life long Royals fan. The Royals won the World Series in 1985 and have not been back to the playoffs since. They really have not even been competitive for at least the last 15 years and many of those years they have down right stunk. But it never fails. Every year there is spring training and every year the season starts anew. And every year I get suckered in and have expectations that they will be an improvement over last year. I have hope! Only to have my hopes dashed by Memorial Day.

This year was going to be different though. I went into this season realizing that the team hasn't made any great improvements and all of our hopes and dreams are in the minor leagues and I need to be looking towards 2012 and beyond (Baseball America has rated the Royals minor league system the best in the major leagues) And wouldn't you know it. They are off to a good start. They are 4-2 and have a lot of spunk in them. They won their last four games in walk off fashion--scoring in their last at bat. Two of the victories came in extra innings. And their loss today went to twelve innings. Once again-----I have hope. I think . . . maybe we will see some improvement this year! We will see. More than likely I'll look forward to September call ups and hope that that Yankees and Cardinals fall on their face and miss the play offs.

Seasons are good to the spiritual life. In Lent, I am given a chance to look at where I am in my spiritual life. It's a time to see if I'm on course and where I need to fine tune some things. Or if I am way off course it is a time to get my act straight. And I do that by reflection, penance and rededicating myself to prayer and alms giving.

That sense of hope and excitement that I have towards the Royals is important to have in the spiritual life also. You can't look at the past and get down on all of the 100 loss seasons, pondering if your team will ever finish a season over .500 much less if they will ever make the play offs again. You can't recall all of the bumbling and dumb things you've seen on the field and in the front office. You also can't get down and think back to all the sins you have committed and the time you've wasted pondering if you'll ever make it to confession without having to list that ONE sin that you continually have to repeat much less if you'll ever make it you heaven. You can't recall all of the bumbling and dumb things you've done.

No, you have to have hope. You're team may be filled with players that no one else wanted and it looks like another 100 loss seasons. You may be filled with temptations and desires and it looks like you'll surely be in the confessional again soon. But the grace of God is better than money (which is what the Yankees used to buy themselves 27 world championships) and God is there to help you find victory because all he wants you to do is to hit it out of the park.

A Roller Coaster Ride

2011-03-14T02:29:00.000-05:00

We've all heard the comparison that life is like a roller coaster ride. It has it's ups and downs, curves and loopty loops. Through it all we are supposed to trust in God to get us through it all. If we have complete trust in God we should put our hands in the air as we ride up that accent all excited about the thrills that are before us with full confidence that he will keep us in that seat and free from harm. click, click,click, click, click, click, coast whaaaaaaaaaaaa excitement in our screams and we coast down that first hill. We give a little grunt and the cars hit that first curve harder than we expected and our eyes get great big with anticipation as we start to go upside down.

Bless those people who can go through life like that with full confidence that no matter what God will protect us and can just hold on and enjoy the ride. Bless them for putting everything in God's hands and, as the saying goes, "Let Go and Let God."

Personally, I can say "let go and let God"--but in reality I don't really know how to do that. Heck, I'm not even sure what it really means. Whatever it means, it certainly is a lot easier said than done. It would be a lot easier if that roller coaster was your typical roller coaster that you can check out before hand in the light of day. It'd be easier if you can sit there on the park bench in bright sunlight and see other people on the ride. If you could see the steel pillars planted into the concrete. If you could get an idea of where the assents and descents are, and could see what you are going to go through before hand. If you knew that in the end you are going to end up right right over there in that station. That you will get out all excited and ready for the next ride---maybe the tilt-a-whirl this time.

In reality, it's pitch black out and you can't see a thing. You have no idea where the tracks go. You have no idea where the tracks are flat, where they are curved, where they go up or where they go down. You have no idea when you are going to be right side up or upside down. In reality there are strobe lights thrown in to disorient you. You have no idea where the ending station is. You have no idea how old the ride is and you're not so sure the coaster wasn't put together by some methed out carnie who made repairs using duct tape. You aren't so sure that the seatbelt will hold during the curves and you won't be thrown off of the side.

It's much easier said to "let go and let God" than it is to actually do it. But you gotta do it. You have to get into that seat, put the seat belt on, pull down the harness, utter a few curse words and throw in a quick prayer, "Lord, I trust in you." Because in reality, He created the ride, He built the ride, and He is the pimply faced kid ride at the control panel pushing the buttons. Did I just call God a pimply faced kid? I guess I did . . . . click, click, click, click, click oh well, up we gooooooooooo .. . . .

You Haven't Seen The Last of Me

2011-02-23T04:34:00.000-06:00

I had my iTunes on shuffle earlier tonight and the song "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" from the movie Burlesque came on. The song talks about being down and coming back from the ashes and I thought about how that theme correlates to the spiritual life. I'd be willing to bet the farm that the neither Diane Warren, the writer, nor Cher, the singer, thought about the song in the spiritual sense--especially since the underlying theme is, "I'm tough enough to come back from this" with no mention of God.

In the movie, Cher's character, Tess, is about to lose her night club and is on her last leg. We can all relate to being in the place where Tess is"
   Feeling broken
   Barely holding on
She continues:
   I've been brought
   down to my knees and
   I've been pushed
   way past the point of breaking
Perhaps it's in the troubles of the every day world such as Tess is fighting or perhaps it's in our daily spiritual battles where we are fighting sin and it's temptation. Sin can really beat us down and if we are in a state of sin we are definately broken and barely hanging on. Fighting back from those temptations can take us to our knees and past the point of breaking.

Tess shows hope--the same hope we need to have--when she says:
   And I'm down but I'll get up again
   Don't count me out just yet.
   I'll be back
   Back on my feet
   This is far from over
   They haven't seen the last of me yet
This is the confidence we need to have--maybe not just in ourselves, like Tess seems to have--but in the fact that God is with us and as St Paul said, "If God is for us, who can be against us." (Romans 8:31)

I especially like the part that I can imagine talking to Satan--the great tempter:
   You don't know me
   You don't know who I am
   Don't count me out so fast
This doesn't mean to demean Satan--because sadly, he does know us very well. He knows our weaknesses and which buttons to push to get us to stray away from God. But he does NOT know us as God knows us. God knows us far better than we even know ourselves because He loves us so much. So, when we are standing behind God, we feel like we can snub our nose at the Devil and say, "You don't know me! God knows me!"

In a way, this song is about the gospel. It preaches the good news. That it doesn't matter where we are spirtually. It doesn't matter how beaten down we are. God doesn't care how entrenched we are in sin. He only wants to lift us up again so we can be with Him. From the druggie to the thief to the cheater--all God wants is to be reconciled with us.

The down fall to this song is that it's all about "I." The truth of the matter is, we can NOT do it alone. We MUST have God's assistance. That is the difficult part about reconciliation---getting past the "I." We must put our pride aside and walk into that confessional. It is only then that we may hear those blessed words, "Through the ministry of the church, may God grant you pardon and peace and I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

Serenity Now!!

2011-02-09T05:23:00.000-06:00

A few weekends ago, I was have a really cruddy couple of days. Nothing horrible happened. Just nothing really to write home about. I was just feeling down and in the dumps. We went to Saturday evening mass and I happened to see a fellow parishioner who I knew had just suffered a tragic loss. Seeing the grief and sadness on her face just ripped my heart out. It sort of brought me back to reality and made me wonder why I was having such a pity party.

Looking over my life I think I'd be safe to say that it is filled with blessings. I have a great family, a beautiful wife who I am madly in love with, good kids who are healthy, a job I enjoy going to, I'm well fed (obviously) and I have a roof over my head. On the other hand, I know people who have been through hell. I know a guy who grew up in a war torn country and tells the story of him and his family escaping from their house in the middle of the night (he had to crawl through his bedroom window--not knowing what was happening to the rest of his family) I know people who are going through divorce. I know people who have lost their spouses to death. That doesn't even take into consideration the grief and torment I see people go through on the streets.

It sometimes makes me wonder what's wrong with me? What am I complaining about? Who the heck am I to complain about the small little things that are going on in my life when other people's turmoils are much worse than mine. Well, here is the thing. I think it's good to acknowledge the lows in our life. I think it's okay to say, "Today has sucked!" Not only is it good to acknowledge it but it's good to let that frustration out. Heck, sometimes just me telling someone that I'm in a bad mood and them acknowledging it is all I need. When I do not have that release valve everything seems to pile up.

I also think it's good to acknowledge someone else's sufferings, no matter how trivial they may be. Don't belittle them. Yeah, you may want to whack someone upside the head because they are complaining about their favorite television show getting erased of the DVR when you are fighting to keep your head above water financially. How much easier it to at least empathize with them. You understanding that they really wanted to watch Jersey Shore may be just enough to pick them up and get them out of their funk.

The important thing is not wallow and bury our sufferings--even it is something trivial. This doesn't mean you need to sit on the street corner wailing, "oh whoa is me!" But maybe you just need to take time to relax. Maybe you need to do some light reading. Maybe you need to go to the gym and run or workout. Maybe you need to call a friend and venting on them. The worst thing you can do is hold it in though. It will just make you feel even more miserable inside.

The best thing you can do is--of course--take it to God in prayer. Talk to Him about your day and lay everything out there for Him. "Lord, I was looking forward to A, B, and C happening today and instead I got X, Y, and Z. What's up with that?" You may not find your answer as to why your day stunk in prayer. It may just be that all you might be able to do is offering up your sufferings for those who are suffering more than you. I do guarantee you this though. You are not going to find true peace and serenity unless you do let Him take care of you though. St. Augustine said, "my heart is restless, Oh Lord, until it rests in you." No amount of relaxation, or exercise or carrying on will truly make us happy until God is in the picture.

I See You

2011-01-04T06:40:00.000-06:00

I'm going to let you have a little insight into some of my craziness. I can be totally secure in some one's love for me when they are with me. But as soon as they are gone, I start to have my doubts. Which is ironic because I'm sure I'm much easier to love when you are not actually in my presence. It's almost as if I feel that as soon I'm not in someone's presence they forget all about me and I'm not worthy of love anymore. It's why I like the greeting in James Cameron's film, Avatar. In the film, the Na'vi greet each other by saying, "I see you." It's as if they are giving validity to the other person's existence.

This tendency, or paranoia or whatever is has created some peculiarities in me. For instance, I think it is where my joy of texting comes from. I don't need to have to be in your presence, or I can be doing something else, and still communicating with you. Heck, I can be talking to one person and having a text conversation with someone with my phone at my side and the first person doesn't even realize it. (Okay--maybe some ADHD comes in there also) I think it's where my tendency to always try to leave my wife notes, or phone messages (or texts) telling her that I love her. Yeah, I want her to know that I love her but I also don't want her to forget about me while she is at work, the grocery store, the bathroom---where ever she may be (you should have seen what a nut case I was when she went to Greece two years ago.) It can also cause me to be very lonely even when I'm surrounded by people who love me because I'm worried about the love of those who aren't around me.

One thing I am totally assured of is God's love for me. I don't know that I've ever doubted God's love for me. Maybe it's because I am constantly in His presence. Tim Burke had an interesting post over at Salvation is an Adventure where he questions whether or not God really loves him. He brings up some really interesting points such as if he is assured of God's love then why would he sin or why doesn't he fully trust God.

When I read Tim's blog, I thought, "well, that blows holes in my theory" but then, realizing that people are different, that my theory does still hold water. You see, I think I sin, not because I doubt the love of God, which completely selfless, but because I don't love Him as I should and instead, am selfish. I am so sure of God's love and mercy that I'm guilty of the sin of taking God's mercy for granted and am presumptuous.

Why do I do this?? I'm not sure. I really don't know. I know I need to try to make changes in my life. I need to be more appreciative of God's love and try harder to love Him more. The second thing is I need to be more appreciative of the people I am with. I need to show them my love by focusing on them more. Finally, I need to show more trust in those loved one's I'm not around. I need to trust that they love me even if they aren't there to show it to me at that moment. Of course, I find that it's easier to say that I need to work on things that it actually is to do it. Hold on . . . I'm getting a text.

St. Andrew the Apostle Parish

2010-12-28T04:01:00.002-06:00

It seems my family and I only like going to mass in the evening---we normally only go Saturday or Sunday evening. Since, our own parish doesn't have a Sunday evening mass it gives us an opportunity to try out different parishes that do have an evening mass. This last Sunday we had the opportunity to try out St. Andrew the Apostle in Gladstone. Now this post isn't meant to serve as a parish review or critique. I just wanted to comment on my experience and that I found it very interesting, especially in regard to a blog I read last week.

The first thing I noticed, as you'd notice walking into any church, is the church's appearance. My first impression is that it reeked of a post-Vatican II church. It seemed very . . . sanitary??. It has an arch ceiling but with those square ceiling tiles on it. But then I noticed it wasn't as it first seemed. The area around the altar was beautiful and very reverent. The golden tabernacle was right in the middle (as it should be) surrounded by two statues of angels bowing down in adoration. To the left and right of the altar were statues of Our Blessed Mother and St. Joseph.

I'd go into more detail about things but the most exciting thing was the reverence shown to the Blessed Sacrament. This isn't to chastise other parishes or say they do things wrong. I'm just interested about what I saw different at St. Andrews. Like I said above, the tabernacle is gold and right in the middle, where you cannot miss it. Even more interesting was what was in front of the altar---kneelers. Yes, right where you come up to receive communion are two kneelers so that you can kneel to receive the Eucharist. I couldn't help but think of Danielle Beans article earlier in the week, "Why I'm Giving Up Communion on the Tongue." Danielle said she is giving up receiving communion on the tongue because it is too difficult. Well, here is a parish--that's not doing the Triditine Mass--but is, by offering kneelers, encouraging taking communion on the tongue. After all, it almost seems natural to take it on the tongue when you are kneeling. You don't have to kneel though---or take communion on the tongue. You can still stand or you can kneel and still take it in the hand.

Another thing, I noticed were the altar servers helped with communion by holding pattens to catch any pieces of the Blessed Sacrament that fell. Then, when the Extraordinary Minister who was next to the priest ran out of hosts, the priest took over both lines (even though they were both still long) instead of giving him more. Finally, after communion, the priest took a couple of minutes and cleaned the vessels before sitting down. Nothing seemed rushed. I felt very much like they were truly making the Eucharist the source and summit of the mass

Another thing, I noticed about St Andrews is it's confession schedule. They have confession on Mondays at noon, Wednesday's at 5:30, and Saturdays at 3:15. As a fan of confession, I found this great. I think I'll still keep going to Msgr. Blacet but it's always nice to know of a parish that has confession throughout the week for when I'm in a pinch.

I was turned onto St. Andrew's Sunday evening mass because a month earlier their youth program was highlighted at the Kansas City Catholic Youth Conference. I had been discussing it with a friend and we wondered why they were doing so good. Was it their use of Life Teen? Was it their Sunday evening mass before youth group? I'm not positive--but I wonder if having a parish that welcomes it's youth as well as putting emphasis on the sacraments may have something to do with it.

Those were just some thoughts and observations. Again, I'm not criticizing any other parish (And I've been to nearly all of them in the northland of Kansas City now) I was just pointing out some interesting things and things I think this parish is getting right.

The Fires of Hell

2010-12-27T11:37:00.000-06:00

I have a little confession to make. It's okay---I already took it to the confessional. I missed mass for a few weeks--and including the Holy Day of Obligation on the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. I know, I know, I know--I'm a horrible Catholic, a horrible husband and a horrible father. What was really bad?? I didn't miss mass. I was nice to sit at home and relax. It was nice, at least, until the next time I went to mass. You see, I hadn't gone to reconciliation before going to mass. Since I had missed mass, I was in a state of mortal sin and not able to receive communion. All I could think about during mass was, "If the Eucharist is a taste of Heaven then not being able to receive the Eucharist must be a taste of Hell."

Now, I'm not going to sit her and say that sitting through mass and not taking communion is Hell. I'm saying it's a small taste of Hell. No way it compares to the loneliness, sadness and despair of what Hell must be like just like I'm not sure the Eucharist can come close to the happiness, completeness and joy that it's like to be in Heaven. There are similarities though. Those in Hell, are cut off--by their own choices--from the love of God. I was at mass and cut off--because of my own choices--from receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. Obviously, there were some differences. I was with family, so I was able to feel love. I knew that all I had to do to be forgiven was to go to confession, so I was able to have hope.

I'm not sure people are afraid of Hell like they should. Obviously, I'm not or else I wouldn't have missed mass knowing full well that spiritual state it would put me in. But I hear people joke saying, "I'll see you in hell" or one local radio DJ who said, "If you are going to go to Hell, don't go small and just barely get in--go big so there is no doubt!" Okay, I'm not going to play the prude--I'm sitting here telling you that up until last Thursday, I was in a state of mortal sin. I know he was saying it tongue in cheek and for a laugh but considering his whole show revolves around "sex, drugs and rock and roll" I'm pretty sure I can say that there was some seriousness behind it too. In essence, he was saying, "party now and worry about the consequences later."

This type of thinking seems crazy doesn't it? That we can think, "I'd rather do A, B and C now, for a short period, and spend eternity without love, without happiness, without hope." I see people who don't feel like they have love, happiness or hope and I certainly don't want to live eternally like that. But that's the choice we make when we sin.

Fortunately, all God wants is our salvation and for us to be reconciled with Him so He makes it very easy for us to reconcile with Him. It's just up to us to choose Him over ourselves.

Top Ten Reason I Enjoy Youth Ministry

2010-11-29T08:12:00.000-06:00

Last weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend the Kansas City Catholic Youth Conference (KCYC.) It was an amazing time with key-note speakers Sean Dalton and comedian Judy McDonalds. By Sunday afternoon I was spiritually exhausted (from great mind blowing ideas by said speakers and an incredible time of adoration) and physically exhausted (I felt like I had wrangled cats all weekend) I have been involved in youth ministry for nearly a decade in some form or another. I first started out helping out in senior high youth group as a way to offer my time and talent since I didn't have a whole lot of treasure to offer. What has developed is a real passion for sharing my faith with teens. Why?? Some of you may say, "Because you are crazy! That's why!" So here are my top ten reasons why I love youth ministry:

It keeps you young--I love my faith and I enjoy reading spiritual books or listening to lectures about Catholicism. You can't teach a group of teen agers thinking like an old curmudgeon unless you want to see a bunch of blank stares and drool. You have to think like a teen in order to teach them effectively
It gives you a chance to be goofy--It goes along with #1, but in order to effectively teach teens you need to allow yourself to be a little goofy and odd. (while keeping a certain decorum) If they see you cut loose a little bit you are more likely to keep their attention.
It keeps you real--You can act young. You can act goofy. But that had better be your real personality because if you are faking it they will see right through you and you'll just look dumb. It's better to act like a middle aged guy if that's what you are than come is using some lingo from 1995, "Hey! Whatzz up, homedogs!!"
It helps you think in a simple way--Let's face it. Some of these kids don't know their faith very well and in order to explain things to them you have to simplify things. You have to describe your faith in the simplist way possible. You can't assume ANYTHING.
It makes you think in a complex way--Teens have this desire to want to know, "why." Why this and why that. You need to know your faith well enough to explain it. You have to know the answers to those why questions.
It keeps you humble. You simply cannot fake your knowledge. They will simply catch you in one of those "why" questions and if you've faked it they won't trust what you have to say. It's much better to say, "I don't know." The secret is to add on, "but I will find out and get back to you." And then do it. You also have to be able to humble yourself enough to know when to let go. You have to realize you can only do so much and at some point you have to be able to let God take over and trust in him.
You don't have to worry about your appearance! You can normally dress how you please. It's okay to dress casual. Cargo shorts and t-shirts are acceptable. There are a couple caveats here. The first one is, "don't try to dress LIKE a teenager." A middle aged guy dressing up like he is 18 just looks dumb. The second one is, "Be aware that there are times when you SHOULD dress up." Let the teens see you dressed up at mass so they are aware that mass is a special time.
It makes you be creative. You cannot just simply stand at a podium and lecture if you are trying to teach your faith. You have to come up with different creative ways to keeps the kids attention. This doesn't mean doing games or crafts for the sake of doing arts and crafts. You have to be more creative than that. Those arts and crafts have to be done in a way that helps your lesson plan and makes the kids learn.
It makes you become engaging. The tendency of an adult leader is to hang around with other adult leaders. You make your own cliques. Here is an idea. Get there early, get everything set up and as the kids are coming in and finding their seats, sit among them. Get to know them. Teens are more willing to pay attention to the guy who has paid attention to them and showed that he care for them.
It gives me a chance to return the gifts that God has given me. I've been blessed and have an incredible faith. By being involved in youth ministry, I have to opportunity to teach others about my Catholic faith. I think this is my favorite reason of all of them

There are many types of ways in the church that you are able to serve. Maybe your thing is going to nursing homes to tend to the elderly. Perhaps you have a passion being involved in prison ministries or the homeless. None of those sound appealing to me in the least. Perhaps, I should try one of these ministries that aren't appealing to me. Perhaps being taken outside of my comfort level would be good for me spiritually. Perhaps. For now, I'll stick with youth ministry and enjoy it.

Diaconate Dropout

2010-11-17T05:47:00.000-06:00

I've been holding something back from many people for the last several weeks. Very few people knew about it but I'm finally throwing it out there----I'm a diaconate drop-out. Yes, I've discerned that the diaconate isn't for me--at least not at this point in my life.

I'd been contemplating the diaconate for over two years. For the longest time I seemed like something I could be really good at--and I do think I would be a good deacon.

But every since the first get together dinner back in February I have had uneasy feelings about it. I had decided to stick it out throught the aspirancy because I didn't want to be running away from God. And then some sort of diaconate function would come up. I would get incredibly uneasy. I wanted to be ANYWHERE but there. I think if I'm doing something that I am passionate about and that would be life changing like ordination I should be excited about it. I was anything but excited about it.

It seemed to have turned my faith into a job or a chore. I want to pray because I want (or need) to pray, not because I'm directed to. I want to volunteer how I want to volunteer. I want to worship when and where I want to worship not where someone else tells me. I want to dress how I want to not the way someone else tells me. I want to blog how I want without the fear of being second guessed. I realize that doesn't say a lot about my obedience but it's how I feel.

Interestingly enough, I made my decision at my Cursillo weekend back in September. I realized that the formation process just doesn't fit into my life right now. The week-end prior to my Cursillo, I had to be up for over 24 hours for a formation event. Then, I had to move days off for this Cursillo weekend (that I was doing as a retreat for the diaconate) and ended up missing a ton of time with my family and was just overworked. I just couldn't do that for four years.

When I would think of the diaconate I would be stressed. When I would imagine myself out of the diaconate I would be at peace. I think that was Gods way of telling me that it isn't my calling. I don't think its the devils doing.

Interestingly enough, my Cursillio weekend had another impact on my discernment. I was able to see and experience these incredible Holy lay people. I realized that there are other ways that I can win souls for God. I don't have to be ordained to further my spiritual journey or to become a saint myself. I have a passion for youth ministry. I have touched many people with my blog. I don't need the diaconate to become more holy. There are pleanty of pious lay people.

I will say that I'm glad I went through the process. I met plenty of great people. It is a great aspirant class. The Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph is very fortunate. I would definately encourage anyone who feels that ping from God to check it out and discern if it's for them or not.

I won't say that the diaconate is totally out of the picture. God may have planted the seed in my head for a reason but right now just isn't the time for me. Maybe in five years. Maybe in ten years. My family will all be older. I may be in a position where I have a Monday-Friday position on the police department. Who knows. I do think I would be a really good deacon. Now is just not the time.

My Bucket List

2010-11-02T05:03:00.002-05:00

I was thinking about a what would be on my bucket list tonight---don't ask me why---and I came to the conclusion that I am very much a simpleton. Well, I already knew I was a simpleton but this conclusion was reinforced. I just could not come up with many ideas for my bucket list. For those who don't know, a "bucket list" is a list of things you would like to do before dying. Some people have great romantic ideas what they want to do such as run a marathon, climb Mt. Everest or go skydiving. Perhaps, I just don't have a great imagination or maybe I can't get over the money restriction (heck, I can't even imagine what I'd want to do if I had an unlimited financial source) So I came up with ten ideas for my bucket list and some of my rational.

Be the best husband and father I can be. This doesn't seem like something that would be #1 on a bucket list perhaps but I do think it's the most important thing in my life that I could do. Maybe I'm doing that now--sometimes it seems like I'm doing a great job, other times it seems like I'm failing miseraby. The thing is, I can't say I've completed this goal until I'm dead. Only then will I know that I've done my best to raise my children and have been a good husband.
~~Visit Rome~~-Live in Rome-I could spin several other ideas for my list off of this one---visit all of the major cathedrals, meet the pope, climb the scala santa. I have so many things I want to do in Rome that I could spend a month there and still not see everything that I want. Maybe I should change it to, "Live in Rome."
Visit all major league baseball parks. I've been to a total of two, count them, ONE, TWO--2 major league baseball parks. I wish I would have made it to New York to go to Yankee Stadium before it closed but I missed out so I want to see all of the others--from Boston to Minnesota to Texas to Seattle.
Go to all 162 Royals games in one year. I figured Abby and I could travel the country for six months, living in an RV. I'm not sure she's ever really bought into the idea. Maybe I'd settle on flying to all of the different cities.
Be fluent in Spanish. I went to a Spanish Immersion course for ten weeks last spring and have retained none of it. To be honest, ten weeks just was not long enough and I really wish I would have put in for the five week trip to Mexico to be truly immersed.
Learn to fly a plane. I've wanted to fly since I was a kid. In fact, when I was younger, I wanted to be a pilot in the Air Force. But then I learned how much better the Marine Corps is and gave up on my dream of flying to be a Marine. A good trade off in my opinion.
CrossFit goals. I have several of them. I want to learn how to kip so I can do pull ups. I want to be able to do muscle ups. I would love to be a CrossFit certified trainer and help others experience CrossFit. For right now, I'd just be happy if my lungs cooperated and my exercise induced asthma didn't kick my butt on the majority of workouts so that I would perform better.
Be a great youth speaker. I love being a catechist. The only problem is that I'm not a very good speaker. I want to be like some of these guys with charisma who can have teens just mesmerized and fill the youth with the Holy Spirit. I'd love to be a speaker traveling across the country to different parishes or youth conferences at Steubenville or NCYC.
Have a few beers with some of my favorite Catholic speakers/bloggers. I don't want to just meet them. I want to spend time with them. I was able to spend time at a St. Louis Cardinal's game with Fr. Jim Chern last summer and had a blast. I'd love to spend some of my other favorites. Can you imagine drinking with Mark Hart or Danielle Bean? I think I'd have an incredible time!
Be in-studio on The Catholic Guy Show. I'd be happy just to sit in the background but how cool would it be to be interviewed for the show. Alas, that's not going to happen because there is nothing about me that would make a good interview but how cool would it be just to sit there and watch all of the things going on behind the scenes.
(A throw in) Be the best friend I can be. Kind of goes along with #1 so why not make the this the other book mark. Being a good friend is important to me. Obviously, it's not as important to me as #1---that's my vocation. But being a good friend is important because like I've said before--family HAS to like you but friends can tell you to take a long walk off of a short pier.

Like I said, not real flashy. Nothing on there that others will go, "OH!! I want to do that too!" No running with the bulls for me----getting my kids ready for school in the morning is scary enough. What do you have on your bucket list?

Are Y'all Still with Me!?

2010-10-26T05:35:00.001-05:00

I got the opportunity for the first time in a long time to jump into the blogosphere tonight. Obviously I've been gone for a few weeks. Interesting enough, several other bloggers had pointed out they haven't been blogging a lot lately (as observed by my stealing of the title of this post from my sister.) Where have I been? That's an interesting question.

Let's just say, I've been scatter-brained and trying to get my priorities in order. My wife Abby pointed out that I'm like a juggler who constantly has six balls in the air and trying to figure out what to do and wondering how I'm doing it. With work, off-duty jobs, Cub Scouts and other activities, I have so many things going on that everything is a mess. I'm struggling to keep all of those balls up in the air. So even my blog, which was like an escape for me---someplace to put my thoughts became a burden. It got to the point that I was even juggling my support system.

So for that reason, among others, I'm trying to get my support system back underneath me. I feel like I have a pretty good support system made up of my wife, my family and my friends. I suppose you could use the old analogy of the three legged stool and each one of those legs supporting me. But I think it's an imperfect analogy. One reason is because it's not quite that even of a balance. I lean more on Abby than I do my family or friends. If she wasn't there for me then I'd be toast. I'm at a loss. That being said, the other two legs are necessary because, well, lets face it--I'm so needy that Abby couldn't deal with all of my quirks and insecurities alone and still keep her own sanity. So I lean on family to support me because they have to love me no matter what---it's the law! And I lean on my friends because my mom stopped paying people to hang around me years ago so I know that my friends are my friends because they stick around despite my quirks and insecurities.

Another reason that the stool analogy is imperfect is because a stool offers simple support. It goes one way. Whereas, I maintain relationships with my support systems. It goes two ways. They take care of me and I take care of them. The problem comes in when you don't take care of your support system or you start juggling it along with everything else or when you focus on one leg of your support system more than you should. That's when your support system can become a stress. That's when you need to back off and place the focus where it belongs. Maybe you've been focusing so much on your volunteer work so that your family is suffering. Or maybe you've been spending too much time drinking or watching football with your buddies that your spouse is neglected.

The final reason that the stool analogy is imperfect is because it doesn't include God. Without God, you are nothing. It doesn't matter what type of support system you have. You could have the best wife (which I do), a wonderful family (which I do) and the best best friends (which I do) but without God first in your life then you will never find the peace that you are looking for. And that's something else I need to work on. My poor prayer life is kicking me in the butt. I need to work on my relationship with God just like I have to work on my relationship with Abby, my family and my friends.

I'm looking for more than just balance in my life. That would imply that I'm still juggling things. I think a better descriptor would be that I'm looking for order. I need to put everything in it's respective place and in the proper order. What does that mean for RomanCatholicCop.com? Like I said earlier--I use this blog as an escape so I'm not quitting blogging. I'm just not going to feel a NEED to blog. I'm going to use it as escape like I originally intended and stop thinking I need to post three times a week and stop checking out StatCounter.com to see how many people viewed it every day. It's all about order.

Children of God

2010-09-29T10:13:00.000-05:00

I was looking back at several of my last few postings and they really seem to be downers: Spiritual Dryness, Hating God, Why Am I Here? I can imagine someone looking over my blog titles and thinking, "this whole Christianity thing is for the birds!" I can understand that and perhaps I have been remiss and focusing too much on the "pick up your cross daily" aspect and not focusing on what we are really commanded to go out and preach about--the Good News.

I suppose it's very easy to focus on "Good Friday" and not on "Easter Sunday" since sometimes it can seem like every day is a battle in spiritual warfare and that we are constantly under attack from Satan and his minions but we really need to step back and realize everything we have going for us and not what we have going against us. After all, through baptism we are no longer just creations but we are in fact the adopted sons and daughters of God. We ARE the brothers and sisters of Jesus. If realizing that relationship doesn't give us hope then I don't think anything will.

Too often we see God in generic terms. People have even tried to strip away the titles of Father, Son and Holy Spirit that He has given Himself in scripture and instead call Him, "creator, redeemer, sanctifier." How sad. That strips away the description of the of relationship we have with God. He isn't some abstract concept. Religion isn't about a bunch of rules to make God happy so we can go to Heaven. No, it's about a relationship with Him. Sure, we can sever that relationship through sin but God is merciful and allows us to reconcile with Him. Not sinning can be difficult because of our fallen nature but God is loving and gives us the grace we need not to sin.

So, put on a smile. Keep your head up. We are children of God and God takes care of His children.

Priorities

2010-09-27T06:40:00.000-05:00

When Jesus was asked what the most important commandment was He said, "To love the Lord with your whole heart, your whole mind and your whole soul." He then said that the second commandment was to love your neighbor as yourself. Too often in life we seem to get these commandments out of whack and fail to follow them because we put lesser important things first. Sometimes we catch it ourselves. Other times we need hit upside the head with a 2x4 to get it though our thick skulls that we have our priorities askew.

Obviously, the first thing we always need to do is to put God first in our lives. It's not a guarantee that things will always be perfect but things certainly aren't going to go well for us if we fail to put God first. After all, everything we have, everything we own, everything we are, is a gift from God. It is only through His grace that we will put everything in order and keep ourselves on track. If we don't put God first, it's all too easy to get off track and then start to get our other priorities mixed up.

Our second priority should be to our family. Catholic speaker, Justin Fatica, made a comment on The Catholic Guy Show (Sirius 159/XM 117) last Friday that really struck home with me. He said that if you fail as a husband or you fail as a father than you fail at everything. This struck home for me. It was as if he was talking directly to me. I'd gotten my priorities askew and had put other things ahead of taking care of Abby and the kids. Justin's quote was a PING from God directed right at me. Our family must always come first because they are your foundation here on Earth. Jobs come and go and true friends will understand that family comes first. But if you screw up your family life then you really are lost.

Too often our priorities get messed up for one simple reason. We become too self absorbed. I'm not saying you are necessarily selfish. You may be doing selfless acts of charity and taking care of other people but if you aren't putting God first or you aren't taking care of your family then you are too absorbed into other things and need to step back. Too often we are just plain selfish though. We become so ingrained in hobbies or other things that are pleasurable to us that we forget those things that are most valuable. We become so wrapped up in television shows, working out, fantasy football, or other addictions that we fail to focus solely on those things that we should always be focused on.

Think to yourself today, "am I truly putting God first. Am I doing everything to I can to fulfill my spouses and my families needs?" If you aren't you need to ask what are you putting in front of them and fix it.

Why Am I Here?

2010-09-24T09:20:00.000-05:00

One of life's most pondered questions is "Why am I here?" or "What is my purpose in life?" We imagine guru's sitting on mountain tops meditating to those questions. Ironically, the answer used to be taught to elementary kids for decades in their CCD classes but we have seemed to have forgotten the answer. The Baltimore Catechism gives the the answer very simply, "God made us to know Him, to love Him and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in Heaven". Very simply, God made us to for relationship with Him. We need to remember this and think of it through out our lives.

Too often we go through life seeking happiness without trying to involve God. Too often we go through life seeking happiness while trying to omit God because we don't think our happiness lies with him or more importantly we don't want the answer he gives us. That's so ironic since we are made in His image and likeness and we made for relationship with Him. Rich or poor, married or single, healthy or ill--there is no way that we will ever be truly be happy until we are with Him. St. Augustine put it very well when he said, "My heart is restless, oh Lord, until it rests with you."

What does this mean for us? It means we need to involve Him in our lives and not just an hour at week when we are at church. We need to ask for his assistance and guidance in all of our life decisions. We need to ask Him how or why things are occurring. Ask, "Lord, is this the job for me, is this the man or woman for me, why is this happening to me." Involve Him in even the small decisions of our lives, "Lord, help me to spend money wisely as I go shopping today." Most importantly is the prayer, "Lord, let your will be done and not my own."

When we ask that God's will be done and not our own we trust in God. Considering He created the world out of nothingness that is a good place to put our trust. If we don't seek relationship with God we are only going through the motions. We are just simple animals seeking out life's pleasures--seeking out what makes us happy for the moment. We weren't made just to participate in life. We transcend life--we have a high calling and that is why we should always put God first in our lives.

This is sometimes difficult. I'm not dumb. I know that it's difficult to always put God first and to try to do His will because God's will is not always what we want. Heck, I'm the poster boy for pushing God aside to do what I want. And I really have no excuse. God's been good to me. Yet, I seem to mess up my priorities and put a million and one things ahead of God. I haven't prayed yet today, but I made time to watch the season premier of "The Office" on DVR. I have a book on meditation that is screaming at me to read but I'm going to go clean the refrigerator. If cleaning the fridge isn't pushing God aside I don't know what is.

So why are we here? If we keep that answer in mind . . . to know God, to love God, and to serve God in this life and to be happy with him in Heaven then the real question to ponder is, "How is this going to help me find holiness." Is what you are doing know going to make you a holier person? Is this person you are with going to help you get to Heaven?

We all have purposes in life. We all have different vocations. I believe that God has different missions for us and we have different life encounters in order to fulfill those missions. But we must always stay focused on our ultimate mission to love God with all of our hearts and all of our souls.

Hating God

2010-09-22T01:22:00.005-05:00

The story goes that St. Therese of Avila was riding in a carriage one day when the carriage hit a pot hole and the saint was knocked out of the carriage and into a mud puddle. St. Therese looked up towards the Heavens and said, "Lord, if this is the way you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few." That statement resonates with me as I discuss God with friends who have been knocked into their own puddles of mud in their lifetimes. How can you present God as loving and merciful when their lives have been so difficult through no fault of their own?How do you say "God is good" when all they see from God is pain--physical and emotional? How do you say little quirky lines such as, "let go and let God" when their lives are currently upside down? If you say that be prepared to get, "F#@k God!" thrown back in your face. Be prepared to suffer a diatribe of hatred towards God, "Why would a loving God do this to me? I had plans. I don't deserve this. I wanted babies. I just want to be normal. How much suffering should one person or one family have to undergo? God isn't real--a loving God wouldn't have done that to my mom!"

Be prepared to sit there feeling about two inches tall. You'd better be ready to say a quick prayer and say, "Come Holy Spirit!" and not try to respond on your own lest you give a pretty sound theologically correct but not a very pastoral statement such as "well, you know, God wouldn't put you through anything he wouldn't put himself through---after all, He died for you and for me on the cross." For someone who is hating God right then, the thought of Jesus dying 2000 years ago on the cross is too abstract. And if that doesn't get you cussed out saying something like, "Well, God never gives us more than we can handle" certainly will. Say that and you will probably get you chewed out royally. "Are you kidding me? Why don't you try walking in my shoes, having to have someone help you go to the bathroom! I've suffered so much. Why can't he just give me happiness for awhile! I'm a good person. I've never hurt anyone. I don't deserve this."

What do you say to someone who has been hurt so much by God that they are hating the Lord or that they have lost their faith. Well, if you are smart, you aren't going to say anything. Hopefully you shut up, pray, and let the Lord do the talking through you. There is nothing you can say that will make them feel better or bring them closer to God. The only thing that can help them is God's grace. There is a good chance that this person has a long road to ho before they find their way back to God and just like you can't convince one person to forgive another one, you won't be able to convince this person to forgive God. They have to allow themselves to be infused with God's grace and do it on their own.

But, if you are like me, and just have to try to fix everything because it's your nature as a cop then be simple. First, invoke the Holy Spirit and ask the Lord to guide you. And from there . . . I don't know. I mean, I understand that God's ways aren't our own and that we sometimes can't understand His will. I understand that. But when you aren't the one who is hurting you feel helpless. All you can do is pray, offer some sort of mortification in order to relieve some of their pain, so that they find it easier to turn to the Lord.

Prayer, prayer is the answer. If they won't do it then pray for them.

My Cursillo

2010-09-20T13:14:00.004-05:00

"My name is Jamie, I'm from Holy Family Parish in Kansas City, MO. My cursillo was #241, September, 2010 and I sat at St. Peter's Table."

That sentence was repeated by me several times this weekend as I was at the Sisters of St. Francis Retreat Center on my Cursillo weekend. How was it? I hated every moment of it . . . . until I was home. Once I was home and unpacked I realized how much I had gotten out of it. The reasons I didn't like it really had nothing to do with the Cursillo itself--it was more personal. I had only had one day off for the last two weeks prior to attending. I had no idea what to expect. I didn't want to be there. I had spiritual battles going on already before I went there so really . . . the only place I wanted to be was at home. This morning when I awoke, I realized how glad I was that I went.

I think I would describe a Cursillo as sort of a spiritual boot camp. Thursday night everyone came in, kind of nervous because we didn't know anyone and we didn't know what to expect. The first day you look at yourself and for me that really broke me down. The next day I was build back up and on they third day I was sure I could go out and be the next St. Paul on my "forth day." During the Cursillo you learn how to use a three prong approach of piety, study and apostolic action in order to become saints for ourselves and to go out and win souls for the Kingdom of God.

One of the things I really realized from my Cursillo was how many wonderful pious lay people there are out there. All of the team leaders that gave the talks were just amazing. And the group wasn't what you'd normally expect at a gathering of Catholic men. There was every walk of life there, from mechanics to realtors to pipe fitters to well, . . . police officers--and all wonderful pious people (well, maybe not the cop--he was rather tarnished)

Another thing I learned is that I really need to involve God in more things in my life and go to him in prayer more often. I'm horrible in prayer anyway so thinking about calling on the Holy Spirit prior to doing things is kind of abstract for me. It seems rather fooling though, not to ask him to guide you when dealing with difficult situations or difficult decisions. Why wouldn't you want to involve the designer of the universe prior to designing your kitchen? Before you go in to have have that personal discussion with someone who works for you, shouldn't you ask He who knows the heart of everyone for guidance.

I realized my purpose for being there when I realized how much they were talking about friends, how important they are and how we should help our friends get to Jesus. Well, one of my prayers is that the Lord help me to be like the friends of the paralytic who carried their friend to Jesus. I don't think God has great aspirations for me. I'm a simple husband, father and friend but my life's biggest goal is to make sure I get my friends to heaven. And I realized that the thing is I can't give what I don't have so I can't give my friends the Holy Spirit is I don't have the Holy Spirit in me. I need to work on that aspect so that I can lead my friends to God.

I would highly recommend anyone attend a Cursillo weekend, and I AM going to attend my closest friends and family to attend one.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot . . . . DE COLORES!!!!

Spiritual Dryness

2010-09-16T01:26:00.004-05:00

It's been about a week and a half since my last post. I wish it was just because I've been busy but unfortunately, I've been going through a bit of spiritual dryness. Spiritual dryness is basically when you go through a phase where you do not receive any consolation, such as relaxation, awe, elation or release, in your prayer life. You just aren't feeling God's presence. There are a number of reasons this may happen.

I wish my reason was because God is trying to draw me closer to Him but I fear it's more because of me pushing Him away. Let's face it, growing in the spiritual life is hard work. It takes dedication, time, sacrifice, willingness to pick up your own Cross and die to yourself. And to be honest, I really have not wanted to do all of that. I've been busy these past few weeks. I haven't gotten nearly the amount of sleep that I need. In fact, I think last week from Monday morning to Friday afternoon, I had gotten like 13 hours of sleep. When you are constantly on the go, it's normal for a person's prayer life to suffer if they weren't attentive to it and for me, prayer doesn't come easily anyway so it was very easy to let it slide.

I'll admit, I've been lazy. I've felt that it'd be easier just to go the past few weeks without having to answer to God. Just let me do what I want. I don't want to take precious moment to spend in prayer when those moments could be better served on Facebook. I would rather call that guy a jerk or to spew my anger instead of being Christian to my brother. To be honest, I haven't wanted God imposing on me. The thought, "I have free will and by-golly, I'm going to use it"seems to have been my mantra. I recognize that this has probably been due to spiritual attacks on me. Yes, Satan is real and he does whatever he can to take us away from God, and I think I've been allowing Satan's attacks to work on me.

Fortunately, I think what has been saving me is a healthy fear of the Lord, fearing the fires of Hell and of offending God. That's been my reason for going to confession regularly, for going to mass even when I really wanted to do anything else but spend an hour at church. A friend's been making me go to adoration regularly which has helped also---nothing like quiet time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. The problem is that I haven't gotten the consolation that I seek. I haven't had that sense of relief after reconciliation or great feeling of love and joy after receiving the Eucharist and once I'm done with my Holy Hour and outside of the church I feel like Secular Jamie--back to cussing out the guy who is driving the speed limit in the passing lane (jerk).

Hopefully, relief is at hand. Thursday night I am going on a Cursillio--a retreat--until Sunday morning. I'm really hoping that a few days with no worries of kids, bills, work and other stresses and focusing on God will get me back in the saddle and come back next week recharged and ready to go. We'll see.

Five Ways That Life IS Like a Race

2010-09-06T08:28:00.008-05:00

One of my favorite analogies in the Bible, and one that I think seems to help me the most in my spiritual life, is when St. Paul compares life to a race. He says that we must rid ourselves of every burden and sin so that we may win the race (Heb 12:1.) He also reminds us that not all runners win so that we must run to win the prize (1 Corr 9:24). I like this analogy because you can get so different ideas from it.

The spiritual life is a race and not a spontaneous event. Some believe that to win all they have to do is to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. That's like saying all you have to do is to strap into the starting blocks. It's a great start--and but it's only the start! You have a long race ahead of you, buddy. Many things can change between the starting line and the finish line. Some people get bogged down by sin and don't finish. Some people quit all together. You have a long race ahead of you. Don't get too excited because you started the race. You have to endure until the end and Satan is going to do his best to try to make you lose.

There are many strokes we can use to use to get ahead. In swimming there in the butterfly, the breast stroke, the backstroke as well as others. Swimmers may be better at one stroke than the other. We have many different devotions that we can use in order to help us get closer to Christ. Some people really enjoy the rosary while others may enjoy the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Some people have a devotion to one certain saint or another. It doesn't matter what you do. You don't even have to anything but realize that there are these devotions out there that can assist in helping you get closer to God.

We must stay on course. In the swimming pool there are lane dividers to help keep the swimmer in their lane and keep them from going off course. Hopefully, in our own lives we have people that serve as our lane dividers and keep us from going off course. Our family and friends are there to keep us on track and on course. Sometimes we are paddling so hard that it's hard for us to see that we are messing up and we need that friend to point out that we are doing something wrong. We need that spouse to tell us that we aren't acting correctly. We need these people in our lives to help guide us and to stop us when we are screwing up so we know when to take a step back and get back onto course.

The sacraments can boost us right up to the front. There are times in this race when we start falling behind. Sin is dragging us down. We are in the back of the pack and we are losing big time and it looks like there is no way we can possibly win. Going to reconciliation can be like a shot of nitrous oxide and just shoots us right up to the front. You will go from being loaded down with sin and sinking in the pool to free and clear and flying on top of the water. Going to mass and partaking in the Eucharist gives us the nourishment we need to keep us at the front. If you are at the back of the pack then get yourself back to the sacraments now!

We never know when the race may end. In a race, you may sign up for the 100m, 400m or even 800m race. You know how far you have to go until you reach the finish line. In life though, we don't know how far away the finish line is. I'm 39 years old. Hopefully, my finish line is at least another 40 years away. But I must always be realistic and keep in mind that today may be my last. I want to be winning the race whenever that yellow tape comes up. I can't be slacking, sucking wind and getting my butt beat. I have to be always on the top of my game and winning this thing.

The most important thing that we must remember in this race is that we can't and won't win it alone. Yes, we need the family and the friends but most importantly, we need God in our lives in order to win this race. We need prayer, the sacraments and we need Jesus along with us ever step of the way. So don't try to leave without Him.

I'm a (Future God)Father!

2010-09-03T13:02:00.002-05:00

My baby sister, Maggie, gave birth yesterday morning to Joseph Eric Edward Crawford yesterday morning. Little Joseph was 8lbs, 15.2 oz (maybe he's big Joseph) and 19 inches long. And Maggie and Ryan asked ME to be the Godfather! What an honor!

To Be a Martyr

2010-09-01T06:42:00.002-05:00

Looking back through church history, it’s not difficult to find stories of people who have literally given their lives for Christ. From the Acts of the Apostles up through modern times, there are numerous examples of people who died at the hands of an executioner for not denying their Lord. It makes me wonder if we would be willing to give our lives for the name of Jesus.

It’s seems kind of obvious, while still remaining admirable that yes, of course we would give our lives for Jesus. We look back at the first centuries and see how the first Christians were tortured in order to make them deny Jesus. They were decapitated, burned alive, skinned, drowned and even crucified upside down. We read these stories and think to ourselves (at least I do), “well, of course they died for Jesus! That’s an easy decision! Boy, martyrdom would be an EASY way to go to Heaven! We all have to die sometime.”

The interesting thing is that Christians are still being martyred for their faith today. In different countries around the world Christians are literally dying because they will not deny Jesus. Can you imagine that? It today’s world, people are being tortured and killed because they are trying to evangelize or in some cases just living a Christian life. Just for trying to go to mass they are being killed. It makes you feel like a wimp for not wanting to fast during lent doesn’t it? An interesting thought is that for some reason, I read these stories today and I wonder to myself, “Why don’t they just deny they are Christian? Jesus will understand. That way they can go back to their families. They don’t really have to stop believing!” What is the difference between looking up to the early Christians for giving their life and questioning the modern Christians for giving up theirs?

Here is an interesting thought. We actually have opportunities to be martyrs on a daily basis—just not in a bloody way. How many times a day are we presented an opportunity to live our lives in the way Jesus wants us to even though doing so means not doing something that we don’t want to do? We have an opportunity at that point to die to ourselves, pick up our own cross and become a martyr. We have a chance to not gossip, not get angry at our kids, not to check out the attractive brunette. We have the opportunity not to bad mouth the co-worker or poke fun at someone. What do we do though? Do we do the right thing and die to sin or do we help nail Jesus to the cross? Martyrdom isn’t as easy as it sounds, huh?

Jesus is My Friend

2010-08-30T08:17:00.003-05:00

I got an email this morning who gave me a link to 10 Unintentionally Hilarious Christian Music Videos at Christian Colleges Online and it reminded me of a segment they do on my favorite radio show, The Catholic Guy Show on Sirius 159/XM 117 satellite radio (3pm Central, replay at 11pm Central.) They bring on Kayla from The Message Amped and play parts of 4-5 songs and then rank them in an attempt to spread the word that there is good contemporary Christian Music and that it's not all like the below video that all good TCGS listeners will recognize:

The link to the 10 Unintentionally Hilarious Christian Music Videos is great. Check it out---it even shows a video fro MC Hammer and definately check out Lino Rulli on The Catholic Guy Show!